Commander Jane's Ordeal Part 1: Mission prep, by RejectTed

“Oh, it’s Ted again!”

“Good for you, Gina”

“Meh, it’s still not the pirate story, so I’m not that excited.”

“So, would you say you are only at half mast?”

“Yes...I mean fuck you!”

“Gina, please do not get too tied up because we are back to Bondage in Space again.”

“Hmm..I guess that one was kinda cool. Natalia was great.”

“But alas, Ted being the never ending source of disappointment he is, we are not reading about Natalia but another new hero. The titular Commander Jane's Ordeal Part 1: Mission prep, by RejectTed"

“Uhu.”

“But before we start, I have an important issue that needs to be addressed first.”

“Yes, Marcie?”

“Do we put this as a follow up or as a new story?”

“…”

“I mean, it is technically a new story but it it still belongs to the Bondage in space greater universe so…”

“I DON’T CARE START THE FUCKING STORY ALREADY!”

READING IN PROGRESS (BGM)

“OUCH!”

“Gina?”

“I felt physical pain reading this, what the fuck?”

“Hm yes, up until now I would have said Ted is on the rather mellow side of BDSM but this one ended up being pretty brutal.”

“I bet engin the kinky bitch would actually enjoy this, even share’s the same name.”

“I do not know, I think it had too much sexual **** and less **** **** for her to like.”

“Whatever, so anyways. This is about Commander Jane Pegasus, who goes on an undercover mission to save some politician from a bunch of slavers.”

“Pegasus, hm? I am not a fan. Whenever I hear the name Pegasus I think of that one villain from Yu-gi oh.”

“…”

“And what is it with the way Ted denotes every chapter with Part 1, Part 2 et cetera. It is rather tedious.”

“Do you think you can do this review without bitching every second, Marcie?”

“I can try.”

The young commander let out another sigh; she was growing tired of justifying this mission. Yes, it was unorthodox and dangerous, but so was slingshoting around that pulsar last month, and half the other missions she'd led the crew of The Pale Horse on. "These slavers," Jane paused, trying to remember the budding organization's name. "The Galactic Shackle," she managed to blurt out before Wynn reminded her. "They **** Councilwoman Amare eight days ago. Securing the fastest hyper-lanes has only bought the agency six more days to find her. After that she'll be in the hands of The Sirus Syndicate." Jane paused for a moment, but saw no reason to spare the bookish officer from the truth. "Do you think they'll be gentle to the woman that cost them Alcyne Sector?"

“Clumsy.”

“Oh, fuck off!

“What? This sort of “as you know” exposition is the most clumsiest of the bunch! You can not fault me for pointing it out!”

“Yeah, yeah. Ted wrote this...what three years ago? That’s the earliest stuff we covered from him.”

“It sure shows.”

“Oh piss off, Marcie. Anyways Jane wants to do this undercover mission by becoming a **** herself, which sounds like the dumbest idea ever, like seriously.”

“Her crew agrees, specially one Dr. Ocelot. Hmm...Ocelot, is it? Incidentally, that is one of Gina’s pet names.”

“Don’t remind me of that.”

“But I digress, Dr. Ocelot offers to train Jane in the art of being a ****, so she can stomach the immense amount of stress put on her. Jane agrees.”

Part 2: Training Beggins

"In typical Ted fashion, he adds letters to words that do not need them, creating anti puns in the process."

“What the fuck does that even mean, Marcie?”

“Beats me. Ted is the one with the lame puns. Beggins. Come on. Beg-ins! It writes itself!"

“It sure begins alright, the Dr. doesn’t hold back. The bitch immediately puts Jane through the wringer.”

“Never mind Dr. Ocelot. This is more a Dr. Aconic!”

“Ugh.”

“Alright, I know that it is very early on but the direction the story takes here really does not sit well with me.”

“…”

“Do you not want me to explain why, Gina?”

“Not really.”

“Ask me to explain. Politely.”

“Ugggghhh! Please explain why, Marcie!”

“After a few scant chapters the line if this is still mere training blurs. Certainly by the point were Jane is paraded out to service her crew.

Even while she crawled to clean up her spill, Jane was not safe from the groping and mauling.

“Don’t you fucking dare, Marcie.”

“No can do, Gina. I must inform these lesser writers that the word maul is only ever reserved for a particular viciousness of nature. That of one creature whose pure strength completely eclipses another.”

“I FUCKING MAUL YOU!”

“And here I already made a Darth Maul joke at another review. It would have been even more fitting here, tsk.”

“Get on with it.”

“Alright, alright, anyways. My problem with the setup here.”

“Yes, please.”

“We, as readers, are supposed to second guess how much of this is real. Is the good Doctor just putting up a really convincing performance or has she and the vast majority of the crew actually sold out Jane?”

“Yeah, isn’t that a good thing? Tension and shit?”

“Not when said tension involves the “it was all dream” trope.”

“Oh come on, Marcie! That one was obvious!”

“It just….you know, it is hard to explain why exactly this dilemma fell flat for me.”

“You don’t have to if it troubles you that much.”

“I think it is like this: I wanted the focus to be on the mission. But because of this niggling in the back of my mind I was constantly second guessing everything. Was Jane actually sold to slavers or is this all just still pretend in order to train her? Is she actually on a **** ship fighting erotic gladiator battles or is she just experiencing a super advanced video game depicting it?”

“A fucking video game, Marcie? Really?”

This is science-fiction, there are a tons of possible explanation for even the most outrageous outcome.”

“This is why I hate sci-fi.”

“I just could not get invested because of that little Asterisk. Is that so weird, Gina? You yourself said the same.”

“You couldn’t get invested because you’re a moaning bitch. I couldn’t get invested because of the horrific breast and cunt **** Jane was put through. We are not the same.”

“Hmm...I guess we have to talk about the sex scenes. Because one thing you can not fault this story for is a lack of sex scenes.”

“I mean, it’s just a bunch of shit about Jane getting abused! Like it’s creative and all but way too brutal for my taste!”

“Funnily enough, I believe we complained with the last Ted story that it was too soft.”

“I don’t get it, why is Ted keep getting it wrong? The Pirate story was fine. I also liked the other stuff with Natalia. He just flip flops between two extremes!”

“Well, as you pointed out, this is one of his older works.”

“Meaning he got softer the older he got which is good. But then he got too soft!”

“This fruit is even below me on the low hanging fruit tree.”

“What about you, Marcie? There was humiliation in there. You like that stuff.”

“I was too busy second guessing what was real and what not to care about my arousal.”

“You’re still going on about that?”

“As it turns out in the end it was real. Well, somewhat. The slavers were real. But Dr. Ocelot did not sell her commander out. Because of this, Jane manages to rescue the VIP and brought the slavers to justice.”

“Which was about the only time Jane actually kicked ass. She’s nowhere near as cool as Nat though.”

“She was a bit of a wimp. I prefer some more fight in my submissive. Amare for example showed quite a bit more bite.”

“Or hell, even Lilith.”

“Anyways, the conclusion was a bit, eh. I get what Ted was going for but the execution did not quite stick the landing.”

“For fuck’s sake, can you say anything positive?”

“I mean, it’s not like you were a glowing aura of sunshine and gumdrops in this review either, Gina.”

“I just said I liked Lilith!”

“Hmm...I liked the world building. I am not sure how much of it is actually part of the setting and what Ted just made up at the spur of the moment. But he has some talent for it. The world, or rather universe felt quite large.”

“Geez, Marcie praised Ted, how swell.”

“Let us not exaggerate here. All in all this story was not terrible, objectively speaking I mean.”

“Just too fucking painful to read.”

“On the bright side, that also means Ted got better as a writer as time went one. Slightly. And I believe on that positive note we can end this review.

“Next time give us the pirate story, you fuck!”