Wonder Woman

As Harley continued her ghostly stroll through the streets of Gotham, she scanned the surroundings for potential targets. Numerous candidates caught her eye, but she didn't want her first possession to be just any random Joe Schmo. It had to be something with a bit more pizzazz.

"Mmm... maybe I should aim for one of the bats? But they ain't daytime creatures." She pondered, floating aimlessly with a bored expression, deftly avoiding collisions with oblivious pedestrians. Imagining the reactions if people could see her – a phantom clown-girl soaring through their midst – brought a smirk to her face.

Just as she started to reconsider her priorities, a sudden explosion echoed nearby, accompanied by screams and a chaotic rush of people. Even those close to her looked terrified in a certain direction. Before following their gaze, Harley speculated on who might be causing such a ruckus. It couldn't be simply a routine bank heist, too much noise; now, this part of Gotham was usually targeted by Penguin, but only on Mondays and Thursdays, and today was Friday. Friday was Black Mask's day, but he was also out of the picture, now a resident at Blackgate. So, who wasn't sticking to the schedule?

Spotting a familiar silhouette between the skyscrapers, Harley realized it wasn't a Gotham criminal at all.

-That's Giganta!- She exclaimed, while the crowd around her began to disperse. Now, that was unexpected.

-Why is she... yiiiiit, careful lady!- She shouted after one person who almost bumped into her invisible form: -Why is she even here?-.

Doris Zuel, aka Giganta – a scientist with the ability to, guess what, transform into a giant at will – roared something, and she was clearly scanning the area as if in search of someone of something. Harley accelerated in her direction, contemplating her next move. Sure, she wasn't planning on becoming a supervillain, but becoming A FUCKING TITAN seemed really funny. But could she take control of her? Like, was she gonna have to fly into her noggin and enter through there, or would a foot do the trick? Did it work like an elevator?

As she mulled over these thoughts, she noticed someone flying around the furious redhead, delivering several blows before retreating to avoid her enormous hands.

-Oh my God! It's Wonder Woman!- Harley recognized her. She reached the scene of the clash, the cars were overturned, trees uprooted, etc., but her eyes were fixed up in the sky.

-Cease this madness at once, Giganta!- Wonder Woman demanded, skillfully evading her adversary's attacks.

-Stay outta this, princess!!!- Giganta retorted.

-Wonder Woman!!! Hi!!! I'm a big fan!!!- Harley screamed at the top of her lungs, forming her hands into a makeshift megaphone. Wonder Woman seemed unfazed – that's right, she couldn't hear her. At that moment, Giganta snarled in frustration and clapped her palms toward Wonder Woman. The superheroine was hit by the violent air displacement and crashed into the base of a nearby building – an electronics store, judging by the sign.

-Fuck!- Harley rushed to her side to assess her condition. The Justice League member lay amid the rubble, battered and groaning, teeth gritted in an attempt not to lose consciousness.

-Hey, are you ok? Oh dingle, she can't hear me.- But Harley could hear the approaching footsteps of the supervillain. Then it struck her – this was the opportunity she had been waiting for!

A mischievous smile played on Harley's face, followed by rapid breaths.

-Ok, ok, uff, now it comes to the main event! Sorry, princess, I need to hijack you for a bit.- With those words, she turned around and leaped onto Wonder Woman, immediately feeling the familiar sensation of being drawn inside a body. This time, however, things went a bit differently. She sensed squirms and protests, along with Wonder Woman's voice exclaiming: -What in Hera's name is-, then there was a jolt and Harley's eyes flying open. Suddenly, she felt sore all over her body, yet at the same time she was brimming with more energy than ever before.

-Has it worked?- She grumbled in a voice slightly deeper than her usual one as she got to her feet. When she looked down at her hands, however, she gasped, noticing a pair of gauntlets adorning her wrists.

-Oh puddin' poppers!- She exclaimed. She moved to her chest, which wasn't covered in her classical clown-cheerleader attire but rather in some sort of red leotard-armor with a blue skirt circling her waist, and a golden lasso attached to the side.

-Oh puddin' poppers!- She repeated, grabbing two strands of black hair that had fallen onto her vision. She rushed toward a large fragment of the shop's window which was now embedded in the ground. Upon seeing her reflection, she beheld none other than Wonder Woman staring back at her with an incredulous expression.

-Oh puddin' poppers! It freaking worked! I'm the freaking Wonder Woman!- Harley rejoiced, the woman in the glass mirroring all her movements.

-Look at these! Look at this!- She patted first her breasts and then her ass, reveling in their perkiness under her new hands. A devious expression wore Wonder Woman's face, quite out of character for the proud princess, as much as Harley's swing that was twisting her voice.

-I'm Wonder Woman! Heck, I could make her do anything!- But before she could further process the concept, the shop's roof was suddenly uprooted, and Giganta's angry mug was glaring at her from above.

-Here you are, princess!- Without elaborating further, she lifted her foot. 'Wonder Woman' let out an uncharacteristic curse before darting aside, narrowly avoiding being crushed.

-What the hell, Doris? You can't try to stomp people just like this!- She protested. Giganta, clearly not a fan of being complained to, lifted her foot again, but this time Harley was ready and flew outside the shop. She stopped midair for a second, trying to metabolize the situation.

-Here you are Harley, piloting the strongest woman on Earth and fighting for your life. I can fly, of course I can still fly, I'm Wonder Woman! But what else does she pack in her superhero arsenal?-. Meanwhile, Giganta was turning toward her, grunting in contempt. Oh, she was the one enraged?

-Why the heck are you even here? You don't even like Gotham City!-.

Giganta turned red at her question: -That's not your business!!!-.

-I...- Harley stopped for a second. Hold on a sec, she heard some juicy rumors about Giganta a while back. Could it be that...

-You were cozying up to Scarecrow, weren't ya?-.

Giganta fumed: -Wha... how do you know that???-.

-Don't tell me he gave you the old heave-ho or something!- Harley continued. All this destruction just because of a man? Really? (Though, to be fair, she'd done some pretty wild things after breaking with Mr. J).

-He hasn't dumped me! We, we agreed on closing the relationship!- She stumbled on her own words.

-Judging by your reaction, no, he dumped you, sugar.-.

-Shut up!!!- Harley's needling only fueled Giganta's rage, resulting in a direct hit from one of her massive punches, and Harley was hit full-on by one of her punches, sending her soaring through the air.

"Wooooooooaaaaastopstopstop!!!" She managed to slow down and halt, though she held her borrowed nose which had made a bad sound when it met her knuckles. Giganta, thinking she'd gotten rid of her, lumbered away, presumably to find Scarecrow's hideout.

-You crazy broad!!!- Harley yelled, borrowing Wonder Woman's voice: -You can't flatten the entire city just 'cause someone hurt your feelings! Only I get to do that!!! FOR HELA!!! I mean, Hera!- she shot towards her, drawing her lasso and flinging it against her forehead.

But instead of being the knockout blow she'd hoped for, it bounced with a feeble TAP, then dangled limply between her hands. Giganta growled again.

-Ehm, uh, can I get a do-over? Yeek!- Harley narrowly avoided another colossal fist, but she was nonetheless thrown into the air by the sheer ****. She found herself spinning uncontrollably until she crashed to the ground. Sitting up, she rubbed her head.

-Darn it, not making the best first impression.-. Just then, projectiles struck Giganta's head, prompting an enraged howl. Emerging from the clouds came the Batwing with a roar, firing missiles at the colossal target.

"Shit, that's Batsy!!!" Harley's initial instinct, mirrored by the panic on Wonder Woman's face, urged her to flee before Batman could catch sight of her. Then it hit her – right now, she wasn't Harley Quinn; she was his teammate, Wonder Woman!

-Bring it on, Bats!!!- She incited him. Meanwhile, Giganta was shielding herself with her colossal arms, and the Batwing seemed unable to get close enough to her to deliver a decisive strike.

-More than a bat, you look like an annoying fly!!!-.

Harley realized that Batman couldn't take down such a formidable foe alone. But what could she do? She had no clue how to unleash Wonder Woman's full potential, she knew the Lasso of Truth was her mightiest weapon, but she couldn't even wield it properly!

Then, her gaze fell upon a miraculously intact street lamp.

"...or should I?".

Determination flashed in her stolen eyes as she rose to her feet. Sure, she might not know how to fight as Wonder Woman, but she damn well knew how to fight as Harley Quinn! She swung the lasso over her head, hooking it around the lamppost. Ensuring it was well stretched, she then steadied herself.

"Get ready, Giganta! You're about to be defeated by the new superhero Wonder Harley!!!" She pushed off, hurtling forward at top speed. The centripetal **** took over, transforming her into a swirling propeller of gold, blue, and red.

"The bigger they are, the louder they fart! No, it wasn't quite like that... well, anyway, take this!!!" With a powerful scream, she let herself go. Giganta looked down just in time to witness an Amazonian-shaped missile hurtling toward her, and it struck her forehead with a resounding THUMP.

Giganta went down like a ton of bricks, and Harley ricocheted off like a demented pinball. The sky twirled around her, and she felt her stomach doing somersaults. Squashed against a mirror, cheek mashed against the glass, Harley met the bewildered gaze of Batman from the cockpit. She tried to say something but just ended up retching.

As the Batwing landed, Harley crumbled to the ground, standing up with a bunch of mini Ivys tweeting around her head.

-Diana, are you ok?- She heard Batman's baritone coming from behind her.

-Y-Yeah sure thing Batsy... aehm, I mean, of course I am, my skin is as tough as my indomitable spirit!- She quickly corrected herself assuming a triumphant pose with her legs wide and hands on her hips, trying to imitate the real Wonder Woman as best as she could.

Batman raised an eyebrow: -Your fight with Giganta has been quite... theatrical.-.

-Eheheh, yeah, indeed.- Harley chuckled scratching her neck.

-No. I mean...- He pointed out at the sprawled Giganta who, falling, had destroyed another couple of buildings. A guilty grimace colored Harley's stolen face.

-They were... empty, right?-.

-Fortunately, Gotham evacuation programs are tempered by experience.- Batman replied, much to her relief.

-However, Diana, I suggest you have a check-up at the Watchtower. You seem quite... off.-.

-W-What are you talking about, I'm...- Harley paused, thinking at the way Batman had addressed her one second ago. 'Diana', that's right, Wonder Woman's public identity was Diana Prince. Hey, now that she thought about it...

An information flash hit her brain, and she jumped.

-You're Bruce Wayne!!!- She exclaimed. The Dark Knight furrowed his masked brow.

Harley cleared her throat: -I mean... of course, you're Bruce Wayne, I already knew it! And... and I guess you will be busy with your multi-billionaire playboy life... s-so don't worry about me, I will handle Giganta from now!-.

-GCPD is on their way, they will arrest her.- He dampened her enthusiasm: -Anyway, mmh, actually I was leaving to track down Ra's al Ghul in India. I was about to call the Justice League to have someone patrolling Gotham for today.-.

Ra's al Ghul! Revenant ninjas! Harley was about to ask him to go with him, when she realized what he was implicitly asking her: that was the chance she was waiting for!

-No need, Bats!- She patted his shoulder a bit too forcefully, making him groan: -I will take care Gotham City in your place! Trust me, it's in good hands!- she proclaimed, smiling, with a fist clenched in front of her face.

Right then, she heard a damaged palace crumbling down behind her, her long black hair fluttering at the wind raised.

-...that was like that even before.-.

Batman was anything but convinced, but in the end, he sighed: -I suggest you do a check-up again. I suspect a head concussion.-.

That said, he walked back into the Batwing and took off. Harley watched him propel away, then couldn't contain her spirit any longer and started bouncing up and down, squealing in excitement.

-I've been tasked by Batman to protect the city!!! And I even know his secret identity!!! Wait, what about all the others? Who's Superman?- Since she had just needed to focus for a moment on the information before, she did it again, and it worked.

-Clark Kent? A journalist? And what about Flash? Duh, who cares!- She turned toward the sun, wearing her best superheroic expression.

-Fear not, Gotham! For Wonder Harley is here to protect you!-.

Harley jumped up in the sky, leaving a groaning Giganta behind.