50% of all marriages end in My genitals

"I guess I'll pick---" the cheery coed drew it out grinning from ear to ear, before pointing at her chosen card, "My genitals, hahaha?"

"Yus, that card is mine," Natalie jumped in her seat, fist pumping in the air. "In your face suckahs," she laughed, only to abruptly realize she was the only one.

The atmosphere of the room was quite chilly.

Kim K. let out a quiet sob. And Moggie and Hector for their parts just stared at the carpet.

I shook my head. "Not cool, Natalie."

"What? What'd I do?" The latina asked, confused.

Hector looked up at her, nostrils flaring, his face turning red. "Made an insensitive joke," he said angrily.

Moggie joined in,"Too soon."

"I'm glad you think my parents' marriage is something to joke about," Kim K. spat, tears rolling down her face.

Natalie looked back and forth, bewildered and still not getting the message. "Your parents' marriage?"

"Yeah, we're intimately well aware she's a homewrecker, but you don't have to bring it up FOR POINTS IN A CARD GAME!" Kim K. shouted.

"What are you talking about?" Natalie just never knew when to quit.

"Have you been living under a rock?" I asked dumbfounded. "Kim K's parents are getting a divorce because," I whispered the last part, "--her dad slept with Illy."

"WHAT?" Natalie was agog.

"Slept with my dad, too," said Hector.

"And my, well not my dad, but," Moggie stuttered through his confession, "she finger-banged my mom, I guess."

Natalie was white as a sheet, "Illy? Our Illy?" She stifled a shocked laugh.

"YES," we all shouted. "How do you not know this?" I reprimanded.

"And I'm still super sorry about it, you guys," Illy hung her head in shame.

Kim K sighed, "It's not your fault, Illy."

"Yeah, you didn't know," added Hector. "How could you?"

"My parents are gonna stay together," said Moggie, "it's been rough, but they're going to see if they can work things out."

"It's not gonna happen, my guy," Hector shook his head, "once they have a taste of Illy's pussy, there's no going back."

"I still just...can't believe..." questioned Natalie. "Like seriously Illy, how could you sleep with all their parents?"

"I uhh, I don't know, they're just so nice to me," Illy shrugged. Her phone was vibrating from her designer purse, and smiling apologetically she reached to answer it.

"Hello...Oh hi Mr. Morrison, I mean, hello Daddy," Illy said in a husky voice,"You're at the Motel 6?....Chocolate strawberries AND handcuffs?"

She stood up, excitedly playing with the threads of her black fishnet tights, her pink tongue tracing the top of her lips.

"Has she been wearing those the entire night?" Asked a distraught Natalie.

Illy flounced about in her glitzy fuck-me-pumps, giggling at Mr. Morrison's continued flirting. For a moment, I even got a look up her miniskirt, realizing the fishnets went all the way up and she wasn't wearing underwear underneath.

"Mmm, well how can a baby girl say no to an offer like that?" the blonde winked at me, clearly realizing I had gotten an eyeful of the pussy that wrecked so many homes. Illy put a hand over the receiver and whispered,"sorry Jayleen, you're just not my type." I blushed hard.

"What's that Daddy M? No I'm jus’ owt pwaying with fwiends tonight," Illy baby-talked. "Baby Illy so sowwy. But how about we plan for something Monday, will she be still out of town then?...Okay great, well talk to you soon...bye Daddy, kiss kiss." And with that she hung up the phone, looking around the room sheepishly.

"Did you have to take that call here?" growled Kim K. "For real," said an equally pissy Hector.

"This is still just so weird," added Natalie. "Seriously, Illy, you're sleeping with how many people?"

"Oh a few, I guess..." so saying Illy's phone started to light up and buzz in rapid succession, a stream of texts and booty calls filling her notifications, some even in languages I didn't recognize.

"Sorry I should really turn this off," Illy apologized sweetly, this time giving everyone an eyeful of her perky white tush, the fish nets digging in while she bent at the waist to put away her phone.

"Gah," exclaimed Kim K, covering her eyes. "Jesus, put some pants on."

"What, it's just a butt," giggled Illy over her shoulder, "everyone has one." And as if to demonstrate she began to wiggle her hips, letting her naughty fishnets sway across her round little cheeks. The teenage serial mistress smiled seductively.

"Who's turn is it?" I asked still watching Illy's fanny out of the corner of my eye. "Oh that's right, Kim K., let's move on. Everyone else redraw, and Kim pick a black card."

"Sounds great," Kim K. said with a note of finality.

This got the boys' attention who started looking at their cards, and drew Natalie away too, still shaking her head in disbelief. No longer the center of attention, Illy just giggled and settled back down on the carpet as our favorite bluenette started to read.

"Dear Abby, I'm having some trouble with [BLANK] and would like your advice," Kim K. read aloud and already Moggie was starting to snigger.

I looked down and started to consider my cards.

New card- Swamp Ass

- 50,000 volts straight to the nipples

- Birth control

- Firing a rifle into the air while balls deep in a squealing hog

- The Holy Bible

- And Not Wearing Pants