Not even remotely.

Drake spent most of his quickie with Natasha trying to keep her quiet. For some reason, this weird simulacrum had started to grow on him. Maybe it was its erratic, unpredictable nature. Maybe it was the fact that it demanded to fuck him within a minute of coming into existence.

Now, though, he was shushing her and trying to cover her mouth while she screeched her way through an orgasm. He had forgotten that people without proprioception couldn't regulate their speech volume. After what seemed like hours, she finally started to unclench and relax back into the bed.

He rolled off of her and grimaced as she let out a loud fart. This was starting to seem like a really bad idea. Just as he was trying to figure out what to say to the semi-sentient lump of meat he just railed, there was a knock at the door.

He swore under his breath, careful not to let Natasha hear so she wouldn't panic. Only a handful of people knew he was here and hearing from any of them meant something went wrong. He couldn't help but swear aloud when he looked through the peephole, though. He hastily opened the door to see someone he really didn't want to see right now.

"Mrs. Ashcroft?" he asked, trying not to panic. Why the fuck was she in his room? How did she even know what room he was in? She was advancing on him, a creepily empty smile on her lips. "What are you doing?"

"Oh, hello, Mr. Drake." She giggled mirthlessly, her wide eyes staring right through him. "I need something."

Before he knew what was happening she was putting a finger in his mouth. He felt her fingernail ticking his uvula as she slid her finger along the roof of his mouth. He quickly snatched her ability to move as he fell backwards.

Drake hit the dresser with a grunt and was coughing, trying to expel whatever evil thing she'd just dosed him with. How had he let her get so close? It didn't really matter, he realized. He looked at his hands in his lap. It was fine. He looked up at Mrs. Ashcroft, frozen with her finger out, that same weird vacant smile on her lips.

"What's happening?" Drake's reverie was interrupted by Natasha's terrified voice. "Is everything ok?"

Drake opened his mouth to answer but nothing came out. Was it? He froze Mrs. Ashcroft, so she wouldn't be a problem. He should probably try to figure out what she dosed him with and why she did it, but he really didn't feel like it. He took care of the immediate problem, which was great. He had done great.

"Everything's fine," he confidently told Natasha.