Alter..Oestrogen?

*DING DONG!*

Alright, now I just have to wait and see what his "something really awesome to show me down here" is after he opens the door, that is, if he's the one who opens the door, and if it really IS something that won't hurt me.

I hear footsteps rushing through my door, and I can feel my heart beating faster, wondering if it will be good news, or bad.

"Just a moment!", and then the sound of footsteps becomes dimmer and dimmer.

I wonder what happened, that DID sound like Lew, so it's probably not someone who kidnapped him and is threatening to use me as a tool to coerce him.

The footsteps coming back..

Steel your nerves, Chloe! Do you really want your best friend to see you anxious and worried, especially since you're seeing him after so long? Now's not the time for me to worry about why he locked himself up, why he imprisoned himself in his basement, why he stopped responding to my texts or my calls, or what might've caused him to do all that, he's my best friend & I'm seeing him after so long, push all of these negative emotions deep down & only show him the positive!

The front door opens, and there I see him, in his expected state, with no-one else in the background and everything looking normal, GOD that's a relief. My body posture relaxes, and my lips widen, as my sadness sinks deeper and deeper.

He's unwashed and unclean, smelling like rotting meat, though I can see that he put on some deodorant and tried to comb his hair; I wouldn't have minded if he did neither, after all, he's Lew! I've smelled and seen him like this so much that it honestly doesn't bother me.

I see his eyes taking in the utter sight of me. I made sure to do more makeup than I usually do when I see him, I want him to enjoy the sight of me, at least, more than he usually does, and the small tent between his pants confirms my suspicion. I'm just happy to see him again & look good for him! It's been so long after all.

"Hey, Chloe! Good to see you!", he steps aside to let me in.

"Those should be my words, you've been gone for ages! Is everything alright? You don't look like you've been taking care of yourself", I just can't hide my emotions from him even if I try, so I come across very worried, which, to be honest, I am, about what this machine is, about what happened to him, about why he locked himself, about who could've been the reason, and especially if I was the cause.

My eyes would run dry whenever I saw that he not only didn't respond, but also didn't read any of my messages, that he never answered my calls, that he no-one knew what was up with him..I was worried sick and often thought that I was the reason.

"Right now, I'm just one step away from perfect. Come in, come in! I've got something to show you, it's what I've been working on for so long". The excitement in his voice is as easy to hear as a scream, and I think that I detect a hint of lust, by how his hands moved I can see he wanted to just grab me and take me to his basement, which I wouldn't really mind (to be honest it sounds kind of hot, especially since he is my best friend).

"One and a half years for one project? Must be quite the project then", he certainly HAS piqued my interest, especially with how excited he seems over seeing me and was on the phone, what could have taken him so long & led him to such **** measures?

"Let's not ruin the surprise~!", GOD and he's teasing me, oh well, not that I really mind.

He must've really been excited to show me, considering that I don't even get a good chance to see as there is no light, whatever it is I just hope that we'll be in touch again, I was devastated to see no replies from him to my messages and when the news was broken to me.

"Whoa", this is..I can't even describe it, words have fled my tongue AND my brain. Its bigger half is as big as a coffin, yet is shaped like a tampon, and its box, seemingly to control it, looks like a mailbox and is kind of smaller than the electrical circuit boxes in buildings.

Truly, it is a machine.

Curiosity overtakes me, causing me to step closer "What..is this?"

"A project, one and a half years in the making", I hear, as Lew's voice gets ever so slightly farther and farther, until I turn around and see him sit on the couch, as he calls me to do the same.

His brows furrow slightly, then relax, as his eyes look away from me, seeming like they're deep in thought. Finally, he returns, and asks "do you remember when I asked you if you wanted to get a vagina?".

Sorry, I tried, I tried! I just..I just can't, I felt guilty when I saw him, and I just can't, I can't! I can't look at him any more, thinking, no, KNOWING, that I caused this.

My head falls down, and I reply, "yes", while holding back my tears.

"Chloe, are you alright?", I see the furrowing of his eyebrows once again, but they seem more concerned than before.

I can't contain it anymore!

“SO I WAS THE REASON YOU ISOLATED YOURSELF FROM SOCIETY! SO I WAS THE ONE WHO TOOK YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY AWAY FROM YOU!”

“Chloe, it’s not like th-”, the features of his face change, this time, his eyes expand, pushing back his eyebrows.

“IT IS LIKE THAT BECAUSE YOU LOCKED YOURSELF AWAY BECAUSE OF ME!!”, I can't, I can't.

It's been so long, I can't, I want to feel him again, so I throw myself into his arms.

He feels so warm and comfy, just like he's always felt. GOD I missed this feeling, he's so comforting, just like before.

"Chloe, please listen to me", I can't, I can't, I can't, I JUST FUCKING CAN'T. GOD, Lew, how could you fucking do this? I missed you so fucking much, and then you contact me again after so long, acting like everything's alright? Just fucking ignoring how much we used to fucking talk, how often, the deep shit we talked about, and now, now you want to act like everything's fucking normal? You want to fucking ignore all of that, sweep it under the rug?

GOD.

Not gonna lie, I DO like feeling his body, and his nose in my hair. I applied a special kind of hair perfume to get that sweet smell, that of lilac, checking before I left to make sure that it smelled right.

Finally, I leave his warmth, and reply, "Sure, I'll try", trying to sit-up straight.

“I remember how you cried when I asked you that question, and I cursed your parents like no other while you were crying in my arms. That made me determined, that I would make a machine which would make you content with your body, and that is what you see. This machine administers a hormone called Alter-Estrogen, which changes the body to fit it, it can give you the body of a cis woman.”

Awwww! He went to such great extents for me? To make a machine to make me happy? Hearing this news, the guilt, the regret, and much of the sadness gradually drains from my body, leaving only elation and bliss behind. He was the 1st one to come out in support of me, and he always defended me from the transphobes back in high school, so much so that I suspected that he had a crush on me, he would tank and do anything for me to defend me back then.

He was the sun of my rainy day.

I bring myself back from those passed sweet memories, and return to the present.

“That sounds great and all, but have you ever tested it on a human?”

“Well, no, I built this for you, so I have not.”

GOD he's such a dork, I chuckle, "My my, you locked yourself away for 1 and a half years because of me? I always knew that you had a crush on me."

I see his cheeks flush a bit red, and his eyes shy away from me. I knew it!

"Well, I just want to help my best friend out, I don’t have a crush on you or anything”, he tries to convince me sheepishly, obviously failing SPECTACULARLY, I love his dorkiness.

“So, I’m the first human? I’m a bit scared though, what if instead of making my body female, it instead harms me?", although I am worried about its effects, I can't deny just how cute he looks at this moment, being unwilling to admit his crush on me.

“To be honest with you Chloe, that might happen, but I have tried this on mice and they had no deformities, all male mice turned female with no difference between them and mice born female, however, I have noted that make-up changes the colour of the mice’s skin and any metallic material melts in the incubator.”

Huh, is that so? I know that mice are pretty similar biologically to humans, so they're used a lot, maybe I'll be alright.

I'm happy that I did so much make-up though, I won't have to worry about doing it again, at least on myself and for a while, and I don't want to lose my silver bracelet..