The Chapter Where They Visit a Library

Skye

Tina exuberantly runs towards the hallway door that leads to the library, half dragging Skye behind her.

“Ms. Tina, slow down. The library is not going to disappear,” Skye begs.

“Hey, I’m excited. Magic is so cool. Have you thought to get you some? Wait... That’s lame”

After selecting the library option from the appropriate door, a sign appears hanging off of it, declaring: “Reading Fee for the Library: 1 BP per day. The first library book purchased on a given day has a 1 BP discount.”

The sacred texts tell tales of libraries with reading fees. While many of those libraries are mundane, merely charging scholars for the use of their materials as a means to stay afloat (and keeping those pesky adventurer types from destroying expensive books willy-nilly), some charge gold to protect amazing secrets. Skye conveys this to her rabbit-eared friend. Then she walks in. A screen display turns on by the door, showing her name and a 1 BP reading fee charge; apparently, the charge will not be applied to her BP account until they leave.

Looking over the library, an amazing array of books are on display. Deep mahogany bookshelves are arranged in perfect rows over equally rich wood floors. Lovely wooden tables, with surprisingly comfortable chairs are placed strategically for ease of reading. The aesthetic is marred slightly by the ever-present glass water tubes, but it is still the best library she has ever seen.

Tina bumps into the awed girl, causing her to stumble slightly.

“Hey, you okay?”

“Wow. This place is so cool.”

The two girls walk forward. Skye begins her search for the ever-useful card catalog like the one at her community library. She thinks about spending cold winter mornings with her Moms there so Skye could work on her studies. She nearly bumps into the librarian check-out desk.

Tina, obviously more interested in the destination and not the journey, rings the little desk bell, bellowing, “Hey, can we get some service here?”

Skye was about to politely correct the older woman of the faux pas she was committing when a heavily Greek accented voice seems to rise from underneath the desk, “Keep your panties on, I’m coming.”

Rising with a small splash, a heavily muscled woman appears. She is properly unclothed with breasts smaller than Skye’s. Her hair is streaked with black, blue, and yellow. Her face is quite beautiful, despite the several scars that run across it, including one that seems to have permanently damaged her vision in one eye. She scowls at the noisy bunny girl, sighs, then puts on the fake customer service smile one wears around unruly customers showing a great many shark-like teeth.

“Hi. I’m Calypso. Yes, I’m a mermaid. Yes, Disney lied to you about us. Don’t bother asking questions; I got more important stuff to do. I’m the librarian here. What do you want? The tavern is 2 doors down to your left.”

Tina responds, “I’m looking for the Sacred Texts of Gygax.”

“Gonna have to be way more specific there. We have every piece of literature here from every dimension this show is broadcast to, plus every piece of literature from every dimension this show draws contestants from. Once you throw languages into the mix, there are literally thousands of different versions of any particular text you ask for. So, let’s start with the basics, can you read or do you need a picture book version?”

Tina scoffs, “Of course I can read. Why would I go to a library if I can’t read?”

“Do you want me to answer that, or would you rather tell me which specific instance of the book you are looking for?”

“Both?”

“Ok, you, quiet girl with the small egg sacs, what’s this sign say?”

Skye, confused by the egg sac comment, reads, “Do not disturb people in the library.”

The mermaid just gives a sarcastic stare at Tina.

“Ok,” Tina whisper-shouts, “I’m sorry. Now, how can I tell you which version of a book I want?”

“Well, it depends on how much you wish to spend. I can collate several different versions for you to peruse for a small fee, but I will note that you will probably have to visit several times to get a full grasp on what you seek. If you wish to purchase, I can pull a copy from your dimension in the language you are most literate in for a mere 5 BP. Or, if you like a version from a dimension that is not relying on conjecture from a **** out hippie but with the actual insight you seek, that’ll be 10 BP. Don’t forget the reading fee is waived for the day if you purchase a book.”

The bunny girl looks increasingly frustrated, “Fine, what’s the most economical way to get my questions about magic answered.”

“Go to Row 21764242864296, shelf section B. Grab a copy of ‘Book of Arcane Magic’ in whatever language you can read. Bring it back here. Pay me 10 BP. Alternatively, go to Row 86429140225, shelf section Q. Grab a copy of ‘The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Being a Sorcerer’. Bring it back here. Pay me 10 BP.”

Tina stomps off, looking for the indicated rows. Calypso then turns to Skye.

“Now you, fellow tiny egg sac girl, I was not forewarned about. What book do you seek?”

“Oh, I was looking for the card catalog.”

“What is this, the 1970’s? Nobody uses a card catalog anymore. We got computers? Automated search functions? Massive databases of information, scanned through in milliseconds. Why spend hours manually flipping through cardstock?”

“My community library still uses card catalogs. We don’t have much need for computers.”

“Cute. I’m the closest thing to a card catalog you are going to find. What are you looking for?”

“I was looking for a copy of my family’s prayerbook.”

Calypso starts hen-pecking onto a waterproofed keyboard, then notes, “That is a long walk, probably taking most of the day to get it and come back, but it’ll only cost you 5 BP. There are some cross-reference options, if you are interested. Do you speak any dialect of Elvish?”

“No. The language of the Goddess was never recorded to an extent that we could learn it.”

“Do you know how weird it is for a human from a mundane world to worship an Elvish deity? Much shorter walk to get you to prayer books to her from dimensions she actually has influence in. Smidgen longer walk for a book on basic Elvish grammar. Those books will cost you 10 BP each. So, tiny egg sac girl, what’ll it be?”

She ends up asking for directions to all of the options, then mulls over the disturbing information she received as she walks. She knew her community worshiped the Goddess using incomplete information; relying on an unbelieving scribe to record things second-hand means not everything is noted. But the thought that She couldn’t hear their prayers, their Evensongs? That they have failed to please Her so completely? That just wouldn’t do. Before she even got to the extradimensional prayer books, Skye resolves to re-devote herself, to start exploring her faith from the very beginning. When she gets to this first stop, she is disheartened to find that most of the books are written only in Elvish; she has seen enough smatterings of Elvish script to recognize the language, even if she has no idea what any of it means. After nearly an hour of frantic digging, she finally finds a text written in both English and Elvish, a side-by-side translation. She flips through the pages, looking for something to help her be sure. Finding a prayer song for guidance, she begins to sight read, to sing, to pray. Suddenly, she hears a loud thud; a book from a shelf way too high for her to reach randomly fell off the shelf. “Preparations for the Changedance.” she reads quietly. She takes both the prayer book she found and the other book that figuratively fell into her lap back to the librarian.

Tina: -10 BP

Skye: -20 BP

Francis

Francis generally spends his day the same as yesterday: eat, listen to episodes from other seasons while reading (he found a book on mermaid physiology in his small reading nook area) until he feels too disgusted to continue (he has yet to actually finish a whole season; he finds them all get too grotesque), then workout until he feels too sore to move (the much longer hair he woke up with gets very annoying when he works out). Repeat until time for his date. He figures out how to set an alarm on the TV so he has an hour to prepare (he doesn’t want to make that mistake again).

While “watching film”, he does notice some patterns. Every time a version of him was made the Master, that “Francis” was pulled from reality right before life would have collapsed. One of the Master “Francis”’s was even pulled right after being fired for recording his boss saying similar bullshit that Gregorio spouted before he was pulled. Master “Francis” usually came in two basic varieties, with little in between. Angry “Francis” always ended up a monster, abusing his or her harem girls in terrible ways. Depressed “Francis” usually failed to really get anywhere with the harem and most of those girls ended up eliminated. He hopes that he bucks those trends and finds a way to allow himself to be loved.

Most of the time a version of him was made a contestant, it seems he’s pulled just before he got his life truly together. The Master for those seasons seem to always be a disgruntled student. And, within the first or second round of transformations, any male contestant “Francis” was transformed into either a woman or a sissy boi. This is actually pretty consistent among male contestants; even when the Master of the season is obviously a straight woman, most, if not all, of the male contestants end up being female by the end due to how the audience reacts (note: a straight woman does not want to be the Master of a season unless that season’s host completely denies the audience the choice for MtF transformations). What disturbs Francis the most about his contestant doppelgangers is how attractive he finds them to be after the transformation. It certainly helps that most “Francis” contestants quickly abandon appeasing the Master (who is usually a snot-nosed kid Francis would punch in the face if it was legal to do so) to find love among the other contestants. While “Francis” is inevitably eliminated, there is usually a scene or two of that “Francis” having lesbian sex with the roommate he was assigned. In fact, the TV alarm goes off near the beginning of a scene with a cute little subby “Francis” girl about to start stripping for a bimbofied girl that’s normally an absolutely gorgeous redhead. He pauses the scene, turns off the TV, and goes to hit the shower.

He needs to impress this new girl, despite his nerves. He needs to hold onto hope so he can keep those promises he made to them.