Kim meets mainline Kim in a bizarre place

“Ahhhhhhh!” Kim screamed, feeling the rush of the wind caress her skin. Her body tensed up as she wobbled back and forth, only a flimsy rope under her feet keeping her from falling into the chasm. Well, that and the balancing pole in her hands.

Kim’s instincts kicked in, and her body somehow managed to balance herself with the aid of the heavy rod, which hung somewhat loose in front of her shaved sex. Kim was walking a tightrope between cliffs, green hills stretching as far as the eye could see.

As the chilling bite of the wind reminded her, she wasn’t wearing any clothes. Instead, it seemed like her outfit was hanging out from the tips of the pole. On the other side of the rope was a scary-looking skeleton dude with a cow head, and behind him was a crystal palace that seemed ripped out of a fairy tale.

Against her better judgment, Kim looked down. To her relief, it did not look like a fatal fall. A calm river flowed underneath her. Still, it didn’t look like a pleasant dip, the waters seemed cold and murky, with tadpoles, frogs, and other disgusting critters.

Ok, no. Clara was wrong. The situation was beyond absurd, there was no logical or plausible explanation for such a bizarre world. She couldn’t even recall what nonsensical sequence of events led the rope-walking Kim to do this stunt.

“What the hell is going on?!” Kim yelled out of frustration, having almost tripped after taking a shaky step forward. “Why am I doing this?”

“Because this is the only path mortals can use to enter the Hall of the Fairy Queen,” the skull cow replied. “You wanted to get in, remember?”

“What?! Who are you? Why am I naked? What are the answers to my Philosophy exam?” Kim dared to ask, her torso still swaying left and right precariously.

“I’m the Guard, I don’t know this test you speak of, and you are naked because the Rope of Judgement can only hold the weight of a good-natured soul and the Pole of Balancing. Having even a feather on your ear will make it snap under your feet. You attempted to cheat by putting your clothes on the ends of the pole, but it only made balancing more difficult.”

“But why do I want to go to see the Fairy Queen?”

The skeleton shrugged. “Ask yourself.”

“Right…” Kim said. “I had enough of this acid trip, thank you very much,” Kim readied to throw herself off the cliff so that she could return to a saner dream. Before she did, however, she heard a voice in her head.

“Wait, don’t!”

“Who said-WHOA!” With that little distraction, Kim lost the little balance she had and slipped off the rope. Just before she splashed on the cold water, she blacked out and journeyed towards the next dream.