I Feel It Hit Me

I don't know that I feel anything other than heat, than light.

I feel the limits of myself but it's like something inside of me that is beyond me is pushing at those limits. It's like I'm too full with something, something defined by a burning that doesn't hurt and doesn't sting but cleanses instead, reshapes and remakes me into something new.

It pulses hard and fast, throbbing out to the limits of me and making it so that, in an instant, I feel all of myself.

Every inch of my muscles taut and bent to their limits. Pushed so far that they're straining and shaking and shivering and rushing. Rushing onwards as the blood pumps hard through my body and roars in my mind. As all of me goes hot and taut.

And tense. So fucking tense. So tight that it is all that I feel, that my whole body gets a workout in a single blinding instant.

It feels like an eternity to me. Feels somehow like it takes forever but truthfully all it does it make me roar, moaning and shivering in the moment as I shake and tremble and something starts to scream.

It's me. I realize only too late that the guttural animalistic cry is coming from me and that I am bound to it. That I'll be the one with the hoarse throat and the body that is so sore but in the best possible way, like I've been worked out better than I've ever felt before.

And god it builds even more from there. So much that my eyes beneath my blindfold fly open and my mouth falls into a wide O in shock and I just feel myself get pushed up to an even greater height.

For a long time I thought of climaxes like a literal climax. Like the precipice, the very tip, of a tall mountain. You build your way up one side of it and stand at the top and then you drop and that descent is the definition of your pleasure, it's the moment where it is nearly all too much to handle. An adrenaline rush and an utter thrill.

But the truth is, as always, so much more complex than that.

In an instant I am pulled above the peak and tugged up into the air and it happens out of my control. It's like someone launches a hook into the depths of my belly and I am dragged up out of my control. It is all so out of my control but not out of my desire and not out of my wishes because I can think of nowhere else I would rather be and nothing else I would rather do than this.

I need this.

I love this.

I want this.

"Oh god," I moan out, hard and loud and in complete disbelief, "It's so fucking good!"

My body tightens even more. My eyes open and all I see is brightness even though the blindfold keeps me in the dark. My body goes taut and the bonds cut into my wrists, my ankles.

And god it all hurts so much.

But it is like the pain of scratching an itch that you just finally got the chance to tackle and I revel in it. I lose myself in it as that heat pulses through me and I feel the edges of me start to become even more defined until I can sense an inch or more beneath it.

My body burns and my breasts shake and my belly goes taut and I'm arched entirely off the bed and my legs are shaking, my thighs clenched tight around the hand between them and whatever is buried inside of me and it hasn't moved for what feels like forever.

But it's not forever. It's only a moment. It's only a single second or maybe a few more and my mind is the thing that stretches it out and makes it last forever.

But it can't last forever.

But nothing can last forever.

And everything that goes up? It must come down again.

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