Delphi receives an indecent offer.

“Please Viela, we can’t keep running around campus without clothes. It’s awful! The breeze is chilling, the leaves prickle you when you try to hide, I keep stepping on mud, and everyone makes fun of us!” Delphi pleaded her case with puppy eyes.

“We even tried to improvise some clothing out of grass and leaves, like my Wood Elf forebears. Harder than it sounds! We couldn’t make them stick, and we abandoned that idea altogether when we almost fashioned loincloths out of poison ivy,” Taggie added, cringing and closing her legs as she recalled the event.

“You know what? I like this conversation. Very funny, good mental pictures to think about later.”

“And no one wants to help us, it’s like they made a pact or something.”

“We did, yeah. You stripped the whole college, remember? Also, you ruined some of our oldest trees. But don’t worry, we elves are a forgiving bunch, in a few years, or months if you are lucky, everything will be water under the bridge…”

“You can’t be serious…”

“That does remind me. You two have been skipping classes. We are a college, so you have to attend, or I’ll be **** to throw you out.”

“B-b-but we can’t go naked!” Delphi protested. “Everybody already treats us like the campus clowns!”

“We are respected elven scholars, not your personal jesters!” Taggie growled, slapping the table.

“You are troublemaking students throwing a tantrum, but fine. Here, as an extra, you can have these totally non-enchanted panties. I only have one in stock, so you’ll have to share. If you want more, properly follow the procedure next time.”

“S-share?” Delphi mumbled, looking at the piece of underwear.

Well, to call it underwear is a stretch, more like a string. Taggie grabbed the piece and put it on in a huff. The outline of her pubic hair was visible at the sides, and her butt cheeks were not remotely covered. “Unbelievable, can’t believe we wasted so much time here! Thanks for nothing, Viela.”

“Wait, I also have this for you!” Viela quickly tossed something to Taggie. It was a hat… with horns and bells. Taggie tossed it into the ground and stomped on it as she left the office. The arrow in Delphi’s shirt magically moved to update “Idiot’s” location in relation to her. “Don’t forget to go to class, or you’ll get expelled,” Viela remarked.

“Err, I guess I’ll be going too…” Delphi stood up, dragging the shirt down as much as she could.

“Wait, Horny,” Viela stopped Delphi. The headmistress leaned on the table, clasping her hands. “ I can’t give you the key to Idiot’s room, but if you want to move out and get a new roommate, that’s within my power. You don’t have to stick with her, you know?”

“I…I” What? Delphi could go back to sleep under a roof? No more bugs waking her up in the middle of the night? She shook her head, Taggie would be devastated if she abandoned her. “Thanks, but I’ll pass. I can’t betray my friend like that-”

“Friend? Oh, don’t be coy. We both know the real reason you don’t want to leave her. She has a nice ass, doesn’t she?”

“W-what? No! I-y-yes? Maybe? …I-I mean, I didn’t notice...” Delphi pressed her index fingers together, eyes shuffling back and forth.

“Yes, you did. You stare at her the same way a dehydrated woman stares at an oasis in the middle of the desert. You two would make quite the cute couple, I always thought so.”

The purple blush in Delphi’s cheeks extended all over her face. She was looking surprisingly similar to the eggplant in front of her. “I don’t-”

“And…” Viela continued, ignoring the blue elf. “There are special dispensations that the college affords to couples, you know? You could get a new couple’s room together, with only one bed.”

“Really?”

“Yep, all you have to do is convince Idiot over there to admit being your other half. Food for thought. Now, please, I believe you have a class starting soon.”