A Smile On My Lips

It isn't easy to come to terms with this but when he grabs my ass with both hands and yanks me up it gets a bit easier in the end. My legs slipping around his waist and wrapping around for purchase, a smile playing on my lips as I withdraw my tongue and bite at his bottom lip, earning him pulling back from me with a growl.

Then he's kissing me again. His lips pressing urgently against my lips once and then twice and then thrice. Then onto my cheek and my jaw and my neck while I moan and lose my fingers in his hair, mussing it up so that everyone will know.

Our time in this alley will be temporary, after all. Just fifteen minutes to spare before we have to step out of here and we'll have to do it together and I know from experience what that will be like.

After all, it's happened twice today.

Stumbling from one encounter out into the public eye. Their gaze like god's flashlight, judging me for my wanton nature. Smelling the scent of my arousal like a perfume and seeing the flush in my skin, the muss in my hair, the running of my makeup.

I'll look freshly fucked and I want him to look that way too. Maybe it'll do something to salvage his reputation a little but more likely it'll only serve to ruin mine. That's the way the world works, after all. People judge before they praise, and if you're a girl you only get to the latter if you're lucky.

Or if you have particularly unjudgmental friends.

Rachel is one of those rare breeds. She wouldn't judge me for taking my fifteen minutes and spending it wisely, but as she's already made it clear what exactly her opinion of Blake is I have to wonder if wisely is what she'd call this.

Maybe she'll think I'm a fool. Maybe by opening his door, I'll close so many more.

Eddie. Rachel. The group.

Maybe they'll judge me for being the kind of girl who would submit to a man like this. Whispers behind my back and a reputation that grows, an expectation from all the guys in the group that I'm an easy lay and that same one with the girls, but without the secondary thought that maybe they'd get a chance.

And the thing is, I know that it's bad. I know that it's wrong and I know that I shouldn't but I know too that I can't help myself.

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