Changing You: The Self-improvement App

Sure, this was a new phone, and bloatware is normal, but this just looked stupid, ‘Changing You’ – probably some workout app or calorie tracker or something. Without seeing an uninstall, I click on the app to see what it’s about.

Welcome to Changing You! This is a new app that will help you take control of your life and make you the Person you always were meant to be!

New User Detected. Initializing …

Seems like a lot of lead-up to let me record ‘how many chips you ate today’ or give great 'try talking to new people' level of advice. Trying to click the back button on the phone doesn’t work, meaning the app continues to load.

Initialization complete. User scan starting …

Just end, I need to go back to, something.

Scan complete, sorting results… Initial Profile loading … Profile complete.

Scrolling down, I see all the information filled out. Fuck, it already knows my name...