Clarissa, popular high school classmate

Tall, blonde, beautiful, buxom and radiating happy confidence. Clarissa, head cheerleader basically by default with her six foot height and toned muscles making her able to throw most of the other girls just as well as any male cheerleader, a fact that the coach took full advantage of when making routines. Basically a real life Amazon warrior, but preppy. My polar opposite. She looked a little different from when I had seen her last spring, she had cut her hair down to shoulder length and was wearing surprisingly casual clothes compared to the cheerleader uniform and high end fashion I usually saw her in. She had on a university sweater and sweat pants, a practical choice for move in day.

In fairness, my throat might have clamped shut no matter who had been behind the door, but seriously, CLARISSA!? I chose this college specifically because I thought no one from my high school would come here, and not only does some one do that, not only do we end up roommates, but it’s the most popular girl I’ve ever known. I heard she was crowned prom queen AND king, because who could possibly be her king? I’m pretty sure they were making a joke at the kings expense, kind of a ‘prom king, what prom king?’ type of joke, but still. My dream of a new me was exploding before me, and as always when stressed, I found myself unable to speak and just gawked at Clarissa.

“Oh, you must be my new roommate, I’m Clair, nice to meet you.” Said Clarissa, showing off with her normal human interaction skills.

… wait. That’s right, I look completely different. She has no idea who I am. She probably isn’t expecting to see anyone she knows here either. Okay, play it cool. I’ve got this. Deep breath. Oh shit I don’t have time for breathing she’s introducing herself I have to say something back, not just something an introduction but not with my name what if it rings a bell! Goth girls have nicknames, like Raven but not that because every goth girl is named Raven, something more unique… Crow? That’s terrible. Corvid! Perfect. Lazy but still unique.

“… hi I’m Corvid, nice to meet you.” I say after a perfectly normal amount of awkward silence.

“Okay… um. I’m just going to finish unpacking and setting up my desk. Then I was going to go and check out the classrooms for tomorrow. Don’t want to get lost on the first day. Freshman have a lot of the same basic classes so we probably share a few if you want to come with.” Clarissa said with natural ease. I imagined little judges holding up score cards and each of them being perfect 10’s.

“…um, yeah. That would be cool. Cool. I will also be unpacking. And if I am done when you are done, then we could totally go and do that. Yes.” I clear my throat, with confidence. The little imaginary judges storm out in disgust, refusing to dignify my performance with a score at all. And then I remember I need to actually do that unpacking and maybe that will help me not have to look her in the face as her left eye brow raises up at my rambling.

The next 30 minutes or so pass by with successful normalcy. I unpack my new patented monochrome wardrobe and arrange my school supplies on the dorm desk. My school supplies are not monochrome, different colors make organizing notes and projects easier. The room itself is pretty basic, two beds with drawers underneath for storage and two desks, each symmetrical in layout across the room and a window directly between the beds with a shared nightstand underneath. The room was plenty big for the two of us but visitors would make it cramped quickly.

Clarissa finished just a bit before me. “Ready to go Corvid? I have my class schedule and we can see if we have anything together.”

“Yes, um here is my schedule.” I say and then hand her my paper.

“Okay yeah. A lot of the same courses, but only two are at the same time. Maybe we can help each other out. I’m pretty good at math, but meh at the rest.”

“…um, yes. I mean I am also good at the math and other subjects. And stuff. Shall we go now?” I scream at myself in my head that I do in fact know normal conversational syntax so please use it!

Clarissa laughs softly, if she were smaller I would call it a giggle but it’s hard to ascribe that word to someone I have to crane my neck up so high to look at. “You’re funny. Yeah we can go. Just let me grab my jacket.”

As she reached to grab a dark brown leather jacket I realized I hadn’t checked my makeup since the car, and paranoia at what I had to imagine was a completely wrecked face washed over me. “I actually need to use the bathroom, I’ll meet you at the stairs.” And so saying I walked out to the floors public bathroom. Looking in the mirror I saw that once again my imagination had made me fear the worst. I touched up my lipstick but really it was more to do something at all rather than to actually fix anything.

Having successfully calmed down, I headed out and met Clarissa to start my totally normal college life as a normal confident person. As long as she never realizes who I am… even though she probably wouldn’t actually care but then I would have to explain why I hid it and I really only did it in a moment of panic… so yeah this secret goes to my grave. With confidence.