Mila Kunis - needs a big man

It's a hot, sticky summer day. The table fan next to you whirls and whizzes, making an annoying clacking sound that pounds your ears. But still, it's better than nothing... barely.

You're playing the nice guy today, working a shift for a co-worker so he can go to his kid's birthday party, or something. Maybe, you think, one day he'll return the favor for you. Unfortunately you had no idea the day would bring this much unbearable heat.

Adult Video is a terrible place to be on such a hot day. It's like a small box, sitting right in the sun. On days like this, you look for anything to take your mind off the unpleasantness and the tedium.

And somewhere around hour ten of your day, something interesting does happen to break the sludge. You spot a gorgeous girl, or at least what you think is a gorgeous girl. You only see her from behind, clad in a pair of short jean shorts and a tight tank-top, with long raven hair. Kinda short but petite, well built with amazing legs. She stands across the store from you, perusing the porn DVD's on the far wall, propping herself up on her tip-toes to reach a video on the top shelf, the muscles in her legs tightening as she does so. At the moment, watching her from behind is quite enough for you to enjoy.

So you amuse yourself. The question of the day is: Is she attractive? When she turns around will she reveal herself to be a cutie or a hideous beast with a great body. Ultimately, of course, it won't matter. Even if she's the most beautiful woman you've ever seen, she'll pick her purchases, grin at you with pity if you're lucky, and you'll never see her again.

Still, attractive is better than not. Attractive is what would count as a victory for your day.

But you lose sight of her as a woman walks up to you at the register with something to buy. This one is a rotund, middle-aged woman, with greasy hair. She smacks the DVD down on the counter without a word. "Well Hung Johnsons #2" is her movie of choice. You roll your eyes inconspicuously and ring her out.

And you think of the irony of you working in a porn shop. As a young man, it didn't take you too long to realize you had something of a gift in your trousers. An unruly eleven inch gift. You even assumed at times that you could be in the adult industry if you'd wanted. And maybe you do want. Then again, maybe you don't. Just because you've got a big member, doesn't mean you want the world to see it.

Not that it's done you much good otherwise. As it turns out, "hey, I've got a big dick" isn't a great pickup line. Which means you're on about even footing as the rest of mankind until you get into the bedroom.

So you send the ugly lady on her way, and glance over to where the attractive one was, only to find that she's moved on. Maybe somewhere else, or maybe she left without buying anything. Your luck.

Or your luck is up. Scanning the store, you notice her again around the adult toys. And you get back to wondering whether or not she's attractive, as you wait... and wait... and wait.

Then finally, she seems to pick something off a shelf, turn and head in your direction. You don't have a good view of her, but she looks quite pretty from what you can see. Then, as your pants start to tighten, just a bit, she's upon you.

She is. Gorgeous. Amazingly beautiful with dark hair, red smiling lips and shockingly, two differently colored eyes. You spend so much time looking at her individual features, it takes you a moment to piece them together.

Holy shit. You know her. Well, maybe not personally, but she's either actress Mila Kunis or her exact twin.

She places her purchases down on the counter before you. A DVD titled "Deep Throat Honeys 12" and a dildo... the largest you sell... the 12 inch "Goliath."

And you decide that there's no way this is Mila, no way she'd be purchasing these things. Until she speaks. Then it's undeniable.

"This isn't for me by the way" she says with a wicked smirk, or is it a shy smile?

It's almost difficult to concentrate on ringing her out instead of staring at her beauty. But you try, scanning the DVD, then the dildo in it's massive box. You read the total off the computer screen. "Fifty-six dollars and fifty cents."

"What?" Mila is shocked. "How is that possible?"

You glance at the items. "Um... fifteen dollars for the DVD and forty for the.... um.... yeah. Plus tax." You gulp.

"For forty bucks, that thing better be hot sex in a box." Mila says. Again you're not sure if she's mad or teasing.

You shrug, thinking it kinda is. But instead you hear yourself say, "I thought it wasn't for you."

"Well it better be hot sex for whoever it's for." She winks. Your heart jumps. Your big cock hardens more. She is playing with you.

And suddenly you feel bold. You think, you've done your good deed for the day, working a double, now it's time to be a little daring. How can it hurt? Who knows what might come of it.

As Mila reaches into her purse for a credit card you speak up. "I'll tell you what..."

She looks up at you.

"How about we say... it's on the house..." You can't believe you're making the proposition to Mila Kunis.

"If?" She knows you're going somewhere with it.

So you go there. "If... you tell me who and what it's for." There it is. You've made your offer.

Mila stares at you for long time, her mouth twisting itself in thought.

"Fifty six dollars, on the house, for just a story." You try to make your point once more, but no more, not wanting to be too pushy.

"If I tell you, are you going to sell this story to TMZ or something?" she says, her finger spiraling around a lock of her long dark brown hair.

"If i did, would they believe me?" You answer automatically, then realizing she could be making the whole thing up. It could be for her anyway. Or not. Still, you may just find out.

Mila shakes her head. "Okay... okay.... you want the truth?"

"I'd prefer it." you say, you and your big dick anticipating anything.

"Here goes..."