The Wedding

[enter: Wayne, Cathie, Officiator, family, friends, and guests]

Officiator:

Dear family, friends, and guest objects
Thank you for coming here to witness, and reflect
Upon the union of this couple; Wayne, the object of success
With recognition of class mathematician he is blessed
And Cathie his bride is endowed with great fertility
In her artistic painting you will find no finer class of ability
Come wish them well on their shared path
And pray their hope objects will be well-endowed in art, and math!

Wayne:

Thank you good officiator, and most patient guests
I hope you will leave this occasion considering it a complete success
And thank you to my family, and my friends
Whose counsel throughout life many times, has helped me wend
My way to being the success object you see before you today!
Without your help I might have turned out a different way!

But thank you most of all to my dear Cathie
My love who agreed to share her life with me
Though my work, at times, keeps me busier than a bee
Thank you for agreeing to be my sex object
And for making the construction of a family our shared project

Were I offered to sell you for a billion dollars
That might be a good deal for me
But a million would not be enough
I am more practical than a honey-bee
That's why you want to marry me!

Cathie:

Thank you all for being here today
To witness me, and Wayne beginning a shared pathway
And thank you officiator, for your steadfast support
Through my, and Wayne's years of court*

But more than anyone else thank you Wayne
For helping me through both joy, and pain!
Though sometimes I can lash out with my tongue
And make you feel like you're about to be undone
Thank you for agreeing to be my success object
And to aid me in all my projects

Were I offered a billion dollars to divorce
I would likely readily accept it, of course
But a million would not be enough
I have brains, as well as beauty
That's why you want us two to marry!

Officiator:

Since you have made vows despite past strife
I now pronounce you to be man and wife!
Go now, and celebrate these days
One day you'll look back in a haze
And wonder where the time went!

*This refers to courtship, not to a place of settling disputes.

[Exit all]