Let's talk to the elf

Author's note: If you're one of my regular readers, first off: hello, welcome back! And second off, I have rewritten this entire story to be in 1st person instead of 2nd person. Adler has kind of grown and become his own character rather than a shell for the reader to inhabit. In my editing of this I have also restructured sentences, smoothed out paragraphs and lengthened sex scenes. If you're up for it, I'd recommend re-reading this story from the beginning as it has close to 2,500 extra words in it than it did previously. Regardless of that though, thank you again for reading and its not necessary to go back and re-read the whole thing as I didn't add any new contexts. It's just better now is all. I have up to chapter 17 finished already so the regular uploads of a chapter or two a week should be able to continue from here on out. Thank you and happy reading! ^-^)/

-Dragon

I glance back to the kitchen entrance where Mia disappeared to and hear the clank of pots and pans and the sizzle of food, a purple mist sometimes drifting out from between the swinging doors. I’ll give her some time alone to reset. That seems best right now based on my entirely uneducated opinion.

Grabbing my ale, I stroll across the tavern floor dodging breasts and butts, the occasional explosion of bodily fluids and the less occasional explosions of non-bodily fluids.

Sitting down at the proffered seat across from the elf, I get my first good look at her. The first thing I notice as I plant my butt on the worn wooden bench seat is that I tower over her, even sitting. The table is fairly low for me but I see that she is sitting on a raised bench about a foot higher than mine. This allows her to comfortably rest her elbows on the table while nursing her mug and I can see that she is overall petite.

Her shoulders are narrow and her breasts are small but perky; they’re perfectly balanced for her slim physique. Her hips are slightly wider than her shoulders and her toned midriff has a decent amount of curve to it despite her short stature. I can’t see them right now but I assume that her butt and legs are the same as the rest of her body, small yet toned.

Her face is the most interesting part of her though, her face is round and wide with a small nose and a little bit of a butt in her chin. Her eyes are the most stand out feature, with huge irises that are a pale, almost silvery gray. Her pupils are small even in what little light is in the tavern, cast from hanging sconces, wall torches and hearths. Her pale blonde eyebrows extend off her brow to join her overly long elven ears extending almost a foot in length. They sway gently as she moves her head around, always lagging a little bit behind. Her hair is shorn in a cute bob that stops just shy of touching her shoulders, the same platinum blonde as her eyebrows.

She wears what looks to be fitted mages robes that cling tightly to her chest and hips, emphasizing her lithe physique. The three-quarter sleeves of the robe are white on the outside and on the shoulders and chest while being red on the inside, as are the inner sides and back of the body of the robe. It certainly isn't your average mage robe and ends rather abruptly in a bikini-bottom-like fashion that leaves her hips exposed and probably some of her butt too. It’s eye-catching and certainly shows off the goods in a spectacular way. It’s very difficult not to stare. Which is something that I am failing at, currently.

She quirks an eyebrow at my obvious inspection and I hastily apologize, “Sorry, sorry, I’ve never seen a Moon Elf before. Most folk in my region think that you’re all extinct. I thought that your peoples were just hiding in your various glades and biding your time until the shorter lifespan races forget about your existence and you can go about your business on your own. It makes sense to me, Moon Elves are such a ‘coveted’ species that they practically become trophies for the corrupt, eccentric nobles but I just think that’s so cruel. I mean-”

I cut off abruptly as my brain caught up with what my mouth was doing. Of course she doesn’t want to hear about my theories about the disappearances of her people from this planet, or at least from this realm. She was smiling up at me though with a small smile and waiting for me to finish.

I look sheepishly down at the table and fold both hands around my mug. After a moment or two of silence, I sigh and speak again.

“Apologies for my outburst, I have done research on many of the more rare species of humanoids during my time at the temple. We all have to find a focus of study, lest we lose ourselves to lust, and that is my specialization. I…just became a little too excited for a first conversation. I apologize again.”

“Says who?” She has a quiet, soft voice but it could be heard clearly over the ambient din of the tavern.

“Hmm? Pardon?”

“Who says that it’s possible to be too excited for a first conversation?”

I am at a loss of words. I have no idea how to respond to this. I don’t know who said that. Was that something that I was supposed to know? Her voice snapped me out of my head.

“Let’s leave that aside for now, okay? I simply want to meet you. I’ve been observing your interactions with Mia. She is a good friend to me.”

I nod slowly and a question forces its way out of my mouth part way before I could stop it, “Does she do that to ev-”

She smiled her small smile.

“No, Mister Grey, she has never acted like that before. At least that I have seen. She is a warm, accepting woman when she serves customers. She is truthfully jovial in her conversations. She is mostly impartial to her clientele, though. There are regulars that she loves to see and she chats with them. Me, Rakos over there,” she motions with her hand at the minotaur that was also here when I came in, “and some others. But you, Mister Grey, seem to have joined us already. Maybe even surpassed us, in less than an hour.”

She speaks in short sentences with lots of space in between them. It makes it easy for my easily overwhelmed brain to process her words but it is difficult to know when she is truly done speaking. I wait a couple more moments to be double sure that you’re not about to interrupt her.

“She is a lovely woman and I greatly enjoy her company. I am overjoyed that you believe she enjoys my company as well. I feel a strangely deep connection to her even though we met so recently and that is simultaneously a joyous and a terrifying feeling. I am sorry for invading your space so suddenly. I hope that we can become friends and share this space as equals.”

“Oi.”

She sounds pissed. I stiffen at her sudden change in demeanor. I look up into her eyes, startled. Her eyelids have narrowed at me and her brow is furrowed.

“Why’re you talking like that? Being paid by the syllable, or something? I guess we won’t put it aside for later. The way you talked before was totally fine. You are allowed to get excited. I’m aware that my very existence debunks theories believed for years. I love to hear what _researchers _and _scholars _have to say. The laymen can eat a big bag of dicks. They only see me like the nobles you talked about. A story to brag about like seeing a restless spirit. A statistical anomaly, a trophy to be caged, a painting to be put in a frame. Oh Sylvana, now I’m doing it. Do you always speak in poems? Is it usually contagious?”

I pause, it’s impossible to tell if she’s being serious or not. Her voice remains the same level tone, almost as if she’s bored by everything around her. Her eyes flit all over my face, though, and she seems to be observing me acutely as she talks. Her speed of talking increased and she was speaking in longer sentences.

What the fuck is going on? How am I supposed to respond? Am I even supposed to respond? Why won’t people just let me talk the way I wanna talk? Am I really that weird? Who said you’re not supposed to be too excited during a first conversation? Is tonight trivia night? Am I being duped? Am I being double duped? Are Mia and this elf in on this together? I don’t even know this elf’s name! Is it too late to look at her Card? She’d feel me looking at it, she’s staring straight at me. Can I just ask for her name out loud?

Wait, she asked you a question. No, she asked you two! You gotta respond to at least one of them or she’ll think you’re weird. She probably already thinks you’re weird.

How long have I been quiet thinking about this? Does this still even qualify as a conversation? What the fuck is happening, why am I here, this city is insane, the people in it are crazy, why did I think I could fit in?

The thoughts didn’t stop and my brain spiraled out of control. Panicking. You’re panicking, Adler. Take a deep breath and let it out. Let the tension leave your body. C’mon, you got this. Deep breath in, there you go, and now let it all out. Clear your mind. Oh no.

Don’t do that, don’t laugh. Don’t do a nervous laugh, you’re gonna sound like an insane person. Well, if you’re gonna laugh, just make it a chuckle. Then smile and clear up the misunderstandings. You got this.

I manage to swallow down the rising tide of anxiety but that only seems to make it worse. More concentrated. My leg starts bouncing under the table. Shortly after that, my finger starts tapping. I chew on the inside of my cheeks and lips. My eyes sweep side to side, checking my surroundings.

I feel the sudden need to be anywhere else but here. I plant my hands on the table and shove myself into a standing position. My knees are about to lock and I prep myself for stepping over the bench. I’m a coward, I know. I just…don’t know how to do any of this. I never did. And suddenly I'm in over my head. The riptide is deadly and won’t let me go.

The table is quickly getting closer and closer. Wait, it’s supposed to be getting farther away. I’m supposed to be running away like a failure. My legs simply refuse to hold my weight. They refuse to even function. My heart hurts. My head hurts. I wish I could just disappear.

My chest and head slam onto the heavy wood of the table. The noise is not unnoticeable to those around me. And I could _feel _a couple of gazes turn from their meals. I remain facedown on the table, unwilling to raise my head and look back at any of the eyes trained on me. Least of all to the moon elf’s

I hit a clenched fist on the table softly and let out a weak chuckle at my pathetic showing. There’s certainly no recovery from this. I pound the table once more, a little harder this time. My laugh gets stronger.

From the dredges of my soul, my body expels all of my nervous energy at once. I throw back your head and let out the loudest belly laugh that has ever come out of your mouth. The sound is funneled upwards into the rafters until it bounces off the ceiling and reverberates throughout the entire room. Some tears leak out of my squeezed shut eyes.

The usual noise of the tavern gradually ceases. Heads turn towards my section of the long bench table. Conversations, drinks, barmaids and orgies all slowly grind to a halt and they stare right at me. Out of the corner of my wide open eyes I think I see Mia Momma’s head poke out of the kitchen.

I slowly lower my gaze from the ceiling to the elf in front of you. Her eyes are looking at me too. Her big pale irises are completely unobstructed, her eyelids have gone as wide as they can and they’re staring straight at me.