Meanwhile at Pinkwhistle High...

"And that," said Susie, sounding very pleased with herself, "is why girls are smarter than boys."

She smiled, and took a bow. The whole school had assembled in the Pinkwhistle High Auditorium to hear the outcome of the Great Boys Versus Girls Debate of 2024, or 1954 with internet, or whenever it was. Susie knew she had a tough job, standing up for the entire female gender, but she thought she'd covered all the essential points in her fifteen-minute speech. Anyway, girls really were smarter than boys. Prettier, too. There was just no way Ben Hoolihan, stupid as he was, could top it.

She took a step back so Ben could take the spotlight. He winked at her, and took his place at centre stage.

"I won't take up too much of your time," he said, into the microphone. "Boys are smarter than girls. My reasoning is simple. First, I have all my clothes on, and Susie doesn't."

Susie, startled, looked down at herself. What was he talking about? It was true that Ben had all her clothes on, but that didn't mean she...

Wait. Where were all her clothes?

The spotlight pivoted to illuminate Susie, fixing her in place as she stood on stage in front of the whole school. The crowd burst into laughter as her arms flew to cover her bare body, her eyes widening and her mouth falling into a perfect O of surprise.

"Second," said Ben, "all the boys in the room have all their clothes on, and none of the girls do."

About half the laughing students fell silent, but the other half started to laugh twice as hard, so it evened out. Then the squeals began, as every single girl in the audience began to realise, one by one, that she was sitting there completely naked.

"Eek!"

"Stop!"

"Don't look!"

And words to that effect. But the boys looked, of course. They were boys.

Eventually all the girls realised they could run away, and there was a mass stampede for the exit. The nude and very red-faced female population of Pinkwhistle High sprinted out into the grassy area outside the door of the auditorium, scrambling over each other in their haste to get away from the leering and bottom-pinching boys, the pressure of bare bodies behind them making it impossible for them to even think about going back.

Unfortunately, what waited for them in that wide-open grassy area was the entire population of Greenvalley High, the rival school from across the way. And all of them had cameras.