Bruh

NICK: bruh. wtf. I just had lunch w Joey n it was insane. Madison n Aynsley were all over him. like ALL OVER HIM

RAJ: lmao. sure they were. did they also peel his grapes n fan him w a palm leaf?

NICK: dude im not even kidding. Madison was practically in his lap n Aynsley was right there w her. like touching his arm, giggling at everything he said. shit was unreal.

JAKE: lmao. called it. u think that just happened?? nah bro. ur boy Joey owes me BIG.

RAJ: oh good. ur taking credit. was worried this was a normal convo for a sec.

NICK: wait what u mean owes u??

JAKE: bruh Madison LITERALLY called me askin how to get w Joey. u think she just woke up n decided he’s the hottest guy in school?? nah. that was me. I gave her the blueprint. told her what he likes. and guess what?? she LISTENED.

RAJ: damn. so ur like the Joey Whisperer now. incredible.

NICK: wait fr?? Madison asked u for advice???

JAKE: yup. told her Joey’s into chill girls. no drama, dress up when it counts, big tits never hurt. n she ATE THAT SHIT UP.

NICK: bro. she really did. she was in this tight ass top. like, insane.

RAJ: rip to every dude at that lunch table tryna pretend not to look.

JAKE: see?? i fkn TOLD u. I built this. me. madison should be THANKIN ME. Joey should be buyin me a beer.

NICK: ok but Aynsley too?? how tf did that happen?? u talk to her too??

JAKE: nah no clue w that one. maybe Madison converted her. chicks are weird like that.

RAJ: or maybe ur magic joey spell’s just THAT powerful. u should bottle it.

JAKE: lmao fr tho. dude Joey’s like barely even trying n these girls are THROWIN themselves at him.

NICK: that’s what’s messin w me. he wasn’t even DOIN anything. just sittin there. chillin. like he didn’t even NOTICE.

RAJ: maybe that’s the move. complete obliviousness. next time a girl talks to me im just gonna stare off into the distance like a deep thinker.

JAKE: lmao yeah good luck w that.

NICK: fr tho. Joey’s got it figured out. I thought yesterday was crazy but today?? idk man. shit’s different now.

JAKE: different?? bro it’s a whole new world. Joey’s livin it. rest of us just watchin.

RAJ: smh. never thought I’d say this but… maybe Jake’s right.

JAKE: damn right i am. next time u see Joey, tell him he owes me.