Bug Trainer Dick Fest

Intellectually you know that most Pokémon Trainers were men, so the fact that you had been lucky enough to run into a Female Trainer right when you left Pallet Town was a very lucky coincidence. You also knew that most of the trainers you were going to run into would be men.

“I challenge you to a Pokémon Battle!” But when you saw the weird young man jump out of a bush and challenge you to a Pokémon Battle you couldn’t help but feel a sense of disappointment.

Still, might as well get some practice in “All right then, are we doing 1 on 1?”. Besides, if you were going to be the next Champion you needed to start getting some wins on your record.

As the dirty Pokémon Trainer gets a better look at you and you see the enthusiasm leave his face. “Oh, you’re a dude! I thought that since you had an Eevee you might be a chick. Never mind then.” The trainer then turns away from you and back off the side of the road.

You were honestly so surprised that you couldn’t stop yourself from voicing your confusion. “Wait, what?”

The young boy looks at you with a puzzled expression. “You’re a dude, I don’t want to waste my Pokemon fighting a guy.”

“Fuck that, fight me!” While you understood the logic, you weren’t going to become The Next Pokemon Champion if you didn’t fight. Besides…

NOBODY ignores Blue Motherfucking Oak!

It wasn’t as if his pathetic behavior reminded you too much of your own behavior the other day when you ambushed Amber. No, you were just annoyed at being dismissed is all.

The young man looks surprised, but you both know that he can’t refuse. “Fine, let's get this over with. Go Metapod!”

“Go Nidoran!” Arthur could use some exercise and as poison he has a type advantage. This should be easy.

You and the trainer shout out your commands at nearly the same time. “Harden!” “Poison Sting!”

You watch the bug shine as it uses Harden, but that doesn’t stop Arthur’s horn from penetrating its side. “Good job Arthur!” Looks like the practice you did with him paid off because that was a solid hit.

Realizing what just happened, you see the trainer become flustered. “Fuck! You poisoned him! Not cool dude!”

“I mean, yeah, this is a Pokemon Battle.” What did he expect, that you would go easy on him?

The trainer seems to be already losing his cool, but he tries to salvage the situation. “Metapod, Tackle it!”

Your well trained Nidoran easily dodges out of the way of the Metapod’s clumsy tackle. Not one to waste an opportunity, you give your command, “Horn Attack!” and watch with satisfaction as your Pokemon charges at the Metapod, connects with its horn, and sends the bug flying.

Seeing that he has lost, the Pokemon Trainer grumbles. “Metapod, return…” His Pokemon recalled, the young man starts pouting and turns around without addressing you. Although you can hear him mutter “cock blocker” under his breath as he walks away.

You keep an eye on the strange trainer until he is out of eye sight. Once you can no longer see him, you look down at Elly and Arthur. “Well, that was weird… Eh, he was probably just a weirdo.” You were bound to run into a few weirdos on your travels. “Let's now waste any more time on him.”

The strange bug trainer put out of your mind, you continue on the road towards Viridian Forest.

After spending most of the day walking you were now deep into Viridian Forest. You weren’t sure how much further you had to go, but you had come across a few more trainers.

All of them seem to have the same attitude as your first battle of the day. “Come on man, do we have to do this?!”

You look at the Bug Pokemon Trainer, the 5th one that you had come across today and the 3rd since entering Viridian Forest. “We are Pokemon Trainers, we are supposed to battle.” Seriously, what was with these weirdos?

“Yeah, but wouldn’t you rather go wait for some pussy instead of battling me?”

Ok, now that was just rude. “I find the implications that I can’t do both personally insulting.” You were Blue Motherfucking Oak! You would not be insulted. “Go Nidoran!” Arthur had been getting a workout today, even if these trainers had been rather pathetic.

“Go Beedrill!” Oh! That was a surprise! You might actually have to try.

You weren’t worried though. “You got this! Use Peck!”

The Trainer counters with his own command of “Rage!”

Your Nidoran lunges at the Beedrill and manages to get a hit in, only to get smacked back by the Beedrills violent attack. “You got this! Use Peck again!”

“Show that kid who’s boss and use Rage!”

Again Arthur attacks Beedrill and again they trade blows. Only this time Arthur seems to have trouble standing. Damn, maybe you had been pushing him too hard today. Still, “The Beedrill is on its last leg! Finish it off with Peck!” Your Nidoran once again charges at the Beedrill, but Arthur seems to be a little quicker and manages to strike first.

Seeing his Beedrill be defeated, the Bug Trainer grabs his head and starts stomping his feet as he starts throwing a fit like a child. “Noooo… Nooo! NO! NO! NO! This is NOT happening! How am I supposed to get PokeSluts now!”

Ignoring the weird trainer you walk over to Arthur, “You did good buddy.” You pick up the Pokemon, making sure to be mindful of his horns. “Come on, lets get out of here.” You could put him back into his ball, but you figured he deserved a reward. He did just win 5-0 in a single day for you.

But as you walked away you carried the Nidoran in your arms, and away from the 5th crazy bug trainer you had met that day you couldn’t help but wonder.

What was up with these Bug Trainers? “Fucking weirdos”

Author's Notes: Gotta thank Defeated Damsels for the bug trainer picture.