Smokeshow I

A/N This is part one of three in this chapter. I split it up because it was getting quite long and this felt like a natural break. I did not get to any whispers in this chpater.

Nicolette waited in the hallway for first period to end. She had a hard time steadying herself. Her nerves were on absolute fire. Nicolette barely perceived her surroundings as she worked her way down from a panic attack. I can’t believe that happened! Nicolette paced from one end of the English hallway and back as she pondered what had happened. The movement helped calm her down. Just as she started feeling a little more normalized, the bell rung, interrupting her thoughts as she jumped. After students pored out of Mrs. O’Malley’s classroom, Nicolette walked in with a slumped posture and hoodie covering her face. She sat down in the far corner of the room and prayed her friends didn’t see her.

Ok, Nicolette. You can do this. Just don’t look them in the eyes. Especially, Danny… Or Alex… Or Fuck!” Nicolette felt her anxiety start peaking again as her friends walked in the door. They immediately looked at her with concerned faces, which made Nicolette feel even worse. Fuck! I’m such a bitch! I lost my job yesterday, and I just lost my friends, and if I don’t make Mr. Anderson happy… _Although, I wouldn't mind making him happy... _Nicolette couldn’t continue that line of thinking. Instead, she though of her Mom; **** to find work at a strip club after running away from Dad.

The DnD group sat around her, protectively making a circle, and she almost bolted right there and then. She felt too ashamed to be around them, especially Alex and Danny who had literally seen her cum in class. Izzy gently asked, “Nikky, are you ok?”

Nicolette didn’t answer. Instead, She pulled on the drawstrings of her hoodie and made it tighten around her face. Izzy opened her mouth, worriedly, to speak when Mrs. O’Malley started roll call.

“Great! It appears like everyone is here. Like I promised you all last week, if you already turned in your finals, you’re free to leave. Mrs. La’raine has a movie playing for all the graduating students. Good luck and God bless you. Oh, and I’ll just assume you came in on Wednesday! So, go forth and prosper!” Mrs. O’Malley released class. Nicolette honestly loved her English teacher. She was a kindly old grandmother; in her seventies, she taught out of love for students. During Freshman and sophomore years, the DnD crew played in her classroom during lunch hour. Nicolette wanted to say goodbye properly, but the moment class ended, she bolted for the door. Tears lightly welling in her eyes, Nicolette barged out of the room.

“Hey, wait up!” Izzy called after her in the hallway. Nicolette didn’t respond and kept fast-walking down the hallway. She didn’t have a plan in place where to go.

_Maybe if I get my bike, I can head home. Fuck this day! _Nicolette thought as she turned a corner and saw the bike rack. Nobody else was in sight, and she turned toward the stairs, opened those doors, and started racing down, taking them two steps at a time. She could still hear Izzy behind her. Why can’t she leave me alone? She was nice enough to loan me her outfit and I fucking ruined it!

“Nicolette!” Izzy hollered a little louder, her voice echoing down the staircase. “Can we talk about this? Whatever this is?”

Nicolette didn’t respond as she opened the doors at the bottom of the stairs and stormed out into the warm April day. She instantly felt the heat from the sun on her back as she jogged across the courtyard, looking for her bike. Where’s my bike? Didn’t I ride it? Nicolette thought in a blind panic when she couldn’t see her bike. She paused and closed her eyes, remembering how she had left the bike in Izzy’s jeep. Fucking hell!

Izzy put a hand on Nicolette’s shoulder and turned her around. Nicolette didn’t see anger or fear or frustration like she expected, but a kind and concerned friend. Immediately her resolve faltered, and Izzy dug the knife deeper, asking softly, “Nikky?”

“I-I...” Nicolette began and shook her head. She felt lost, and oh so ever lonely.

Izzy just pulled her into a comforting hug. “Hey. Let’s go to my car and talk. Yea?”

Nicolette felt rejuvenated by the hug. It was warm, friendly, and just what she needed. She felt her resolve nearly shatter. Nicolette bit her lip as she thought about telling Izzy her truths. Izzy just maintained the hug, which made Nicolette feel somehow worse. She didn’t deserve such a nice friend when she acted like such a bitch.

The stairwell door slammed open with an audible Thud and the rest of their DnD group streamed out. The boys were led by Danny, who immediately started looking for Nicolettee and Izy. He had put his baseball hat on, looking every bit the country boy he was. He spied Nicolette and Izzy by the bike rack. Waving his hand at them, he turned to make sure Zach and Alex were still with him before jogging over. Zach towered over them as he stood up, his impressive height dwarfing the other two boys; meanwhile, Alex had started huffing, his face slightly red with exertion, and he bowed his head slightly as he trailed behind, continuing at a slightly slower pace.

“Yea, I think that would be good, Izzy,” Nicolette nodded and swallowed back her emotion. The boys drew closer, and she could see concern written across all of their faces. Neither Danny nor Alex looked directly at her, but it was obvious in the way they had chased after her that there was real camaraderie.

“Ok,” Izzy said softly to Nicolette. She faced away from Nicolette and called out loudly to Zach, “Can we have some girl time?”

In response, the tall black man gave her a thumbs up and grabbed Danny’s shoulder. He said something in a low voice, and Danny slowed to a walk. Grateful, Alex caught up to them. Zach’s voice boomed back at them, “We’ll be in the Scooby-van when ya’ll are ready!”

Nicolette felt a little shell-shocked. She barely noticed Izzy grab her hand and guide her back to the jeep. Her mind was full of worry and anxiety. They settled into the jeep and Izzy immediately cracked the windows.

“Thanks for coming after me,” Nicolette began. Her voice slightly trembled as she felt a confluence of raw emotion swirl within her, threatening her senses. Was she really going to be honest? Yes, Nicolette thought to herself. I need to talk with someone. I was too caught up in myself with Mr. Anderson. I don’t really know him… Oh God, what did I promise him? Maybe talking will help?

Turning to look at Izzy, Nicolette noticed the other girl wore a pretty yellow tank top and blue jean-shorts. Nicolette felt a momentary sense of regret that Izzy wasn’t wearing something sexier. She looked so sexy this morning in that pink bra and tight shorts. Yummy! The thought fled quickly; both girls had been dress-coded before, and it wasn’t a fun experience. She didn’t have time to but on makeup, but her kind and caring expression looked divine in the natural lens flare; Izzy had delicate features, soft in that sensuall feminine manner that few had. She waited patiently for Nicolette to continue.

“Sorry. I don’t really know how to say it, but I’m fucking scared, Izzy,” Nicolette trembled slightly. Izzy grabbed her hand, imbuing Nicolette with more confidence to continue. She took a long breath and admitted, “I got fired from The Freaky Corner, yesterday.”

Izzy furrowed her brow and blurted, “Wait? What!? Why!?”

Nicolette couldn’t help but smile shyly. Izzy is so protective. I’m so grateful for her. “That’s not all… today, Mr. Anderson caught me fingering myself during the exam.” Nicolette looked away, her shyness coming back in full ****, but now that she had started confession, she felt compelled to finish.

Izzy couldn’t help but wonder softly aloud, “What the hell?”

“Yea. Remember how he put his hand on my shoulder and walked me out of class?” Izzy nodded in response. Nicolette continued, her face beginning to blush more and more, “I thought we were going to the principal’s, but we stopped in the stairwell… Then I admitted something really private and really stupid and really fucking weird and and…”

Nicolette started thinking about how it could have gone. On her knees, cock in her mouth, his hand guiding her down....

“Hey.” Izzy broke her out of the fantasy, “that’s fucking ****! You should sue his ass!” her voice was angry and defensive.

Nicolette shook her head in negation, “That’s actually not the problem, Izzy.” The next words that came out of her mouth felt true, and she felt that confluence of emotion spring forth as she confessed, “the problem is I enjoyed it. All of it. I am addicted to porn. Whenever we do yoga or track or even DnD, I sneak off to rub my pussy. I fantasize non-stop about everyone. Even you. Just this morning, I couldn’t help but wish we used the communal shower so we could see each other. I know it’s wrong, and I’m so embarrassed. When Mr. Anderson caught me, my first reaction wasn’t ‘oh, no!’ It was, “fuck, this would make some good porn.’”

The silence hung in the air for a long moment. Nicolette felt self-conscious. This was her deepest darkest secret and Izzy didn’t respond. How could she? It made her look at Nicolette with new eyes, and she didn’t know what words to say.

Nicolette looked out the window and stared at the blue sky for a moment longer, then turned her head to look at Izzy. Again, she thought she would see hurt or disgust, but Izzy looked contemplative instead. Nicolette expected to feel embarrased, ashamed for being who she was. But Izzy didn't make her feel that way. And now feeling a little more confident, Nicolette continued. “I have these affirmations, ‘I am beautiful. I am sexy. I am desirable. I am powerful.’ But ever since Marcus and I broke up, I don’t feel beautiful, sexy, desirable, or powerful. And like Mary and Jon always bullied me, and even when I dated Marcus, I felt like a pretender. It’s why I wear such shitty, ugly clothes!”

She took a deep breath, pulled her hand out of Izzy’s soft grasp, and wiped away a tear. Then apologized, “I’m sorry. I just unloaded on you like that. I’m such a selfish bitch!”

Izzy slumped back in her chair and gently bit her knuckle; it was a tick she had developed when young and did occasionally when she had to think. Finally, she leaned back over toward Nicolette and said gently, “Nicolette, I love you. You’re my best friend. I’m fucking flattered you made a pass on me… I’m conflicted, too, but I’m committed to Zach. Also, fuck Marcus. That bag of dicks left you high and dry for Pam on prom because Jonathon wouldn’t sell him weed anymore. He never cared for you… And your siblings can go to hell. They’ve always been grade-A assholes…”

Nicolette looked at Izzy expectantly as the Latina wiped the tears away from her eyes. They made eye contact briefly and both girls blushed. Nicolette could feel herself get **** and opened her mouth to speak, but Izzy spoke first, “Nikky, I admire you. You have like the sexiest body I’ve ever seen. We’ve seen each other’s silhouette’s, and I’ve felt bad about being jealous. But, you’ve got curves and athleticism, and this dirty little mind. I guess I’ll speak for the group, but we’ve all known about your porn addiction. It’s been obvious to us. I mean, you literally disappear every couple hours to the ‘bathroom’ and come back 15 minutes later with a sexy little blush on your face and this cute little glow. Danny and Alex are both secretly in love with you, girl. They can’t stop looking at you. Haven’t you noticed?”

“Thanks Izzy,” Nicolette whispered and leaned over to hug her friend. “I really needed that. So, you don’t think I’m weird or disgusting?”

“Hell, no!” Izzy responded insistently and smiled conspiratorially. “TBH, Zach and I sometimes talk about how sexy you are… I may have even used you as a prop while sexting…” Izzy blushed a little, but maintained her confident air.

Nicolette felt her core heat up, hearing that. “Oh. I kind of like that.”

“But, I am worried,” Izzy broke the hug and held onto Nicolette’s hands. “Like that thing you’re gonna do with Mr. Anderson is disturbed. Aren’t you afraid he’s going to **** you?”

Nicolette blushed and shook her head. “Not really… I – I feel really good, actually, about it. I know it sounds weird, but this morning has also been good. Like, I felt so nervous in your outfit this morning, but also sexy and free. It’s like I’m breaking free of my shyness, but I’m still so nervous. I feel this weird pull toward shyness and nymphomania, and I don’t know where I’m going, but I need to see it through… Besides, he’s really fucking hot. I bet he’s got a big cock.”

Izzy tried not to look concerned, but finally she had to express her concern. “Nicolette, aren’t you worried about yourself? I mean, you’re going to college, right?”

Nicolette blushed and looked away. “I haven’t decided. Not yet, at least. And I don’t really care about the consequences. I mean, Dad’s the town drunk and Mom works at the strip club. Who the fuck expects me to succeed?”

“I do.” Izzy said firmly and looked at Nicolette. “Just promise me you’ll be safe. I can't stop you, but I'm your friend. I'll always be there for you…”

Nicolette nodded. “Yea. I can do that. I promise.”

“And could you also do me a teensy-weensy favor?” Izzy asked, a little chagrined.

“Anything. Especially I just poured my guts out to you,” Nicolette smiled warmly.

“Please stay away from Zach… I want to go at my own pace with him. We’ve fooled around a little, but…” Izzy looked a little nervous and batted her eyelashes at Nicolette.

Nicolette blinked a couple of times in complete surprise. She hadn’t contemplated messing around with Zach. Sure, she fantasized about him, but Izzy was always there. She really didn’t want to mess up their relationship and come between her friends. “Oh. Of course. You two are so cute, I’m honestly jealous.”

The two girls blushed and then embraced in a hug until all the bad emotions left. They joked a little while cleaning themselves up. Izzy had to put on new eyeliner and Nicolette put on some makeup. She wasn’t that good at using makeup, but she painted her lips a light peach color that blended well with her skin and put on some black eyeliner. It felt weird to put on even that much makeup when she wore a dingy sweatshirt, t-shirt, and sweatpants. After, they chatted a bit before heading over to Zach’s van.

No changes to score

Postnot:

The next chapter includes a van, 5 people, lowered inhibitions, and a whisper about nudity. :) Go nuts XD