He needs help.

Brad pored over the scripts as Monica watched. There were at least fifty; he saw labels like Cheerleader, ****, Concierge, Sex Worker, and Machine. He paused on one.

"What's Imitator?"

"That's a recent addition," Monica told him. "With imitator, she can simulate the personality of anyone you want. She can act like you, or me, or anyone else."

"How?" Brad said.

"Observation. She'll be blank at first, but the more she interacts with and observes her subject, the more of their traits she'll pick up. Would you like to use that one?"

"Nah," Brad said. "Too complicated right now. How about Helper?"

"Good choice!" Monica said. She took the script from him and approached the lifeless form crumpled on his sofa. She placed the script on its tongue and closed its mouth. Touching its forehead again, she uttered another word: "AKEDAH". It closed its mouth and suddenly its limbs tightened up again and its chest rose and fell with a breath. In a fluid motion, it stood and addressed Brad.

"Hi, Brad," she said cheerfully. "I'm your golem. What would you like to call me?"

"Daphne," he said immediately.

"Great!" she said, and extended a hand. "Nice to meet you."

He shook her hand with wonder and she chuckled. "It can be overwhelming to meet your golem for the first time. I'm here to serve, so take as long as you need to process this. Can I do anything for you right now?"

"Uh..." Brad was too stunned to reply. He had done his research and seen how different golems worked, but the actual experience of seeing a limp pile of loosely attached parts straighten up and speak to him as a person was completely disarming.

"Not right now," Monica said after a second. "I've just finished explaining how to change your scripts. Would you like to finish our demonstration?"

"Of course," Daphne said sweetly. "Do you understand how bind and unbind me from scripts, Brad?"

Brad nodded. She continued, holding up her right hand to show a green ring on her pinky. "Good. That covers how to animate and motivate me. You could think of those scripts as my 'software'. This ring is my hardware. I'm really just a lump of clay in the shape of a beautiful woman; this ring allows my clay to take on the properties of flesh and move autonomously. It has anchors that are buried in my finger and extend to my shoulder, because if it is ever removed I will instantly collapse into the pile of mud that I was made from."

"Got it," Brad said. "Don't ever take the ring off."

"Exactly," Monica said. "Without her ring she is nothing. But with her ring, she superhuman in many ways. Care to demonstrate, Daphne?"

Daphne smiled and turned around. She squatted and put her hands under the couch before effortlessly hoisting it into the air. She quickly put it back down, then turned back to him with a smile.

"Give me a number between one and one thousand."

"Five hundred and two," Brad answered after moment of thought.

"The prime factors of 502 are 2 and 251, its square root is approximately 22.40536, and its square is 252004," she replied immediately. "All of my scripts include a Turing-complete processing system, effectively giving me the capabilities of a CPU. Unfortunately, the R&D department hasn't found a way to make me Bluetooth compliant," she said with a wink.

Monica laughed, but Brad just stared at his golem. "Was that a joke? Can she make jokes?"

"Mr. Jensen, she can do just about anything you want. It can be unnerving to see her in her inert state, but make no mistake- her body and her scripts are the result of centuries of painstaking research. She was lovingly crafted just for you, to do anything you need. Yes, she can make jokes, cry, and even orgasm."

Brad was still staring open-mouthed at Daphne, who smiled courteously under his gaze. "So she's... just like a real person, huh?" he asked.

"Indistinguishable," Monica replied. "We guarantee that each of our golems can pass the Turing test in any context at any time. With the right script, she can be as human as you or me."

Daphne smiled at the compliment, but Brad narrowed his eyes. "You mean you think I wouldn't be able to tell? I mean, I know she looks real and sounds real, and you can make her crack jokes or have sex, but she still seems sort of artificial. You really think I wouldn't be able to tell she's a golem?

Monica and Daphne shared a knowing look. "Should we show him?" Daphne asked.

Monica nodded as she smoothed her skirt and sat down. "Go ahead."

Daphne gently pressed two fingers to Monica's forehead and spoke. "HITTIR."