Peggy visits Greenvalley

There was no love lost between the town of Pinkwhistle and the town of Greenvalley. In fact, the two towns hated each other, and took every opportunity to show it.

However, the two towns were also very close to each other, and so had to co-operate on public affairs from time to time. Which is why, one day, Mayor Peggy Jackson found herself outside the Greenvalley town hall, preparing to give a speech on regional tourism strategy. She looked out at the townsfolk before her, and took a deep breath. Tough crowd, but she'd seen tougher.

"Here's the thing," she said, looking down contemptuously at the sulky faces of the Greenvallians. Hundreds of them, and they'd all turned up in the hope that Mayor Peggy was going to make a fool of herself. Well, they hoped in vain. If there was one thing she definitely wasn't going to do, it was look ridiculous in front of Greenvalley.

"We all know our two towns don't exactly get along," she said, as the TV cameras whirred, broadcasting the event live to a local news website. "You're jealous of how pretty we are, and we don't like the way you smell. You're still mad about that time we put itching powder in your cheer team's underwear on the night of the big game, and we're still wondering if you guys are ever going to get over it. But at least we can agree on one thing."

She took a deep breath. "I look better in this dress than Mayor Betty does! Am I right, folks?"

Crickets chirped. Mayor Betty Swan, a sultry raven-haired pin-up of a politician, who happened to have shown up to the event in the exact same dress as Peggy, gave her a scowl. Peggy shrugged and said, "Well, I do. Anyway, let's hear it for Pinkwhistle, folks."

Total silence. At first.

But then, a funny thing to happen. People started to laugh. First a couple of schoolgirls in the front row of the crowd, then a big fisherman up the back. An auto mechanic. A magazine salesman. A sexy librarian. The guy who ran the general store. What was going on?

Peggy looked puzzled. She'd given hundreds of speeches in her career, but none exactly like this. The whole crowd was guffawing, pointing at her, cackling, wiping their eyes as tears of hilarity streamed down their cheeks. Even Mayor Betty was giggling, standing beside her with a strange gleam in her eye as she glanced over at Peggy. What was going on?

Peggy looked down.

"EEEEEEEEEK!"