Chapter 2-24

Momentarily at a loss for words, I returned the woman’s curt bow with a nod of my own. I hesitated for an awkwardly long time before responding

“I generally prefer Esur. Have you been handling military logistics for long?” She noticed the way my eyes lingered on the scarf and shifted it back, protectively, I thought.

“No,”she answered me. “I run a small trading company, and we deal with some of the clans who live near the border.” I noticed that she did not offer for me to call her Peta. Informality was apparently not in the table.

“Out of Seto then, not Ramana City?” The question came out without my thinking, and her eyes narrowed with suspicion.

“I lived there once,” she allowed. “That was some time ago. If you knew me then I’m afraid I don’t recall.”

I shook my head, but before I could answer the door burst open. Myta stormed in with her glaive manifest and her eyes blazing.

“Master?! What happened?” My flame whipped about, searching for threats. My blank shock must have read as danger to her.

The two women locked gazes, and I felt as though the world was grinding to a halt. Myta’s eyes carried only confusion and worry, perhaps just a dash of that same vague recognition I had felt. Petad, however, looked as though a blade had just pierced her chest. She shook her head slowly, sinking back into her chair.

Myta glanced between the two of us, growing increasingly anxious. Her rising panic shook me from my stupor.

“Nothing is wrong, my flame.” I took her hand. “Myta, this is Petad, our new quartermaster. Arranged for specifically, by King Ramana’s court, I expect.”

The woman in question nodded dumbly, unable to form words. Her disbelief was engraved on her features. I sympathized.

“Petad, Peta… mother?” I could feel Myta teetering between shock, happiness, and violent anger. With a healthy dose of grief as well. She needed a moment of separation from this encounter.

I stood, and pulled her to me, her glaive dispersing in the face of her turbulent emotions. I kissed her forehead, and ushered her back out of the door. Grabbing a nearby page, I bullied the boy into finding an isolated room for my love to rest alone.

“I’ll find out what happened.” I whispered to her, pressing our foreheads together. “Just focus on breathing slowly. I’ll talk to her.”

Myta nodded in acceptance, curling her knees to her chest as she sat on the floor of the storeroom we had found. I squeezed her again before heading back to the office.

Petad had regained her composure, though her eyes were red and I could see the remains of tears on her cheeks. She glared at me with something akin to hatred, a defense I’d seen before.

“My daughter is dead!” She didn’t quite shout, and her tone was suspended somewhere between angry and questioning. “She’s been dead for years!”

“You never saw her body.” I stated with certainty. “Myta’s father took her out into the snow one night, and he returned with a bloody scarf. That scarf, you still keep on you.”

“Anyone who knew me from the capital knows that story.” She shook her head in denial.

“But I didn’t. We’ve never met, although I know your sister. Pedu convinced me to take Myta on and heal her. I have no reason to stage this. I doubt you have anything I want or need.”

“Pedu… she was working for that **** trader. Geri. We stopped speaking years ago.” Her eyes, which had gone distant, snapped back to me. “She called you master.”

I nodded at her accusing tone. “Myta is bound to me. It is a long and unlikely story. I will share it with you, but first I need to confirm. Myta’s father disappeared, perhaps two or three years ago?”

“Five. Five years ago. He left me with nothing but a pile of debt and another broken promise.” Her voice had a depth off bitterness that few would understand.

“That timing is odd, from what I know. But you managed to create a new business. Your own merchant company?”

“I knew his contacts, and what was left of his merchandise. It took me four years, but I’ve finally paid his debts. I thought maybe this contract was a blessing.” She laughed without mirth. “A reward for my struggle.”

“It still could be,” I said gently. “I’ll leave it to her to tell her story, but Myta was hurt. Badly hurt. What she told me of her father, it seems that he hated her, and that he felt she wasn’t his. He spoke of her real father, at times?”

“A misunderstanding,” she scoffed. “A deliberate misunderstanding. Our family had roots in Metic, old family ties. Among the clans, the touched are revered, and if a spirit lends their aspect to a child, they are seen as a third parent.”

“So he used that to separate himself from her. To isolate her.” I understood. From what little I’d seen of the man in visions, he seemed exactly the sort to use any excuse to dehumanize others. Which just left one question. “So why did you allow it?”

That question seemed to break her resolve, and in an instant, the stern and angry merchant turned into a sobbing woman. A defeated mother. I walked around the desk and put a steadying hand on her shoulder. Not looking to comfort her, exactly, but hoping to steady her.

“I was young, and foolish. Pedu warmed me against him. But he was… very charismatic. He took me away from the town I grew up in, and I was surrounded by his friends, who only spoke well of him. I believed them, believed him, and his confidence.” She closed her eyes and took a shuddering breath.

“When I began to question, I kept finding reasons to doubt myself. It seemed like he might be losing money on his business ventures, but somehow there was always more. He would sometimes insult me, but always in a tone as if it were a sweet thing to say, something to help me. When Myta was first born, I was so used to ignoring his flaws that I blinded myself to how ugly he was.”

“I have no real excuse,” she finally shrugged, staring blankly at the wall. “Only after his business collapsed did I find the strength to question him. By then it was too late. Myta was gone shortly after, and then I was trapped. Trapped by grief, and the laws of the city. Only after he disappeared was I able to begin recovering.”

“Thank you for sharing with me.” I squeezed her shoulder, and this time I did mean to comfort her. “I will talk to Myta, and I am certain she will understand. She will understand unfortunately well. When she is ready, she’ll probably want to speak with you again. Do you want to see her?”

Silent sobs stole her voice, but she nodded. I left the room, and had a pitcher of cold water and a soft cloth taken in to her. Myta was still in the room where I’d left her. She had witnessed the whole encounter through my senses.

I sat on the floor beside my flame, wrapping my arm around her as she rocked in place. Still with her arms around her knees. We didn’t say anything for a long time.

“I want to be angry.” She finally said. “It’s foolish. Up until now I thought I wanted her support. But now I just want to blame her, and I can’t.”

“Being angry is simple,” I replied. “It’s clean. But real life is rarely simple or clean. Your mother loved you, and she was foolish. She tried to take care of you, but she failed to even take care of herself. She’s suffered, and punished herself already for her mistakes. And none of this means that you have to trust or forgive her.

“But remember what I told you once about hate. It’s poison. You don’t have to try and treat her as though the past didn’t happen. You shouldn’t even try. But take her as she is, not as some idealized hero or villain. She’s just a person, like you or me.”

Myta nodded, leaning into me hard before pulling away to stand. Her emotions were still turbulent, but calming slowly. I could feel her decision, and her resolve. We walked back to the office in contemplative silence.

“Do you want me to go in with you?”

“No, master. Thank you, I… think I need to see her alone.”

“I understand.” I kissed her forehead, and then tangled my fingers in her hair. Some of the tension left her shoulders as she pulled against my grip and met my gaze.

“I’m here, if you need anything my love. I’m right here.” She closed her eyes and gave me a smile that was small, but warm.

“I know,”” she whispered.

I walked away as she opened the door, looking for some distraction. I didn’t think Myta would mind terribly if I overheard their conversation through our bond, but I thought she and her mother deserved some privacy. Our link was so strong however, that just my curiosity might cause me to eavesdrop.

I found my distraction easily enough, in the form of Sati and Hati, who were currently yelling urgently at the poor man at the front desk. I moved swiftly to intervene, calming their worries somewhat. Hati grimaced when I mentioned that Myta was seeing her mother for the first time in years, clearly understanding how fraught such an interaction could be. Sati seemed unsure, but willing to accept our assurances.

She seemed to feel her lack of understanding keenly, feeling badly excluded. I hadn’t ever thought to ask her about her own mother, and cursed myself for it now.

“Hati, male sure that you are available at our lodgings in case anyone in the company needs assistance.” I said. “Myta will likely be occupied for a while. Sati, you stay with me for now. I’ve been neglecting you for a while, and now is as good a time as any to correct that.”

Hati saluted and headed off to do as I bid. While Myta commanded them, the company had no qualms about taking direction from me as well. Sati followed me as I wandered a bit, looking for a more subdued place to talk. We ended up walking into a grove of trees on the outskirts of the city, and I took a moment to appreciate the fresh, cool scent of the forest.

“Your father was the only real parental figure you had, I take it?” I kept my question simple, my tone gentle.

“Yes.” Sati laughed, and it was the most discordant sound I’d ever heard her make. “If you can call him that. My mother was one of his concubines. He rewards those who bear his children well, and she left after I was weaned.”

“We are similar in that way then,” I replied. “The Mithali temple was the only home I ever knew as a child. We wanted for nothing, except family. So we made our own.”

“Made your own?” Sati sounded thoughtful. “I think I understand. And I want that. Maybe I need it.”

“Which brings me to what I really wanted to talk to you about.” I said. “Things between Myta, you, and I have been headed in an increasingly sexual, even romantic direction. And It’s time to talk about how far you want to pursue that. What you’re looking for from us.”

“In that direction? I suppose oral doesn’t count?” She laughed, but at my blank stare she paled, Al least as much as her dark skin allowed. “You don’t remember… what do you remember of the night my passion possessed you?”