Chapter 2-45

Saoirse, as it turned out, had observed my whole encounter with her sister. She didn’t add a great deal more information, though she did describe her chronic pain, and her anger issues. Even she could tell that her temperament was **** compared to those around her, though she has never known anything else. It seemed to her as though she had just been born angry, and given the mounting evidence of the Pure’s experiments, I wasn’t sure that might not be literally true.

Talking with her didn’t provide me with any new insights, however. I needed to examine her spirit, but that would still have to wait until I was healed. I was able to learn that Clan Ket had not investigated the ancient ruins in their territory to look for the Pure. The Metic taboo against exploring the ruins was not limited to the druids, apparently. The clan established settlements near such places, to keep an eye on them, but didn’t venture inside. And as Myta had rightly pointed out to me, they didn’t remember that the Pure had used such places before.

Myta set herself to narrowing down where the shifters of Clan Ket had disappeared from. Sati spoke with everyone, trying to build trust and relationships with the company and our allies alike. I suspected that she wanted to just, spend some time interacting with people who didn’t carry the baggage of Ramana’s court. Having interacted with the rune of hubris she bore, I was honestly surprised at how well she dealt with its influence. And, in retrospect, how quickly her attitude had shifted after our bond had been formed.

For my part, I trained with the company as Myta had suggested, offering them advice in honing their sorcery, both in and out of combat. I also spoke with the slaves we had liberated from the Pure, confirming that they all wished to train in combat. Cathel, the former Pure monk, was the one who finally brought the matter into perspective for me.

“No one wants to be helpless,” he noted to me. “And they do feel helpless, swept along in a current they don’t understand, and cannot fight. Even if you have promised to try and give them freedom, they are still bound right now, and caught between forces they can’t escape.”

“Put that way, I feel foolish not having seen it,” I replied. “And what about you?”

“I’m caught in the same currents,” came his answer. “But, I’ve been out of control for some time. The Pure Way was my life, and I served because I never saw another path. Mistress Sati may have clouded my mind, but she also opened my eyes. Now I get to choose which current I’m carried by.”

“You remember how she influenced you?”

“Of course!” He laughed. “She wasn’t subtle about it. Even at the time I could tell that she was influencing me. But the fact of the matter is that she told me nothing but the truth. I’d rather serve someone who works to build up those around them, rather than consuming them like kindling. You and Myta both care about your followers, something Entreyu never did.”

It struck me then, that his words were true. I’d been blind to the change in my perspective, but as Sati said the company had become my people now, my family. I had already been thinking of making a home in Metic, for myself and Myta of course, but also for our companions. I’d couched it in terms of practicality, vengeance, and guilt. But I had been planning for all of us to settle here for the long term.

Cathel left me alone with my thoughts, but Myta joined me shortly thereafter. I walked her through my personal revelation and she just nodded, unsurprised.

“Of course, master.” My flame smiled at me warmly. “You’ve taken responsibility for the company. You did that when they joined us in Bani. Why do you think they all came with us?”

“I suppose, I mean I didn’t think it through like this. In terms of all of us together, like family.” My flame snorted, her husky laugh building until it spilled entirely out of her control. She looked at my bemused expression, only to laugh even harder.

“Master,” she was still struggling to contain her giggles minutes later, and studiously avoiding looking at my face. “You have been looking for an excuse to adopt a new community since we met. Even before that, I suspect. You took me on without even a question at my aunt’s request. And though you made a show of your ****, you bound my spirit to yours without much of a second thought. You’ve adopted the entire company, and everyone knows it. Except, apparently, for you.”

We were seated on a wagon bench, and I pulled her hip tight against mine. She made an approving noise, and we spent some time just taking in one another’s comfortable closeness.

“Did Sati talk about what she is dealing with?” I asked finally.

“She did.” My first vas sounded concerned, but not upset. “What do you think the chances are that Rina is still alive?”

“I haven’t the faintest idea.” I shook my head “Her memory was remarkably clear, but she was younger then, and her emotions were running high. I didn’t have a sense for if the woman awakened, and even if she did, I have no idea if Ramana would have let her live. If she is alive, awakened or not, I don’t know how we’d find her.”

“We just take things as they come then.” Myta shrugged helplessly. “What more can we do?”

“And if she wants to leave? If she finds some hint of her old lover and decides to chase it?”

“I won’t stop her.” Myta gave me a quick, sad smile. “I wouldn’t want to stop her. She needs to find her own path, just like we all do.”

She paused, shooting me a suspicious glance. “You weren’t thinking I might run off with her, were you, master?”

“No,” I smiled at her annoyed tone. “I’m done thinking you’ll outgrow me any time soon. But I’m worried about you if she leaves.”

“We discussed it. She knows that I’m staying with you. And even if she goes we can still see each other when we sleep.” Her wistful expression cut at my heart, but I nodded. Better that they know now, than have a moment of decision thrust on them later.

We lapsed into silence, and I began to draw our presences around us. It was practice in manifesting my domain, but also I wanted to share the comforting sensation of closeness that it brought. With Myta right next to me, I was able to use the strength of her spirit to direct our mana, sparing my own.

After I’d taken on the rune of fire, Myta’s spirit had ceased to feel connected to mine. Instead it felt as though she was a part of me, an extension of my being. Our aspects flowed together without effort, a blending so perfect that I suspected I could shape and infuse fire without needing to transform my own aspect at all. Not that I’d dared to try yet, in my condition.

My flame took the reins from me, letting me focus on the mana. I pulled our presences right around us, and Myta sighted contentedly as she enjoyed my guiding hand. A bare moment later I felt Sati join us, as though our speaking of her had drawn her close already. The warmth of Myta’s love blended with the cool, feathery touch of the apsara’s grateful affection. It wasn’t just their aspects, or their mana. Our relationships settled comfortably together in a harmonious whole.

Myta and I were bound together deeply, not just by sorcery, by in our lives and purpose. She was mine, an extension of my will by her own choice. She had desires and goals of her own of course, but I wanted those for her. We each needed our own life and identity, so that we could support each other. Sati was a little more distant, drawn to us like a moth to a candle. Admiring the light, enjoying the heat, but afraid to get burned.

She loved the idea of us, but I could tell that she wasn’t sure of her own identity yet, much less her goals and dreams. Myta and I could help and support her, and the two of them were feeling a cautious few stirrings of something between them. Born of the understanding and empathy they shared, it was too tentative to be called love quite yet. Between Sati and I lay a budding respect and trust, in both directions. I couldn’t help but admire her remarkable resilience, in the face of all the manipulations she’d suffered under. I wanted to shelter her, and see how she’d grow.

Through my vas, I could sense smaller echos. Those with more distant links to me shone through like never before. I didn’t try to sift through them all, but I accepted their place in my life as well. They were my new family, who I would do my best to take cadre of, who I could trust in to support me in turn. Their mana trickled to me, spinning smoothly into our presence, a shifting, shimmering, opalescent cloud.

This was what I had been building toward, I knew it. It wasn’t the power of our spirits that had been missing, but the harmony of our souls. I layered the presence over Myta and myself, and in that moment I knew that I could share it with every one of my court.

But I didn’t know what would happen if I did that, and there was no reason to push. Instead I just condensed our shared presence around Myta and I, letting it permeate my being. Myta shivered in reaction as she too was suffused with our combined mana. It passed through our spirits as though our anima didn’t exist, with no pressure, no impact. I felt the moment when our domain maifested.

It was an instant of perfect rightness, where each of my senses felt enhanced and perfected, highlighting the instant of communion. Where others manifesting their domain came with a moment of disorientation, this was something snapping into place. As though I had a broken bone that had just been reset. I could feel Myta’s elation matching my own, even as she cringed in horror at seeing how ragged my spirit really was. I knew how many beads of sweat were on Myta’s brow, and could trace the individual grains of wood in the seat beneath me.

Cautiously, with as gentle a touch as I could manage, I tried to shape one of the hairs on my head. It was one of the least power intensive things I had learned to do with my sorcery. I disliked having long hair, and so I had altered it to stop growing past a certain length. It was the most versatile, and thus most dangerous facets of my aspect. I could change things toward a ‘superior’ state, and nearly any change could be seen as superior when looked at through the right lens. In practice it was more limited than it seemed at first blush, but I’d saved a great leap of time and effort on personal care over the years.

The hair I focused on shortened, the end of it falling away without even one iota of strain on my spirit. I made a few more, increasingly large changes just to verify. Our mana was expended, at about the rate I would normally expect, but as long as I kept the changes within our domain I felt no strain on my spirit at all.