A Restless First Night

That night, sleep didn’t come easy. At your side, your wife was curled up snugly beneath her blankets. She was asleep, probably. Alone, in the dark, your brain was left with endless time to think. Time to ruminate over what you’d just agreed to. In the morning, things were going to change. {if **** = false}Your relationship was going to be open{endif}{if **** = true}Your wife would need to obey him now{endif}. Unsurprisingly, you were awash with a complex slate of emotions.{if Therapist = true}

(Therapist) Every so often you glanced back at Kaori, to make sure she was sleeping. You could always tell, based on her kitten-like snoring. Although, when you looked at her tonight, you noticed something. Did she always sleep clutching that stuffed animal? The pink stuffed dog.{endif}

You turned back up to face the ceiling, a suppressed sigh coming to your lips. There was simply no way you could stop thinking about it. The longer you were left alone with them, the more powerful those thoughts became.{If **** = true}

(****) You knew that your wife had **** but to submit to her blackmailer’s demands. Acceptance was the only option. Still, that was in reality. In your thoughts and fantasies, you played it out a different way. You told her not to do it. That you’d fight the consequences together. Soon, you’d expose him for the creep he was, and there would be justice.

Justice for her. Justice for you.

Yet, such a thought could only be a dream. You’d already told her that she could do it. You’d already accepted his unreasonable demands. It might have still been possible to renege on the deal somehow. To tell her not to do this. Yet, you knew how impossible that would be. That door was closing fast, and all you could do was watch. You had an irrational swelling of claustrophobia. A feeling like something that was being done that couldn’t be undone.

At the time, it had been an irrational thought…{endif}{if Cuck = true}

(Cuck) That’s when the realization struck you. The onset of reality that had been suspended by your elation and disbelief. This was real. You had finally told her, after all these years, about your most shameful, most secret, fantasy. What you’d kept bottled up for so long and now been set free.

More than that! She hadn’t just listened and accepted you. She wanted to try it. She was actively making plans to make it a reality. You were, finally, going to be a cuck for real!{endif}