Audrey can’t say no.

Huh? What kind of message was that? Surely it should be nebulous promises of fabulous riches, or something like that, or even just “try again”. That was a weird message. Who the fuck was Audrey anyway? John couldn’t even think of someone called Audrey. Frowning slightly at the strange message, John shook the ball again and looked. Audrey can’t say no stared back at him. Three more attempts convinced him the ball was broken and this was the only message it was going to tell him. Annoyed slightly, even though he knew it to be cheap trash, he tossed it in his wastepaper basket then got ready for work.

John had recently started a new job that he knew he was out of his depth in. He had lied profusely in his resume and again at the interview and now that he had landed the post of Principal Accountant at the Hollander Investment Bank he realised that he had no idea how to do the job. As he got into the elevator mildly panicking on his way to the office, an attractive redhaired girl jumped in beside him. The elevator being small, their **** proximity momentarily distracted John from his predicament and he tried to work out a way of staring at her boobs in the mirror without being too obvious.

The girl got out a floor before John, and was greeted by members of her own office “Hi Audrey, have a nice weekend?”

“Yeah – I did actually Seb, we went to”, John caught and then the doors closed on his astonished expression. John almost banged on the doors in frustration.

For the next couple of hours, the coincidence of the name on the 8-ball and the hot red haired girl burned at him, and he could take it no longer. He got back in the elevator and descended a floor before wandering the corridors. There were undoubtedly a lot of hot looking girls working for the bank. John had often wondered if it was some kind of recruitment policy to only hire 9s or above and then insist that they wear the tightest office wear possible.

After a couple of laps of the building, John was about to give up when he saw her! Standing, chatting inanely to another employee was Audrey at the office tea machine.

As he approached her, the elation of the success of his hunt began to dissipate and he realized that he had absolutely no idea what he was going to say to her. “Hey you, this crappy magic 8-ball thingy I got suggested something that I’ve started to believe means you would suck my dick!” probably wasn’t a good idea. Audrey and her friend both turned to face him as he approached.

John cleared his throat and said the first thing that came into his mind.