I found an alien device

I was in my room playing video games, being an unemployed loser. My family was always insulting me for this reason, and there really wasn't much I could do to change it. Every job application I'd applied for had been rejected, so I spent my evenings playing games and watching porn. Yeah, sounds pretty depressing, right?

It was approximately 4:37 a.m. and I was playing video games. My parents were out of town, so I was in charge of housekeeping. When I heard a huge explosion in the backyard, which worried me a lot, as it could have been a gas leak or something similar. My parents would kill me if they found out I set the house on fire while they were gone, so I quickly put on some pants and went to check out what had happened.

As I opened my bedroom door, the lights in my house went completely out. Whatever exploded caused a blackout. By this point, I was starting to get a little scared, so I grabbed a broom, thinking I'd use it as a weapon in case there was any danger.

When I reached the first floor of my house, everything was covered in a green glow emanating from the backyard. It was very bright and shone in a way I'd never seen before. It was as if this light was above the color spectrum. It pulsed in my eyes in an almost painful way, but the fear at that moment was greater.

I really considered my options: whether it would be the right thing to go out, or should I lock myself in my room and call the police to take care of this. On the other hand, if my parents found out I called the police by mistake, they would mock me for the rest of my life. So I mustered up all the courage I could and opened the back door.

The lawn in my backyard was torn up everywhere, my mother had a couple of garden gnomes lying broken on the ground, and in the center of it all, the source of the terrifying green glow. A metallic cylinder the size of a pickup truck. Every cell in my body screamed at me to run away, to call the authorities, but my curiosity was stronger; I really wanted to know what this was about, even if my life was at risk.

As I approached the cylinder, it had strange inscriptions all over it, in a language I'd never seen before. And believe me, for an unemployed man living with his parents, I'm pretty smart. This wasn't Sumerian, or Egyptian, or anything that existed on Earth, for sure.

I used my broom and brought it close to the cylinder, tapping it to see if it sounded hollow.

But as I tried to get closer to the crater, I accidentally fell. I tried to stop my fall, but without realizing it, I had clung to the strange metal that had fallen into my yard.

My hand began to burn, and the metal began to change color. The green glow turned red, and a voice in a strange language began to sound inside my head. It was a deep voice, and every word it spoke certainly couldn't have been pronounced by a human voice.

The strange metal cylinder opened, and inside was a device similar to a tablet, but it had a very strange appearance, somehow very futuristic, and my hands reached out on their own to pick it up. The feel of the material was strange; it was very smooth, not like plastic or metal, and it was pleasant to hold.

At that moment, the voice sounded in my head again, and my vision went completely blurry. I felt like I was going to faint, and suddenly everything went black.