Plastered Pixels

Alexis Martinez-Jones

“AAAAHHH!! SON OF A WHORE!!!” A distraught shout filled the small, one-bedroom apartment. On the computer screen, a naked man in a large pot wielding a hammer tumbled down a mountain of various pieces of debris while, in the bottom-right corner, a large-chested, blue-skinned anime girl dressed in a skintight leotard screamed her frustration.

“Why the hell did I ever let you assholes talk me into this stupid game?! This sucks even worse than when I let you bully me into playing Jump King for 18 hours!” The woman at the computer was on the verge of tears, having spent most of her day struggling to make any progress in the latest rage game that her chat talked her into playing. “Screw this, I’m done! I’m getting a fucking drink, and I’ll see you jerks on Monday!” Taking a moment to breathe as she shut down the offending game, she remembered to at least get back into character before signing off. As she prepared to end her stream, she switched back to the sweet, cutesy voice that she normally used for her streams.

“I’m sorry, I got a bit too heated just now. What I meant to say is ‘Thanks for spending another evening with me. I’m Aria Astaria, and I hope you’ll think of me when you look up at the starry sky.’ Bye-bye, now.” The vtuber model in the corner of the stream winked as she gave her cheesy, scripted farewell.

The unkempt Puerto Rican woman at the desk was Alexis Martinez-Jones, a technically unemployed shut-in who has been making a meager living as a vtuber for the past 2 years or so. Prior to the events that led to her becoming a vtuber, she had been an office assistant at a local law firm, which has since gone out of business. The reason for this being an accident that resulted in both of her legs being broken. You see, this law firm was incredibly unethical in its treatment of its employees, constantly working them to exhaustion. Alexis had been at the tail end of her third 20-hour shift that week when, in her exhausted delirium, she failed to notice the puddle on the tile floor of the inaptly named break room (which was, of course, lacking a wet floor sign) and started to slip. Flailing in an attempt to keep her balance, she stumbled backward and out of a window that had been left open after one of the partners of the firm had stood there for a smoke break. She fell two stories, her fall only broken by a fortunately placed pile of boxes… that happened to be blocking the fire exit.

The lawsuit that followed was comedically fast, and resulted in a rather hefty sum paid out to her—more than enough to cover her expenses for the foreseeable future. Between the money they owed her, as well as the mountain of fines they were **** to pay, the Law Offices of Scheiss & Kopf were quickly **** to permanently close their doors. With help from her adoptive parents, she made a full recovery over the next several months, and she ultimately decided “Fuck working. I’m just gonna stay home from now on.” Luckily for her, she happened to discover a new revenue stream while she was in recovery, vtubing. The new craze that had blown up during and following the pandemic, she figured that it didn’t matter if she was rather average looking (the stress of her job having taken its toll on her appearance), all she needed to get people to watch her was to stream from behind the façade of a big-tittied anime girl. And thus, for the past 2 years, she has been easing the drain on her savings with the small bit of money coming in from her viewers, having gained a small but loyal audience who enjoy her surprisingly good karaoke skills and her surprisingly bad gaming skills. Although, with days like today, she wonders if it’s worth it, given how sadistic her viewers are when it comes to game requests.

Stretching to ease the stiffness from sitting at her computer for the past several hours, Alexis stood and began shutting down her computer before heading to the fridge in her very small kitchen at the other end of the room. Bending over to check the supply of **** in her fridge—she certainly needed some after the **** her chat had put her through, she was disappointed to see that all she had were several cans of Strong Zero that chat had pestered her to try in an upcoming stream.

”Guess I should go ahead and try one… it wouldn’t be a good idea to drink these on stream without even knowing how I’ll handle them.” She certainly hoped they were worth the trouble it took for her to find them. They weren’t normally available in any of the liquor stores near her apartment in Vancouver; she’d actually had to ask one of the owners of the local liquor stores to special order it for her, since they already stocked a few cans of Asahi. Sitting back down, can in hand, she popped the tab before taking a hesitant sip.

“Damn, that’s pretty good. How much is in these, again? You gotta be shitting me—no way that’s 9 percent.” She mumbled to herself as she sipped. Maybe it’s some weird Japanese thing, and it’s actually 9 proof, or something. This shit’s basically fruit juice. As she reached the bottom of the can several minutes later, she decided that she wasn’t yet satisfied. Fuck it, one more couldn’t hurt.

An hour later

Alexis now sat, thoroughly tipsy and two and a half cans deep, lazily watching a YouTube video of a chemist making hot sauce from plastic gloves. She had come to find out that yes, those cans were all 9 percent ABV, and that she had become the latest victim of what many have deemed “the gaijin killer.” She briefly wondered why she was this tipsy—even if it was this strong, she usually had better tolerance than this. Her question was swiftly answered in the form of a rumbling from her stomach. Shit. I haven’t eaten anything today. Shakily making her way back to her fridge—and only briefly cursing when she banged her shin against the door, she surveyed her food situation.

“Fuck. I was supposed to go to the store after the stream! I got so tilted that I just went straight to drinking. Ah, screw it. I’m just gonna get something from that new convenience store.” She quickly (or as quickly as she could in her current state) threw on a hoodie and some sweatpants, put her messy, dark brown hair in a loose ponytail and grabbed the flyer with the directions to that new convenience store. As she finished making her way down the stairs of her apartment complex, she squinted at the map on the flyer before looking up and noticing the bright sign that read “HH Convenient Cuisine.” It was directly across the street. Feeling herself progressively getting more **** as her body processed the ****, she made her way across the, thankfully not busy, street, only to do a double take when she was greeted by an empty lobby for something that was obviously not a convenience store. She walked back out and confirmed that the sign was indeed for HH Convenient Cuisine before returning to the lobby.

“Hey! Is anyone here? This is a convenience store, right?” She loudly called through the empty halls, putting in a bit of extra effort to not slur her words. “Hellooo? Do you carry Hot Pockets?” Getting annoyed at the lack of customer service as well as the absence of any food in sight, she began to leave to find dinner somewhere else when she felt a cool breeze from an open set of double doors that she hadn’t noticed before. She crossed into the lavish garden on the other side. The fuck kind of convenience store has a garden where the liquor section is supposed to be? She began making her way toward the large structure in the center of the garden… before losing her balance. As she wobbled perilously on one foot, her body made the instinctive decision that falling sideways into the bushes would hurt far less than faceplanting into the cobblestone, and so she threw her weight to the side.

“WUAAGH!!” Her startled cry shot through the garden followed shortly by the crash and crack of her body snapping several limbs (plant limbs this time—quite fortunately) as she now found herself ass-up in the shrubbery. Wincing from some light scratches and what will likely develop into a rather interestingly shaped bruise, Alexis pushed herself up and turned her head at the silhouette in her peripheral vision—someone offering her a hand up.

“Oh dear, that was quite the entrance you made. No points for originality, unfortunately—we’ve just had someone else come crashing through, you see.” The stranger spoke in a smooth, mature voice as she led Alexis into the bright pavilion. Alexis glanced quizzically as she tried to make out the appearances of the people around her.

“Why are you all so blurry? I swear I’m not that drunk.”

“No, dear, only drunk enough to forget your glasses.” The figure reached out to offer a blur in the shape of a pair of glasses. Once they were placed, Alexis could now clearly see the small crowd present, as well as the beautiful woman that had helped her to her feet.

“Thanks. Sorry about the bushes. I guess these flew off when I fell.” Alexis wobbly nodded in thanks, forgetting that she had never put her glasses back on after getting dressed.

“Not to worry. Someone will have that fixed in no time. Now, I’m sure you’re quite hungry and have several questions, but how about we take care of introductions first? Here’s an apple to help hold you over until we can get something more filling for you.” The woman led Alexis to a chair as she reached behind Alexis and produced an apple. While this was happening, a few of the others present were having a conversation in low voices.

“What’s the verdict, Adam? Is she someone you know, too?” A tan woman asked the man sitting next to her.

“Nope. I’ve never seen this girl before.” The man answered, shaking his head.

“Now then, Miss Alexis, it’s nice to meet you. My name is Sera, and I’m the manager here.” Alexis’ attention was drawn back to the woman who offered her the apple. Sera, apparently. “Before we move on, could you please tell us your name, age, occupation, cup size, and most recent sexual encounter?”

“What is that, some weird new age verification? What happened to just showing my ID? Um… Alexis Martinez-Jones, 29, unemployed but I stream as a vtuber named Aria Astaria, B-cup, and nunya.” Alexis answered, confused by the line of questioning, but not aware enough to wonder how Sera knew her name in the first place. She started to voice the question on her mind before Sera waved her hand and **** out the answer that Alexis had previously refused to give. “Not sure. A few years ago, maybe? I don’t really get out much. I guess I masturbated last week if that counts.”

“So THAT’S why her voice sounds familiar. I’ve watched a bunch of her streams. She’s the vtuber I was telling you about, Aoba.” The man—Adam, chimed in, turning to address the small Asian girl sitting on the other side of the tan woman.

“Oh, yeah… I never got around to actually watching her.” Aoba sheepishly replied.

“Meh, can’t say you’re missing out on too much.” Alexis chuckled to herself. “Shit. Didn’t expect one of my viewers to be here. Probably shouldn’t have said all that. Um… ah, fuck, just don’t go tweeting that shit I said about the masturbating.”

“Oh, let’s not worry about something as trivial as that right now. We’re beginning to wind down our opening introductions. Only two guests left! Hope you’re all excited, because our penultimate guest is here now!” Sera excitedly proclaimed as she swung her arm toward the entrance of the garden.