Grace’s tears.

Our house was relatively small, so we didn’t have a guest room. Of course, that meant Grace and I would sleep in my room together, in the same bed, all cuddly and letting the hands roam freely until we couldn’t resist our urges.

…

Yeah, I wish. Grace WOULD sleep in my bedroom, but I had to move down to the couch in the living room. Honestly, I didn’t mind. I wasn’t gonna let Grace sleep in the couch, and this one my personal goodbye to this old piece of furniture before we changed it for the new couch that would hopefully arrive on the 26th. Still pissed about that. I should’ve arrived on the 23rd, but of course there was a delay on the holidays.

Anyway. I was trying very hard to fall asleep, but it was difficult. I was laying on the couch, wrapped in blankets, while Grace was in my bed just upstairs. So, so close yet so, so far. Was I willing to risk Isabelle hearing us and mom catching us?

…

No, not really, so I just turned around, got comfortable and closed my eyes, deliberately not thinking about how Grace was in her pajamas in my bed, rolling around, her shirt dragging itself up and exposing her belly…

Man, this is hard. At some point I looked at my phone to see what time it was. 3:00 am. So when I heard someone trying to stealthily come down the stairs, I immediately turned to look. I smiled when I saw Grace, but then that smile immediately went away when she came closer.

Grace was crying.

She was barely making any noise, and while I couldn’t see her face perfectly in the dark, it didn’t seem like she was a mess of tears. It was so sudden, unexpected. I felt my heart sinking and freezing in fear and worry.

“Were you asleep?” she asked softly, noticing me sitting up.

I shook my head. “What happened?”

“I…” She chuckled weakly. “I’m being dumb. Again. Can I… sit here with you?”

I sat down properly on the couch, made space and opened my blanket for Grace to get in with me. She was happy to do it, snuggling close to me under the covers.

Now seeing her up close, it could tell her cheeks were damp and her eyes slightly red. She must’ve been crying in my room before coming down. I wrapped an arm around her waist, pulled her close and kissed her cheek.

“What were you thinking about?” I asked her. I didn’t need mind reading to know she wanted to talk about it. She wouldn’t have come down otherwise.

“Too many things.” She leaned on me and looked for my hand, interlocking fingers when she found it. “What we talked about during dinner about my parents, being in your room… My head started making connections.”

I stayed quiet and listened, gently caressing her hand.

“I… act like I don’t care about what my parents do. I tell myself it doesn’t matter, but… I do care, and it matters to me. They didn’t fight, you know? During the last couple years they barely even spoke. I don’t know if that’s better or worse.

“They only care about their jobs, about earning money. So long as I’m doing well in school, they don’t give a rat’s ass about anything else. My dad doesn’t care that I have boyfriends, and even though my mom now loathes men, she doesn’t care, either. All I have to do is be the best at school and I can get away with anything.”

I grimaced. It sounded like any teenager’s dream, but in reality it was anything but, and Grace knew it better than anyone.

Tears began to fall down her cheeks again. Not many. She wasn’t bawling, but neither was she holding herself back. She was simply letting out what needed to come out.

“Mila, Sarah and Alice are my sisters,” she said, sniffing. She was trembling slightly and bit her lip. “They’re my world. If something happens to them, I’ll gladly go to hell just to let them smile again.” She chuckled weakly again. “But you know that. You know how much they mean to me.”

I smiled fondly and nodded.

Grace swallowed, and her smile became genuine. “And then I met you. You were just a random, handsome guy I met at a party. So awkward, harmless and cute that I couldn’t help but want to tease you, and when I saw that Mila and Sarah were also interested… Well, we had nothing to lose. Like I said, you were harmless. No one would believe you if you said you had a foursome with us.”

I chuckled. “That’s true.”

Grace chuckled with me. “I just wanted a wild night, to try something I’d never done before because I knew I’d face no consequences.” She sighed. “And now I’m in your bed, trying to sleep, remembering my parents and being overcome by fear that I’ll one day may… lose you. You. A guy I’ve known for five months. A guy I hung out with because he was good in bed. A guy I let sleep with four other women. You were just a random guy, but now I’d burn the world if something ever happened to you.” Grace began to shake. She looked down, not daring to look at me. Her voice became weaker. “I don’t… I don’t want you to leave me. It terrifies me. You can sleep with any girl you want, you can have as many girlfriends or lovers as you want, but please, please…” Her voice cracked. “Don’t leave me.”

It was heart wrenching to hear her. Grace had opened up before, but I’d never seen her so ****, so weak, so scared. She was willing to let me get away with anything just so I’d stay with her?

…

It wasn’t right.

It just wasn’t.

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