Lovusian food sucks

I didn’t completely get what Cait was laughing about, but she called me cute so I let it slide without any more thought.

My attention went to the restaurant’s interior. As much as Lovus’ culture irked me, I had to admit it won be out aesthetically at times. It was like if a butcher shop, a diner, and a computer had a child. Diner style seating, with softly glowing wires holding hybrid animals in the air. There was a massive line. I was about to ask if we may want to go somewhere else, but then Cait started pulling my hand deeper into the restaurant.

Cait led me to a seat that had a lion-pig above it. The front half was lion, while the back was pig. The gaping lion jaw hanging over my head was slightly concerning, but I guess I’d be fine if I reacted to it falling quick enough.

“This place is packed; how’d you know this table would be open?”

“I come here a lot, so they save this seat for me if I call ahead.” Cait blushed slightly. It was adorable.

A waiter walked over and leaned on the table, grinning wide at Cait. Before I could get jealous, he spoke.

“Hey, girl! The usual?” Gay voice. He had the gay voice! Maybe I’m a dick, but I was much happier that a (probably) gay guy was her friend instead of a normal guy. Yeah. I am a dick.

“Yeah, the usual will be good.” Cait nodded. “And… a milkshake? With… two straws?” She looked at me, her face getting a little redder than before.

“Ooh, so this is a date.” The waiter turned his attention to me. He looked me up and down slowly. “He’s… alright, I guess. We have much different taste in men, I’ll tell you that.”

Cait laughed. “Stop that, Chad!”

He gave a dismissive hand wave. “Oh, I won’t fuck this up for you. I’ve been telling you you needed to get a date for months now, ever since-“

“Nope! We aren’t doing that!” Cait interrupted loudly.

Chad covered his mouth. “My bad. One usual, one milkshake… what do you want, honey?”

“Uh… I’ll just have what Cait gets?”

He snorted. “You’d be the first.”

Before I could ask what I’d gotten myself into, he left. Cait seemed riled up after Chad’s comment. I wanted to distract her from whatever past Chad was going to bring up.

“So… how was work?”

That seemed to pull Cait out of her head.

“Oh, work? I-it was good.” She nervously pushed her glasses back to straight on her face. “I just added another novel to my selection, so sales are up, which is expected when I add one. House of Leaves. Have you read it?”

I shake my head. “No. In all honesty, I don’t read too much.”

Cait put a hand over her mouth in faux-offense and a cartoonishly fake gasp. “Goodness, dating the Cait of Cait’s Collection… and he doesn’t read?! The headlines will be scandalous, to say the least!” She laughed at her own joke. I laughed along with her.

Suddenly, she stopped laughing and turned stone-serious.“Okay, but, in all seriousness you will be an avid reader by the time I’m done with you.”

I stifled my laugh and tried to decipher if she was fucking with me or not.

“Oh, uh… yeah. I, uh…” I stammered.

Cait lost her composure and started laughing again. “I’m just teasing you. I’ll give you a copy of a book I think you’d like after I get a better feel for what you’d like.”

Chad came back with our milkshake. It was like the movies: vanilla, whipped cream, cherry on top. The tall glass had two bendy straws in it, one facing her and the other facing me. He flashed Cait a smile and gave me a wink. I don’t know what the wink meant.

“At the movie theater you mentioned trying to expand to movies. How’s that going?” I asked.

Cait huffed. “I’ve been watching a shit-ton of movies, but I don’t know… I don’t think I ‘get it’ yet?” She put ‘get it’ in air quotes. “Like, I’ve watched good movies, obviously; but ones that fit my store is different. People come to me for a specific vibe, like ‘cult classics’ and ‘hidden gems’. I don’t think something like The Godfather fits the bill.”

I nodded. “Well, I have a friend who is a film buff. I could ask for suggestions for you to watch, if you’d like.”

She smiled widely. “That would be great! Though, I think it should be movies for us to watch instead of just me, huh?” Cait winked. I didn’t know what that wink meant either, but I liked it a lot more than when Chad did.

Speaking of which, Chad brought out the meal.

God, help me.

It was… a… uh….

“Okay, I know it looks weird, but it’s really good I promise!” Cait said, likely reading my horrified face. “So, basically, it’s a three-way hybrid of rabbit, deer, and octopus. It’s good, I promise!”

Visually, the meal was nightmarish. Eight long tails with horns growing off of them.

“Why wouldn’t they take the horns off?!” I asked, pulling at one.

“Aesthetic purposes?” She shrugged, giggling. “Just try it, I swear it tastes good!”

I picked up a tentacle and took a bite. It tasted like rabbit, but squishy/ fishy.

Chad had been watching the entire time, covering his mouth to hold back laughter.

“Hey, Chad? Where’s the bathroom?” I asked after I completed the taste.

“By the kitchen, over there.” He pointed. “Why?”

“I’m going to go vomit now.”

-

MichaelChaseLit is brought to you by https://www.patreon.com/MichaelChaseLit