Bride of Bowser

"And do you, Princess Peach Toadstool, take this Koopa as your lawfully wedded husband?"

A pregnant silence fills the chapel of Castle Toadstool for a few seconds as you close your eyes and draw a deep breath.

"I do."

The tension in the room subsides somewhat as you feel your soon-to-be-husband's massive form shift to face you in anticipation. Even without looking at him, you can tell he has that same toothy, malicious grin he's been wearing since your diplomats arranged to meet and talk terms a week ago. He'd pounced on the opportunity so quickly that you started to suspect the whole 'colossal, insurmountable, hopelessly-impossible-to-defeat' invasion **** of his might not have been all that, but when you saw the looks on your soldiers' faces after announcing the arrangement, you knew it was the right call. They would have kept fighting for you as long as you'd asked-some of them even called out begging you not to do it- but beyond the sense of disgust and failure, you could see how most of them felt: relieved. Relieved at the prospect of no longer fighting an eternal war with a seemingly unending horde of suicidally-loyal Koopas. Relieved, if a bit guilty, knowing that the whole Mushroom Kingdom would not fall under his tyrannical rule- just you.

"If there be anyone present who may show just and lawful cause why this couple may not be legally wed, let him speak now or forever hold his peace."

Everyone in the room turned to Mario, who gripped his overalls and grit his teeth, but said nothing. He'd been apoplectic when you told him about the arrangement, saying it was a terrible mistake and insisting he would defeat Bowser again, just as he'd done countless times in the past. You explained to him that he was missing the point, that the kingdom couldn't carry on much longer and that for all the good Mario had done, he was never able to stop Bowser from coming back and causing chaos. That seemed to strike a sore spot, but after hours of arguing, Mario had finally relented. You'd hoped he wouldn't cause a scene, but with the moment finally here, you can't help but feel a little disappointed at his silence.

Sliding the ring onto Bowser's massive finger takes a bit more effort than you expected, eliciting a breathy chuckle from the beast that sends shivers down your spine. He does the same with yours, gripping it with the tips of his claws and sliding it onto your finger with surprising gingerness.

"You may now kiss the bride."

Without hesitation, he grips your head with a enormous clawed hand, drawing gasps of shock and panic from the crowd before he presses his huge lips to yours, sliding his tongue along your lower face before releasing you and letting out a booming roar of laughter. The Koopalings and all of Bowser's guests join in, howling with laughter and clapping as Mario's face turns the same color as his hat. The officiator shouts over the din.

"With the power vested in me by the kingdom of Toadstool, I now prounce you Koopa and wife!"

You make your way down the aisle and out of the chapel, feeling Bowser's heavy footsteps and breath behind you all the way. You can also feel his stare.