Dating Chloe (Jake PoV) [v2 Branch]

Authors Note: This and following chapters diverge from the original story. While there are still some heavy elements, I removed one of the darker storylines involving Chloe’s motivations. There will still be familiar elements, but there are enough changes that I believe warrants a branch.

It was a day like any other school day, only it wasn’t. Today, I had a girlfriend. Her text on Sunday asking if the previous night had been a dream had kicked off a conversation that confirmed it. Chloe was my girlfriend.

I could feel the emotions outside my mental fortress in a swirl at the thought. There was an expectation that I would feel different now that I had an established a clear relationship, but today was feeling like any other.

She was waiting for me on the roof. That was surprising considering I always beat her here. I looked into her Noise as I approached. It still lacked the euphoria from her Gift, but I could see the swirls of negative emotions that resided there. Seeing me brightened her Noise slightly as she smiled at me, but she couldn’t hide her sadness from my Gift. This wasn’t what I expected on our first meeting since I dropped her off at her house.

“Morning,” she said with false cheer.

“Good morning,” I said as I stood next to her. She was looking out at the people below, pretending to be interested in what they were doing. “Something wrong?” I asked after a few moments of silence.

She paused before turning to me, avoiding my eyes. “This isn’t going to work.” Saying nothing, I waited for her to continue. It was a rush as her words poured from her. “It’s not you, it’s me. When you asked me to be your girlfriend, I was overjoyed but—”

“You’re going to continue your business activities.”

She winced, her Noise turning dark. Straightening up, she summoned the courage to meet my steady gaze. “I am. I’m sorry. I should have declined when you asked. I was caught up in the moment and—”

“It’s fine.” My two words completely derailed her train of thought. Her emotions were a jumble, with shock being the dominant one in her Noise.

“W-what?”

“Quitting was never a condition for us dating and I never expected you to do so.”

Her Noise roiled as her emotions played out on her face. She seemed unable to decide if she should be happy, angry, sad, or any combination of them. “I don’t know whether to be insulted you thought I would continue sleeping with other guys while dating you, or pissed you are okay with it.” She rolled her lower lip into her mouth and bit on it as she thought. “Or are you into that sort of thing? I mean, I know some guys here who are so I’m totally not judging you or anything—”

I held up a hand, stopping her. “No, I’m not.” I stopped myself, thinking for a moment. I felt nothing out of the ordinary when I thought of it. “At least, I don’t think I am. I haven’t thought much about sexual kinks so I don’t know what I’m into or not.” She was giving me an odd look, confusion in her Noise. I took a breath and gestured towards the bench. “Perhaps we should talk before making a decision.”

Her Noise was all over the place making it hard to read her. Sitting on the bench, she turned towards me and took a deep breath as she brushed her hair from her face.

There was a brief silence as I put my thoughts in order. “Chloe, before we continue this you need to understand that my Gift suppresses my emotions.” I watched as her eyes widened slightly.

“So that’s why…” She didn’t finish the thought, instead circling her hand over her face quickly.

“Why I don’t emote? Yes. I worked with a therapist and my aunt put me in acting classes to at least mimic some of the basic ones.” To prove it, I smiled at her before shifting to anger and finishing on sadness. She watched in silence, eyes wider than normal. “This doesn’t mean I’m some emotionless machine. I am aware of emotions and strong ones can manifest limited reactions. Overall though, I am emotionally distant from those around me and I tend to act differently than others would in situations.”

“I never knew something like that existed. I just thought you were some stoic badass in control of your emotions.” She let out a breath, leaning against the back of the bench. “I’ve never seen you as emotionally distant though. If anything, you have been the most empathetic person I’ve met.”

“My Gift helps with that. I’m sorry, but I’m not comfortable discussing it any farther yet,” I added when I saw the curiosity in her Noise and face.

“Hey, I understand.” She smiled sweetly. “They call it The Gift, but sometimes… it doesn’t feel like one.” I nodded as I watched the guilt gradually infest her Noise.

“I feel it is only fair that I let you know this ahead of time. There are times where I may not be able to give you the support you need or seem distant. It isn’t because I do not care, but because I physically cannot understand what you are going through. Shared emotional experiences are something I don’t think I will be able to give you. For example, if you tell me something that upsets you expecting me to get upset as well as a shared experience, I can’t do that.” She listened silently, hands folded in her lap. “That said, I do care about you in my own way. It’s because of that I still want to give this a try.”

“Why me?” she asked softly. “There are so many better girls out there.”

I took a moment to think. As I did, I took in her Noise. It was a stormy place at the moment, but it wasn’t always like that. Under normal conditions, it was a calm sea I could immerse myself in. Even if the emotions were distant, they were still there. When I was with her, I simply felt better. Her being near me had a positive impact on her Noise too, which reinforced my desire to be around her. Yes, there was still the aspect of how her Gift might be able to help me, but that was no longer the primary drive. It was no longer a secondary or tertiary goal. It all boiled down to one simple thing.

“Because it’s you.”

She huffed. “That’s it?”

“Yes.” I could see in her Noise that my answer wasn’t having the impact I desired. “I could say things like I enjoy seeing you smile. That your laugh makes my body feel lighter. That being with you, even if we aren’t saying anything, makes the world a little easier to handle. That you are a presence I cannot ignore and don’t want to ignore. I can go on and on with reasons why, but in the end, it all comes down to the simple explanation that Chloe is Chloe. You are you, and that is why I want to continue to be with you.”

There was a positive swelling of emotion in her Noise, but the tears in her eyes wasn’t what I expected.

“You mean that?”

“Of course.”

Taking a deep breath, she turned away to wipe her eyes. She faced me when she had collected herself.

“You know, I would have accepted, ‘Because you have a rockin body,’” she said with a grin. “But that works too.”

I **** a smile. “You caught me. Everything I said before was a lie.”

She giggled. “Too late. No take-backs.” The smile faded as she stared up at me, expression growing serious. “You don’t have to pretend though.” Before I could ask what she meant, she pointed to her lips. Ah. I’d forgotten to let my face relax and had been smiling entirely too long. “Now that I know, it feels weird.”

“Sorry.”

She shook her head, looking down at her lap. “You really okay with dating a whore like me?”

Reaching out, I rested my hand on her shoulder. “Don’t. You’re not a whore.”

“I take money for sex. Pretty sure that’s in the definition of what a whore is.”

She was putting herself down and I could see the negative emotions making gains in her Noise. Simply telling her wasn’t going to help her because it was something she had internalized. No amount of me telling her otherwise would budge the way she saw herself.

“I see you as an entrepreneur.”

“You can’t be serious.”

“You own a profitable and successful business. How is that not being an entrepreneur?” She was about to interrupt as I pushed on. “And you are not selling sex, you are monetizing your Gift. Plenty of people do that. It is no different than anyone else who takes money for use of their Gift. Companies hire Gifted people to artificially boost employee morale and productivity all the time. How is this any different?”

“Pretty sure those people aren’t going around blowing and sexing people up at work.”

“You don’t control how your Gift works any more than anyone else does. You are working hard to achieve what you want and it harms no one.”

She gave a bitter laugh. “Good luck explaining that one to the relationship rubble I’ve left in my wake.”

“Purely self-inflicted. You offer a service. It was their choice to purchase it and the consequences are their own. It is no different than a bartender serving an alcoholic.”

Sighing, she leaned forward, hands pressing down on the seat on either side of her. “Wish other people thought the way you did.”

“Fuck them.” She looked over at me with wide eyes. “You owe them nothing.”

“And you? If we are dating, I suppose you’ll be expecting freebies?” I said nothing, trying to determine the best thing to say. Until now, I never considered the sex aspect of the relationship. The resulting silence dragged on a touch too long. A smile broke out on her face as she chuckled. “You know, teasing you is going to be really fucking hard with that poker face of yours.”

“Sorry.”

She took a deep breath, looking up. “Just another thing I’ll have to get used to.” I said nothing as I watched her Noise. She was building up to something. I could see her determination forming, growing into actionable levels. “For the sake of being honest, I can’t promise you I can separate my feelings… when uh… when I’m with another guy.” She looked down at her lap, shoulders slouching. “My Gift doesn’t allow it. There is a windup before it fires off. I’ve tried to fight it. Hold a piece of myself while it builds. I can’t. I lose myself in it every time. Doesn’t matter if I hate the person I’m with or not. By the end… I’ll do anything to get off. With anyone.” Rubbing at her arm, she continued to focus downward as her Noise grew cold and lonely. “I can’t even properly feel the regret after. I know, rationally, I didn’t like it. I hated it. Myself. Everything. But I can’t feel that. All I can feel is happiness, and it makes me hate myself more because the happiness ends eventually. So to prevent that, I do it again so I don’t have to deal with the consequences. Over and over…”

“A dealer addicted to their own product,” I mused.

“What?”

“Just thinking aloud,” I said with a shake of my head.

She chuckled dryly. “No, that fits perfectly.”

Reaching over, I rested a hand on her arm. She looked down at my hand before looking up at me. “It’s okay if you don’t want to tell me, but may I ask why you are doing this in the first place?”

“Money.” There was no hesitation in her answer. “This school is filled with people who have so much money tossing a few hundred around means nothing to them.”

I said nothing, not wanting to interrupt her or pressure her into sharing more than she was comfortable with. This was an emotionally charged subject for her.

The firmness in her eyes faded as she met my eyes. A light blush formed, matching the spike of embarrassment and guilt in her Noise. Her eyes fell away as she brushed at her hair, removing the strands that had blown into her face. “I can make all sorts of excuses. Single parent. Family struggling to get by. They are only that though: excuses. In the end, I’m doing this because I’m greedy.” She went silent a moment, looking forward across the rooftop. The breeze ruffled her hair, but she ignored it.

“I’m here on lottery. Full ride scholarship for those less fortunate souls. Couldn’t afford this place without it. I knew what this place was. Who doesn’t? To attend classes with the children of the rich and famous; to maybe rub elbows with a celebrity or two, I was over the moon when I got the letter. Mom knew what kind of opportunity this was for me and my future, so we packed up and moved here. I expected people to be rich, but seeing that in action? Freshmen year, I was… ‘friends’—though pet is probably closer to what she saw me as—with a girl who spent more in a single shopping trip than my mom made in a month. Didn’t even blink, just swiped the card. Bitch didn’t even wear half the shit she bought. She just… wanted it.” Her grip tightened against the edge of the bench. “That got to me. It was something that stuck in my head. She threw so much money around, all the neat things she bought, how happy she was? I wanted that too. No matter what.”

Money might have been the fuel, but I had a sense there was something else there. A dark swirl of negative emotions poisoned her Noise. They fed off themselves, consuming all other emotions. Her silence lingered as I watched them consume her, pulling her deeper into their embrace. Running my hand down her arm, I brushed her hand as I pulled it out of its grip on the bench. Taking it in mine, I squeezed. The physical touch halted the negative swirl, slowly breaking them apart like a passing storm as she stared at me.

She looked away. “It started innocently enough. Guys would take me out to fancy places. Buy me things. They had money to burn, so why not? For the first time in my life, I had everything I wanted. More than what I wanted.

“But nothing is free, is it? They were doing all these nice things for me, why not do something for them in return? That was when when I discovered how my Gift interacted with sex. Needless to say, word spread pretty fast. I was turning down dates left and right until someone offered me money. A hundred for ten minutes of my time? I mean, I’d already slept with him once. Why not?” She sighed, shrugging her shoulders. “In a way, I got what I wished for. Where else is a girl with my background going to make two or three hundred for ten minutes work? Fifteen or twenty minutes tops, depending on the guy. Most weeks I can clear well over two grand easy. More for various special requests.” She shook her head, looking at me. “Last year, I made almost three times what my mom did. Three times! Hiding the money is starting to be a real problem.”

She winced as regret, guilt, and disgust colored her Noise. Her hands ran through her hair as she leaned back against the back of the bench. Chloe tried to keep her tone light. “Ugh. This is probably the last thing you want to hear from me.”

“I don’t mind.” It was the truth too. Maybe if I could feel things as she did, this would be difficult to hear. I don’t think most guys would enjoy listening to the girl they liked talk about all the sexual partners she had or that she would continue doing it into the future. Maybe there was a part of me who disliked it too. If it was there, I didn’t sense it and I certainly didn’t go looking for it.

Beyond that, I had an idea that this was therapeutic for Chloe. She was facing this all alone, bottling everything up inside her for years. I was the first possible outlet for her to give voice to all the issues, problems, and feelings she had been facing. Of course it would all come bursting out.

But she wasn’t alone. Not anymore.

“Maybe not, but it is still uncomfortable for me talking about it with the guy I like.” She cast a few looks my way, trying to find a reaction that wasn’t there. Her discomfort grew, swelling in her Noise. I replayed what she said, trying to discover the source of her discomfort. It was easy once I knew to look.

She confirmed that she had feelings for me. I already had a sense of that with what I saw in her Noise, but she was admitting them. It might not have seemed like much, but intent was everything. When you could sense everything a person was feeling, it was important to remember that they had no control over that. Feeling wasn’t a choice. Acting on and expressing it was, and even then there were limits to how effective the control was.

I was about to smile when I remembered her previous comment. Keeping my face natural, I gave her hand a slight squeeze. “I like you too.”

This time, her smile was genuine before she turned away. Her Noise was all over the place, a swirl of positive and negative. She was happy, but also apprehensive.

“Even after all I’ve said, you still want to go out with me?”

“I do.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

I let her Noise surround me as she leaned in and kissed me. The sensation of her lips against mine was a pleasant experience. It wasn’t just the physical touch, but the collection of many small details.

The swell of her Noise and the warm emotions that flowed through it. The sweet floral scent that filled my lungs. The press of her hand against my chest. This combination of sensations all came together to paint a new experience. I didn’t need to feel the emotions she did to appreciate the moment. This was a unique moment for the two of us, and I appreciated every second of it.

Pulling away, she had rolled her lower lip into her mouth as she gave me a shy look. She was happy, but there was something else there.

“What?”

“N-nothing.”

“Chloe…”

“Don’t… uh… take this the wrong way,” she said with a pained expression. “You are a pretty terrible kisser.”

“I see.” My flat voice caused a spike of fear to move about her Noise.

“Not that I didn’t enjoy it! I did! I just—”

As I leaned in, she fell silent. Reaching up, I tipped her head back so she was **** to look into my eyes. “That means we have a lot of practice ahead of us.”

The burst of Noise filled the gaps of my mind once again as peace settled around me. She had a mischievous grin on her face. “Yeah. I suppose it does.”