Night thoughts

When you wake up it's dark outside, glancing at the bedside clock you could see that it was a little after four in the morning. You didn't dare to move quite yet though, Doe was breathing heavily on top of you. It seems that while you were sleeping she has decided to take over more of your body as a pillow.

You laid there for a few more minutes willing sleep to come, but it wasn't willing. Instead your thoughts started to race about Doe, your life, college, and the fact that you really didn't want to move out of Doe's house. Was it even appropriate for you to live there? It was a new relationship, but you've just known her for so long and it felt so natural. Kind of like a place you belonged. Should you just keep ignoring it or should you just make it official and ask if it was okay if you moved in? Even though you pretty much already did.

'Ahh... I just don't know what to do.' You thought to yourself. 'But I don't think I'm getting back to sleep, we must have gone to bed really early last night.' Probably around 9pm now that you thought about it. Soon you felt the urge to get up and start moving around, though you felt loathe to leave your lover's soft embrace and you didn't want to wake her.

Slowly, you move out of the bed, trying to replace your body with pillows and head tot he bathroom to relieve yourself. After that you head downstairs for a glass of water and just start to pace, thinking. You found yourself doing this many times in the past when you weren't sure of yourself, pacing around and talking to yourself when you were all alone: trying to talk things out with yourself. It was one of the little things that you did that you didn't really feel like sharing with Doe - no need to unleash the crazy. You started to talk out-loud - although in a quiet voice - about how you living there should be discussed, but how you didn't want to risk her saying no.

Footsteps behind you. You turn around and see Doe coming down the stairs, wiping her eyes. "What are you talking to John? It's 5am."

"Oh, uh just thinking out loud." You say, giving her a smile. "I didn't wake you did I?"

"Not really, but it's easy for me to notice when someone I'm holding replaces himself with pillows." Doe gave you a sly, yet tired look.

"Sorry about that, I couldn't sleep anymore. Er... want me to get breakfast started?" You head towards the kitchen.

"Might as well, I need to be up in an hour anyways." Doe sits at the kitchen table while you busy yourself on the stove, making french toast with bacon. "So what were you thinking about at five in the morning?"

"Oh you know, just this and that... Random stuff." You say, brushing off the topic.

"It didn't sound like random stuff, sounded like you wanted to talk to me about something. If you have something to say, you know you can just say it to me. Just like always." She smiled at you comfortingly, which made you wonder why you were so nervous with her sometimes.

"Well... you know. I was just hoping i wasn't overstepping any bounds by staying here for so long."

Doe was silent for a moment. "I did say you could stay for as long as you wanted."

"Well yea you did, I just... well I really like living here with you. And I didn't exactly want that to end anytime soon..." You **** out, just staring at the food on the stove as you say it.

Without hesitating she replied, "How about as long as you bring the cuddles, you can stay here."

You breath an internal sigh of relief and can't hide your smile on the outside either. "Well I'm fine with that arrangement Doe."