Dude, Where's my Tomb

“Where’s my Tomb, dude?” Ryan asked impatiently.

“I’m telling you, this is the spot you marked on the map” I responded for the second time.

“But there were animal head-pot-things and a casket and everything!”

I sighed. The quality of students the professor had been assigning to me had completely collapsed recently. Three hours ago Ryan wandered off and then came running back going on about some discovery.

“Fuck” Ryan shouted, kicking an odd shaped rock.

A strange passageway opened in the side of the corridor. They both stared at each other in shock before Ryan ran right in to look at the discovery.

What they found inside was not in any textbook. A room full of strange alien technology, a skeleton lay on the floor partially crushed. On the table in front of him was some sort of console. It looked like it had been partially connected.

Ryan picked up the cable and immediately plugged it straight in. “Nooo,” I screamed out, pushing him away from the console, but the cables connected and… nothing happened.

“Dude, what the fuck?” said Ryan as he got to his feet.

“You can’t just go around messing with…”

“And what are we going to do? Stand here for an hour deciding what to do with it?”

That was actually a good point. Could we have just ignored the obvious thing to try that would get us some answers?

“I suppose you're right Ryan, look sorry I. OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT THING ON YOUR NECK!” I screamed as I saw a small metallic spider bury its way into his neck.”

But before I knew it I felt something on my neck too! A sharp pinch then something wiggling to my spine. Then the feeling was gone.

“Wait. Was this on before?” Ryan said looking at the console which had now lit up.

Neurolinguistic interface established.

*Debugging display online*

*N1: Human male*

*N2: Human male*

*Priority Objective: Repair technocore*

*Optimal Strategy: Religious Appeal*

“What the hell does that mean?” said Ryan as we both realised there was someone standing behind us.

We turned around and there stood an Egyptian goddess.

“Mortals, I am the goddess Isis, thou art sworn to serve me, are you not? Wouldst thou repair my sanctum?” The “goddess” spoke noticeably in perfect English.

“Yeah, we don’t believe in those anymore,” I said, turning back to the console.

*Strategy failed.*

*Subjects: males in late adolescence*

*New Optimal strategy: Hyperstimulate Mating instinct*

“Fine, I’m not really a goddess, but I am a hot chick. I can definitely offer you boys something you want.” Her previously modestly sized boobs promptly inflated to EE cups.

“Nice, but today I could see five bigger sets on the internet whenever I want.” Ryan said, turning away again.

*New intelligence acquired, Humans surpassed stage 3 civilisation.*

*Updating tactics.*

“But can your virtual women give you oral pleasure?” Isis asked, seductively cupping her tits.

Ryan’s interest peaked and turned his attention back to the projection.

“No, and neither can you, we know you are just a projection in our heads. You can’t touch anything” I said, trying to ignore her and focus on the technology in the room. In the hand of the skeleton on the floor, a glinting crystal catches my eye. I’ll try and grab it when I have an opportunity. I’m hoping the AI can’t read my thoughts.

“That’s where you are wrong sweetie. I can touch you boys.” She walked forward and put the back of her hand against my cheek, when it made contact I felt real skin, in fact my nerves seemed to explode as if it was the most sensuous contact I had ever had. “I can make your sensual experience incredibly pleasurable.”

My nose was assaulted with an overpowering scent of lavender and incense.

“Or I can make you extremely uncomfortable,” she continued.

“ARRRGH” I screamed as my hand suddenly felt like it was dropped in a furnace. But a moment later the pain was gone! I checked my hand but it was completely undamaged.

The image of Isis walked over to Ryan, as her hand passed through his jeans a tent promptly formed.

“Now all you have to do is move a box and connect some cables. Can you do that for me?” Isis asked seductively.

“Sure,” Ryan meekly agreed while clearly staring down her cleavage.

While she was distracted I dropped down and picked up the thing in the skeleton’s hand. It was a long transparent crystal attached to a chain. I quickly pocketed it and glanced at the debug console.

*Immediate goal: Acquire ZP-battery for reactor initialization.*

The woman disappeared and then we heard her voice on the other side of the room. “Open this cabinet and take one of the boxes to the central console.” She instructed.

We ran over but she was pointing to empty space above a pile of rubble.

“What cabinet?” I asked.

“The battery retainer is destroyed?” she asked.

“Looks like it, there’s just a pile of slabs”

Isis paused for a moment. Clearly she wasn’t reading our thoughts and couldn’t see the room I realised. Eventually she spoke.

“You two human boys should be strong enough to move the retainer remains.”

Between us we were able to move the two slabs of rumble. Underneath there were several alien looking boxes with terminals although most had been shattered with strange liquid pouring out of them. After carefully shifting a few away we found an intact one.

“There’s one left,” I said.

“Take it to the desk,” Isis said.

The battery was far heavier than expected but between the two of us we were able to bring it to the desk.

“Disconnect the debug terminal and then connect the battery through the same connections and then you will have your oral pleasure.”

I disconnected the debug terminal and the ISIS image disappeared. The device was completely powered down.

“She’s gone, let’s get out of here,” I said relieved.

“But dude, our oral pleasure.” Ryan said

“Don’t be a moron, we don’t know what it’s going to do with us. We should go while we can.” I said, exacerbated.

“Fuck that, we can turn it off whenever we want. I want oral pleasure” he said as he connected the battery.

The image of Isis reappeared, much happier than before. I had a sinking feeling in my stomach, if the debug console was still connected I could at least have some idea what is going on.

“You boys upheld your side so I will grant you oral pleasure.” The image said.

“Yes” screamed Ryan, dropping his pants and sitting on the table. His large cock already looked painfully erect.

The image of Isis split in two and one went and knelt before Ryan while the other came towards me and knelt. Despite the fact I hadn’t taken my pants off I felt a warm mouth envelope my cock and despite myself I grew uncomfortably hard.

Her “tongue” seemed to be able to probe and hyperstimulate my cock in a delicious way.

“Fuck yeah” Ryan gasped, he started panting very hard, clearly getting really into it. The image enveloped his cock between her enlarged tits and appeared to be sucking it with lips that also seemed larger, probably to hyperstimulate Ryan’s preferences.

In spite of myself I groaned as the stimulation picked up in pace. There wasn’t anything I could do to stop it at this stage so I leaned into it. This truly was the best blowjob I had ever had and I tried to relax and enjoy it.

Eventually Ryan groaned “FUUUUCK” and his cum exploded out the back of the head of the Isis image and fell to the sandy floor.

“URGH!” It proved too much for me and I came too. I had still not taken off my pants so now I was stuck with cum stained pants.

The image led Ryan to the desk area as some box upon it seemed to spontaneously open.

“Take this and point it here,” she told him pointing to his right pec. “Don’t worry it won’t hurt.”

Ryan took out something that looked like a gun and put it on his chest and pulled the trigger all while just staring at her doe-eyed. There was a loud snap sound and a strange scar appeared on his pec.

“What the fuck are you doing?” I shouted as I rushed towards him.

“Relax, it’s just an endocrine regulator,” the Isis image said. “It will keep him healthy. And if you boys come back tomorrow I promise you more pleasure.” And with that she vanished.

“Right, let's get out of here” I said.

Ryan glanced down at my pants. “OK.”