A little bit of help

Emily

"Is everything alright? Is James treating you alright?", Floria asked me.

"Oh yeah, it's been great."

"Great?"

"I mean, I feel safe. That's all that really matters, isn't it?"

"I guess, yeah... And you decided to join him?"

"Y-Yeah, we had relatively little to do. James and I are kind of similar in the sense that we work a lot and don't do a lot outside of work, so for these holidays we were just bored and at his home."

"His home?"

"Yeah I stayed after Christmas because my father asked me to. He seems to enjoy his time with his daughter out of the house."

"Ugh, sounds like her doesn't really love you, does he?"

"I... I'm not sure. I never felt not loved until..." Floria hugged me.

"It's okay. Feelings are complicated. Both his feelings and how you process them. If you want to think about whether your father loved you, think about whether he loved you or just his future heir."

"In other words, how much of a business man my dad was? That makes sense. My dad was never the best businessman but he's brilliant at playing chess with people and their ambitions. I could see him only doing this for the sake of the business, but... it never made the love feel less real, if you ask me. Even if it wasn't out of love, he was the one that raised me."

"Can I ask, what do you plan to do after?"

"Run the business. That's what I wanted to do from the start."

"And about James?"

"He'll remain a business partner. Maybe we'll spend some time together outside of work together again, but it'll be rarer than now."

"Do you want to spend time with him?"

"Yeah, we're friends, so why not? We both don't have a lot of hobbies so we're trying out a bunch of stuff over the next few days. Today is this, we'll do other things on other days, trying to find some hobbies."

"Did you not have any friends or interests growing up?"

"I was always a loner and mainly interested in my dad's business. From what I know of James in high school, he was just as much a loner. Unlike me, he didn't have a passion for his future job yet, that came quite late..."

"Oh that doesn't seem like you two had great teenage years."

"We were quite boring, looking back. But it was never bad enough for us to do something else. I hope my future years will be better, you know?"

"If you need my help, I'll be there, Emily."

"Thanks but I don't think you need to worry much. James is there for me when I need him. Should we get started? Looks like the first people are here."

"Oh yeah. Remember to always give them two cups of soup in a bowl. And be friendly. It's not just about serving a meal, it's also about making these people feel better about their day. Many of them have had no family that visited them on Christmas and many feel ashamed to be here in the first place. Nobody's proud to be poor after all."

"Understood, I'll try my best."

James

"H-Hello, I'm here to help you in the kitchen?" An old lady in her seventies was stirring several large pots. She was wearing a long black robe, she was probably someone from the church, maybe a priest or something.

"Oh, are you the help Floria organized? I'm glad you could be here. Shortly after Christmas is always when people need our help the most."

"I'm glad to be of some help. What am I supposed to do?"

"For now, not a lot. Once the first soup pot is empty, you'll wash it by hand and I'll cook the next portion. And once you have a stack of about 40 returned soup bowls or so, please fill the dishwasher. Oh, and I hope you can wait with your food. We'll all eat after this."

"No worries, I can wait."

"Can I ask you... What brought you here? We don't have a lot of young people volunteering, so I'm curious."

"This is a bit embarrassing, but my friend and I were just bored. We usually work a lot and right now we were alone since our friends are off with their families and we didn't know what to do. I suggested we could help Floria and here we are."

" I do not mean to judge, but you are weird. Many people that want to help here are compassionate and this motivates them. But not you."

"I would say I am compassionate, but more so to my friends and family rather than strangers. But I don't know if that truly is compassion."

"Don't worry dear, it still is compassion."

"I don't know if I should ask this, but what do you think is the difference between people like me who only really help those they know and people like Floria and you who seem to be willing to help everyone? What drives you two that leaves me cold?" I was being called outside. "I'll be right back." The first pot was empty, so I carried it inside and brought a new pot outside. I started washing the now empty pot in the kitchen, while the priest continued our conversation.

"I myself just am so compassionate, but it had a lot to do with how I was raised. My parents told me that it was important to share what you can with the people that need it the most, no matter what you think about said people. I don't know much about Floria's past, but many of the people who volunteer here... They needed our help in the past. They bounced back later in life but they feel indebted and empathetic to the pains of others because they experienced it themself. It's like how many comedians were at one point of their life in great pain; they understand the joy that humor can truly bring into one's life. The same applies to Floria and people like her. But... I'm not sure if that's true for her, she's never really opened up about any of this to me."

"I see. You wouldn't need to tell me even if you knew what it was, I was just curious what makes her feel this need to help that I seemingly lack."

"Don't think badly of yourself. I know some people feel guilty when others do more than them, but what you have to recognize is that while you are not helping them alleviate their pain, you're not responsible for putting them there either. You didn't fire them or raised their rent so high they have to live on the street, you didn't cut their retirement funds so much that they can't afford food, and so on. And even if it's just helping your friends, you're still helping to make this world a better place and that in itself is beautiful."

"Thanks." I didn't really know how to respond. Her somewhat philosophical explanation wasn't exactly what I had expected of what I had assumed to be an old, religious woman. I had to ponder about what she said for a moment, but quickly dismissed it. Can what I do really be called 'helping' my friends? Perhaps partially, I guess. At the same time, I was still curious about Floria. "Is Floria helping a lot here? I'm a bit surprised she's not seeing her family like others I know."

"She tries to help as much as she can, though she's usually at the shelter. If they have enough people in a shift she's usually here. But she has a job of course, so her help is limited. Why do you ask?"

"She's a colleague of mine, so I was curious how much time she's able to put in here. She has also told me once that she does sports. I'm amazed how much time and energy she has, I'm not sure I could do it."

"Oh you know her from work? I assume you two get along well then?"

"Eh..." I was called again. I loaded the tray with the empty pot and a set of used bowls. I cleaned the pot and then filled the dishwasher after I had brought out a new, steaming hot pot of soup.

"Disappointing."

"Hm?"

"You know, as a priest I want her to follow what we believe to be a good life. Yet it saddens me to see young people like you and her and your friend getting married less and less and having less and less children. I'm sure it would make her happy to be a mother one day but she never seems to be interested in that. It's unfortunate and a bit shameful, honestly. Bad example for the church."

I was struck by the stark shift in tone, I couldn't help myself but to defend Floria. "With all due respect, but as a young person I can tell you that having children is difficult today. I mean, just thinking back through my life, I was fortunate enough to be raised by parents that were well off and had time for me. But I know most people in my generation saw the sacrifices their parents made to raise their children. A parent rejecting a promotion because it would mean more time away from their children and spouse, having to support a parent when their job is in danger due to cuts or bankruptcies. And well today... I grew up here in Trinton but I had to go to Birchwood for college and my first job, before moving back here after needing a new job after only two years. My current job is a temp job-"

"What's that?"

"A temporary job. I'm just replacing someone on medical leave for three months. I'm lucky that I might be able to keep my job since the company was trying to expand already. Anyway, the point that I'm trying to make is that I never stayed in a single place for more than five years in my adult life. How am I supposed to find a partner like this if we both need to move across the country multiple times a decade, just to earn a living? And the volatility of the job market itself... If my qualifications aren't needed in a decade, how could I rationally choose to have a child? You'd need a stable job for the next 20 years to be able to guarantee that. And today people get constantly exposed to new things and new thoughts. I've seen adults that change their morals and entire friend circle within a few years because they found a new hobby, a new way of looking at life, and believe in very different things now. How can I want to have a child when I know that I might not get along with my partner in five to ten years? And just personally speaking, I love my job. I might not like having a child as much and don't want to risk it, we happen to live in times where some people can be passionate about their jobs like never before."

"Wow, you've put a lot of thought into this."

"Well, you're not the first to ask. My mom has also been nagging ever since my brother had children." This time she was quiet, perhaps thinking about the points I made. "To be clear", I added, "I think many people my age do want children at some point but they can't. And then people ask and bother them, and it's always a bit sad."

"Sorry." She smirked. "If the dishwasher is ready, you should join your friends outside, they might need your help. Take these three pots with you as well, we're done cooking for the day. I'll make myself a bowl and you three can eat later. I'll do the cleaning from now on." I'm not sure whether she was upset with me or not, but I didn't mind either way. So far, staying in the kitchen wasn't very fun or rewarding, but I hoped that was because I had not seen what good our work does.

"Sure", I meekly said. I loaded the tray with the full pots and fresh bowls and went outside to help Em and Floria. By now, the line had grown quite a lot, I was really needed more here. The group of people needing food was quite diverse. You could see some disabled people, some with accidents, some war veterans, some homeless people, some retirees. It was hard to judge these people for their tattered looks, as one could feel the suffering many of them went through. In moments like these, I do kind of feel for Jane and Gloria. They see the worst of humanity, but while they deal with perpetrators, I am seeing those that suffer here. Those that have been failed by our society. I'd like to think that GRC does its best, but I'm not quite sure if that is true.

Bowl after bowl was filled with soup and the priest occasionally showed up to pick up the used bowls for cleaning. The soup pots were large and so it took a while until they were emptied. When the line finally cleared, there was half a pot left.

Floria: "I think we can eat now." She poured three bowls full of soup and gave them to Em, then me, then herself. The soup was decent, nothing much, but I didn't need to be wowed by it. And I doubt the people here needed a gourmet experience, they needed food in their stomach. Though it was great that it wasn't as bland as hospital food. "What have you two planned in the upcoming days?"

James: "Uh, work and a lot of work-related stuff. I need to meet a reporter, appear in the city council and I have an interview soon. It sucks."

Floria: "That famous?"

James: "I don't know... The first reporter is the one you already know, who waited for me in front of the office once."

Floria: "Ugh."

James: "And the city councils has questions because of the previous mayor's resignation."

Floria: "Oh right, your father was involved, wasn't he?"

James: "Yeah but not just that. That tape made it to the press somehow, I might have been involved in handing it over to the previously mentioned journalist. Just potentially. Could be someone else."

Floria: "Wait, that's Dapy...? She's pretty young."

Emily: "Ahem and someone might have been responsible for giving that police officer who stole the tape access to a medical checkup at the shelter to ensure no city official could interfere. Someone who'd know about the shelter. Potentially."

Floria: "Did you two help?"

James: "I knew the officer from her investigation into my company, that's where she also found the tape. She wanted it released since the mayor was after her and so I called Ms. Dapy at 2AM or something like that."

Floria: "And it seems to have worked..."

James: "Yeah but it just caused further issues. The new mayor wanted to talk to me right away to beg for campaign funds in exchange for electoral promises and ugh... I wish I was less famous and bearing less responsibility sometimes."

Emily: "Don't worry, elections are only every couple years. It'll be over soon. Just keep running the business the same way and it'll work out well."

James: "Well, it looks like it's about time to meet Ms. Dapy now, I'm afraid. I'll see you soon Floria, and we'll see each other later today again, Em. Bye." With that, I left the table and the hall where the soup kitchen was located.

Floria

"Emily, could I come with you?"

"Huh, why?"

"I want to see how you two live right in my old home right now. And later I want to say hi to my old neighbor and see if she still has any milk."

"Oh, I guess you can. I'm in the process of remodeling it a little bit, so it might look different."

With that we were off to my old home. I wanted to see what James had turned this massive house into. Probably a sex dungeon knowing his relationships.

Author's note: It's been a long time, but the story should be finished now. This is one of the remaining ~30 chapters or so, I hope to release one a day or more and be done in early May or at the end of April. Thank you to everyone who is still reading and following this story, it genuinely means a lot to me.