Speaking of wild...

Andrew's mind was burning with curiosity as he sat in his mostly-clean dorm room and awaited a knock on the door. For the first time, Erica had suggested meeting him here instead of Ross's apartment or her office. She told him she had a surprise for him and she wanted to give it to him in person, so he hurriedly cleaned up and asked his roommate for a few hours to spend alone with a girl. Jason agreed and now Andrew was sweating nervously and checking his phone every thirty seconds.

Finally, at 6:00 sharp, he heard three raps on the door in quick succession. He opened it to see Professor Levinson wearing her usual business casual attire and a huge grin.

"Nice place," she said drily as she let herself in. "It's bigger than mine."

"Thanks," Andrew said awkwardly. He gestured to the minifridge. "Can I get you something? We've got Mountain Dew, and, uh, Code Red."

"No thanks," she said. She seemed uncharacteristically chipper, and he said so.

"Did you use a modifier script? Is that the surprise?"

She shook her head. "No and no. Before we get to your surprise, I wanted to have a little heart-to-heart with you."

Andrew was stunned. Professor Levinson had never shown any interest in exploring his feelings. "Sure, I guess. I mean, you don't have a heart, right?"

"It's a metaphor, Andrew." She sat down on his stained futon and crossed her legs. She patted the spot next to her and he sat as well.

"Wasn't that sweet, how we helped Ross surprise Madison with the irrationality discovery?"

"Yeah." Ross felt a twinge of sentimentality. "She had no idea it was coming, apparently. She nearly passed out in the restaurant."

Erica rubbed his back lightly. "It's nice when people can do that sort of thing for each other," she said. "Wouldn't it be nice to have someone to do that for you?"

"I guess," he said. "Are you- are you, like, asking to be my girlfriend? You're like thirty, and you work for the school!"

"Ok, I'll fess up," she said with a grin. "I changed my script a little. Can you tell?"

"It's obvious," he said. "But why? Is this like some kind of girlfriend script you're trying? Not that I don't like it, I just don't know where you're going with all of this."

"Try to guess what I changed," Erica said, clearly relishing drawing out the mystery.

"Ok. You're, uh, a lot peppier. And you're touching me more. You seem less stiff too, less put-together."

She pouted a little. "What, you don't like my makeup?"

"That's not what I meant!" Andrew protested. "But you're messing with me and stuff! You're acting kind of like Madison. Does it have something to do with her script?"

Erica shook her head. "Wrong again. Ok, I'll just tell you. I've been working on my script, trying to make small alterations to the core identity. I'm not quite finished, but what you're seeing is my personality in the form of a 22-year-old student instead of a 35-year-old professor."

Andrew furrowed his brow. "So that's the surprise? That you made yourself a coed for me?"

She giggled a little. "Nope! I still haven't gotten to the surprise yet. Before I do, I have to ask you something, and I want you to be completely honest with me. Do you have feelings for me?"

Andrew's face grew bright crimson and he looked down. A beat passed before he quietly replied in the affirmative. Erica put a hand under his chin and brought his face back up to look him in the eye.

"I'm glad, Andrew. That's what I hoped you would say. See, I've also got this script." She held another one aloft. "It's for an expert resculptor."

"Resculptor?" he asked. "As in people who can change golem's appearances?"

Erica nodded. "That's right. You see, we still need to figure out what we're going to do with Dr. Chambers. I like you a lot and it seems like you like me, so I talked to Madison and Ross and proposed a plan that could help us all out."

Andrew's eyes shined as the pieces started to fall into place. "Yeah? What's the plan?"

"Well, we still have my original script, and it hasn't been bound to Dr. Chambers at all. It's designed to process and assimilate information quickly so that we can be hot-swapped - all I have to do is prepare a document laying out everything he'll need to know to take over for me. After that, he'll be the new Erica Levinson and it will be as if none of this ever happened."

"And you..."

"If we do this, then you're talking to the new me. No more professorship, no more austere lectures and emotional distance and professional courtesy. You'll get Erica the free-spirited twentysomething if you want her."

Andrew blinked, suddenly aware that he was tearing up. "And the resculptor..."

"That's a bonus. First we'll resculpt Chambers to be a copy of me, then you and I get to decide what your hot new golem girlfriend looks like. After that, no more sneaking around or dealing with technicians. Chambers is gone, Professor Levinson is back to her old self, and I'm all yours."

Andrew was overwhelmed. He embraced her tightly and clung to her like a life preserver. "Why?" he asked in a tremulous voice. She broke the embrace and put a hand on his cheek.

"Because I like you, dummy."