A little clarity

When they pulled into the garage, Doug stopped Scott from going in the house.

“Hey, Scott, come on, talk to me.”

“What do you want to know?”

“God you’re an ass. What do you think I want to know? How did it go with Mary?”

“She’s great, says I need to sort my shit out.”

Doug paused for a second. “I mean, she’s not wrong.”

“Fuck you, Doug.”

“No, seriously Scott, you’ve been through a lot and you come home and you have a bunch of women after you, you really should take some time and figure out what you want.”

“What women Doug? Suzie? She’s the only one showing any real interest.”

“What about Jenn?”

“We’re friends Scott, everyone always thinks there’s more there but there isn’t, she’s made that clear.”

“What the fuck are you talking about? She’s been crazy about you since I met you guys in 9th grade, I had to listen to her cry for a solid year after you left. And seriously, how many boys has she dated?”

“Dude, she made it clear, long time ago.”

“Wait, when did this happen?”

“You weren’t here, 12 years old she shot up, got tits and she looked older than she was. The guys went crazy for her, she had 16-year-old boys hitting on her, and our entire friend group fell apart. Nick, Davey, Jimmy, they would ask her out, she’d turn them down, and they’d lose their shit and ruin the friendship.”

Doug just stood there listening.

“I was into her too, man, crazy about her. We were hanging out all the time, she had no one at home, I didn’t want to go home, we’d spend all day together. We spent the summer trying to rebuild this old bike Bob let us mess with, we were never apart. When Jimmy asked her out and she turned him down, he spread stuff around about her. It crushed her. It was just the two of us man, neither of us had other friends. One day she breaks down crying, devastated, she’d lost all her friends, she was being hit on by older boys and grown ass men who didn’t care she was a fucking 13-year-old child. I’ll never forget it man, she’s bawling and tells me I’m all she has left, that nobody else even cared about her. She hated losing all her friends, the girls were nasty to her, the boys just wanted to tell everyone they kissed or fucked her.”

Doug nodded, “Yeah, I remember how fucked up it was when we moved here.”

“So she’s crying, looks up at me, tear streamed face, I’m losing my mind, I want to kill people, I want to hug her, I’m a mess, right? She asks me to please never do that to her, she couldn’t take it.”

“Okay, damn.” Doug says.

“That moment I’m like, hell itself will not get me to betray her trust. I couldn’t do that to her.”

They stood for a moment in silence. Scott really wishing he had something to smoke.

“Okay, I get it man, that’s a crazy moment. But, like, people grow up, Jenn isn’t 13 anymore.”

“But almost every year after that she’d tell me how glad she was that we were friends, that she could trust me and I didn’t try stuff when she was drinking or **** like the other guys would, I wasn’t just friends with her to try and get with her. I mean, she did it three weeks before I left. I remember it like it was yesterday.”

“Okay, I can see where you are coming from.” Doug’s brow was furled, he was trying to pick his words carefully.

“And now everyone seems to think Jenn and I are a thing. We’ve never been a thing.”

“Scott, hear me out. That moment had a huge impact on you, and I think you’ve let that moment color everything since. Like maybe she’s trying to tell you that you are a great friend and she might want more, and all you are hearing is reinforcement that you are just friends.”

“Yeah, I should treat her telling me that she doesn’t want me to ever see her as more than a friend as exactly the opposite. Do you have my membership card to the asshole club ready for me, or do I need to formally apply?”

“Yeah. . .” Doug said, scowling. “Look man, I understand your side, I get it. But I’ve heard her side too, and it’s a very different story.”

“Let me guess, I left and she’s all ‘you don’t know what you got till it’s gone.’”

“No, she’s been into you for a long time Scott, she just didn’t know if you were into her.” Doug laughed, “God you guys are perfect for each other, you are both dense and neither of you communicate.”

Scott’s head felt like it was on fire. He had shut down that part of himself a long time ago, he didn’t let himself think about Jenn that way. If he had known she was into him he wouldn’t have run off like he did, it would have been so different.

“You okay Scott?”

Right then his phone buzzed.

Chinese Buffet at 11:30. Be there or eat hair.

Scott laughed, that took him way back.

“Shit Doug, I don’t have time for this, I need to meet Lydia in 30 minutes.”

“Really? You ready for that?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

“Are you serious?”

“That was four years ago Doug, I’m over it. I knew I’d have to deal with it when I came back.”

“Well take care, and if you need backup, let me know.”

“I’ll be fine.”

Scott ran in and changed into jeans and one of his Army T-shirts, splashed some cologne on and grabbed his helmet.

Doug was still standing in the basement, watching him.

“Dude, I’m sorry, I’m so caught up in my own head, we haven’t even talked about Marissa, you guys seeing each other again?”

“Yeah, we’re going out tonight.”

“You guys are moving quick; I mean, she already won over your mom. You ready for this?”

“I don’t know man, she’s just, she’s perfect you know?”

“I’m happy for you man, but be careful, try to go slow, trust me.”

“Yeah, I hear you.”

“Alright, we’ll talk more when you get back tonight, okay?”