Nick is stunned.

I can’t believe it. Not in a facetious way, but literal, I CANNOT believe it. There has to be some kind of trick. Some Instagram filter on the mirror. Some angle where I can see them but not myself. But the more I twist and turn, the more I feel and even lick at my puffy swollen lips, the more I wiggle my shaped eyebrows, the less I can believe there’s a trick.

Both Marcy and Ella start to look concerned, and Sarah pulls them gently away as Marci is saying “Baby girl, are you all right?”

Sarah says something calming to them then returns and pulls a stool over and sits next to me, looking at me in the mirror. With her so close I actually see more of myself in the reflection. But I see that it’s just because I’m comparing her beautifully made-up face to my plain one. If I had makeup on like hers….

“Nick. I can see this is a little more than you can bear. I’d planned on Ella walking you through the haircare and even working on your makeup, but we’re going to get you home. Okay? Lemme just talk it over with Ella and Marci as you’re really freaking them out.”

Turning to face me I see Sarah pull my hair back a bit and kiss me on the cheek. A few hours ago, I’d have blushed and been out of breath from that intimate touch, but I still can’t… how can that be me?

While Sarah is talking to Marci, I see Ella rush out of the salon. Five minutes later she comes in with a blue university hat. Sarah nods, gives Marci a hug, then comes back to me. It takes her a few moments to pull and tug at my hair, but she finally gets it all underneath the hat, leaving just a few errant pink hairs squeezing out in the back. “There. No one will see your hair. Wear the hat low like that, don’t try to adjust it, and look at your feet and no one will see your lips or your brows. Now, follow me.”

Sarah grabs my hand and guides me out of the chair and out of the salon with a final wave to the stylists. I can see that most of the mall is already closed, and we have to exit on this side and walk around. I follow Sarah’s recommendation and watch my sneakers very carefully, while Sarah leads me by gripping my arm with both of hers. When we’re halfway around the mall I hear a guy call out from behind us “Hey girl! Why don’t you drop your skinny boyfriend and come hang out with us!”

Instinct takes over and I turn toward the voice. I mentally skip over the part where he referred to me as Sarah’s boyfriend and move right to the rudeness of calling out to a girl like that in a dark parking lot. What I see though is four guys sitting in the back of a pickup truck, all drinking, while the driver is leaning out of the driver’s side window and leering at us. His smirk turns into a full on smile though as he starts to get out. “Oh hey, I’m sorry baby! You two girls are both welcome to hang out! We have brews, tunes, and…”

I’m frozen for a moment as it hits me that he sees me as a girl. Just by me facing him, even without the hair. My eyebrows and lips alone are enough, although the dark and his **** state probably help. But still! “Sarah responds in a different way than I had planned by putting her knees together, putting her hands on her knees, bending forward and saying in a full on bimbo voice “Sorry boys, but we have our, like, plans. Maybe we’ll, um, like catch up laters! Byyyeee!”

And then she simply turns me around and starts walking at the same exact speed away. No hurry, no rush.

The rest of our trip to her car and our drive to her house are uneventful. She guides me inside and leads me to the kitchen. Was it just last night that we shared pizza and talked about ‘the whats’? Well… what the hell am I going to do?

Sarah pulls my hand across the table and holds it in both of hers. “I’m sorry Nick, I thought you knew that the only way you’d make this much this fast was to play it up as a girl. I thought… well, I thought you were joking when you were asking me all that stuff about the headset and the paint and the earrings. I mean… you didn’t make a peep when we bought all those skirts and panties and stockings. Did you think those were for me?”

I looked up at her with a shrug, now further embarrassed by my own nativity in addition to the lack of spine I’d shown all day. Why didn’t I just stand up for myself and make her explain while all that shopping was going on around me. I look down at our hands and shake my head. “Yeah. I thought they were for you. Maybe you didn’t have regular skirts and stuff. I don’t know, I didn’t give it much thought, I was just following along with dreams of becoming a streaming star.”

She pats my hand and smiles. “And you ARE going to be a star. I guarantee it. I’ve known a few guys that dress it up for the audience. Makeup, hair, clothes. Some go all out and hard to tell that they’re not real girls, but you? You have the face. I don’t mean that as an insult as it’s pretty hot on a guy too, but your face’s curves and bone structure just screams girl. With your hair, brows, and lips alone, you couldn’t tell your own face at first. I mean, you couldn’t tell for quite a while! Now imagine what people are going to see when we get you in some makeup, a sexy little number, and get you talking like the girly girls you like to watch.” Her smile returns at full brilliance as she blinks at me several times. “I mean, you liked watching me!”

I look in her eye and as much as I want to smile and laugh this off, to play calm and fine for her, I still have that core of myself that’s freaking out. And there isn’t any hiding that. “What about class? I have chemistry lab every week. Am I just going to go in like this and act like nothing has changed? Everyone will think I’m… and what about PC Master Race Relations? I work some shifts there. It’s not for the cash either, the owner really helped me out and I owe him! And then there’s my Dad. Am I going to go home for Thanksging and just… oh God, what’s Dallas going to think of his big brother as a drag queen…. Oh I’m going to… HEY!”

Sarah reaching across and slapping me across the cheek was the last thing I expected. And she didn’t’ hold back as my hat flew off letting my pink hair fly around my head. “Calm? Good. I mean, we can go over all of that and there’s ways to make it all work. But there’s no reason to freak out. Freaking out doesn’t help you, help your situation, or help me.”

Sarah’s hand returns to gripping mine while I bring my free hand up to my slapped cheek to rub it. “Let’s see, class? That’s a simple one. You say it’s just the lab right? I took that last year and unless it changed you check in, do your work, then go home to write up your work. You don’t turn it in. So all you need is a fake ID to get into the class. They’re running the labs for so many classes that no grad assistant is going to bother looking you up. You do your work, you come back, and then your turn in your proof. No one’s going to suddenly KNOW that Nick Oaks wasn’t in the lab and no one is going to know that the pretty girl with the pink hair isn’t taking any classes at the U.”

I open my mouth to voice my doubts but Sarah continues. The computer shop? Just send him an email saying you can’t pick up any shift but you know he helped you out and you found this cute little Chicca that can come in to lend a hand. You can even say she needs to get paid in cash. I’ve seen that place and I’m almost positive he’ll be willing to save on paying taxes, especially when he’ll get to look at you while you bend over some broken computer!”

I pull back, now stuck imagining Alan googling ME.

“Sarah just keeps going. “As for your family, yeah that one sucks. I honestly didn’t know how close you were to your family. I guess I was projecting as I don’t have any relations with mine. I have a sister and a brother, but no Dad and I haven’t seen mom in a year and a half. If she moved, I wouldn’t know about it. But you can keep in contact with them via email and phone calls… though probably not phone calls, more on that later. But you can keep up with them. And once you’re comfortable with all this, you can let them see how you make all the big bucks you’re making.”

She pats my hand and leans closer. “Look Nick, absolutely nothing we’re going to do will change who you are. Six, eight months from now you’ll still be a straight cis guy. You’ll just be one that looks so convincingly like a girl that people…” she seems hesitant but pushes forward “…well, mostly men, but people pay to watch to game. IF doing this wakes up something in you and you change, well then it’s a blessing that we did this as you might not have come up on that part of your life for years and years. But it wouldn’t have happened because of this.”

Letting go of my hand, Sarah picks up her phone, taps at it for a few moments then sets it back down. “I ordered us some take-out. Chinese from Wok’n’Roll. It’ll be here in a few. In the meantime, let’s get your ponytails out as I’m sure they feel strange. We don’t need to talk any more about this tonight, but we’ll NEED to talk about it tomorrow. M-kay?”

While Sarah is unloading the car, thankfully saying that I don’t need to go outside if I’m not ready, I go to the bathroom and spend twenty minutes looking at my face. Taking the ponytails out helped, but only a little. I had to stare and search to find me in this girl. I could see what Sarah meant… add some makeup, talk like one of the female streamers, add some clothes… and yeah, no one at all is going to see Nicholas the Great.

When the food arrives we sit down. We both bite into the egg rolls and both our stomachs sing their thanks for this food. I hadn’t realized just how hungry I was and soon I was lost in the act of eating. When we finally finish up, eating up every scrap including the nasty fortune cookies, Sarah look earnestly at me and asks “So… do you want to talk more about this tonight, or…”

I blurt out “Tomorrow. I need more time to process this. I need to sleep on it. I promise, I’ll be ready to discuss it, but I’m just too flighty right now and can’t get anything straight in my head. Is that okay.”

Sarah smiles, moves across the table to give me another kiss on the cheek and says happily “Babe, that’s more than okay, it’s fine. I’ll gonna get a quick stream in while you head to bed. Towels and wash clothes are in the bathroom if you want to get a shower in. I’ll see you in the morning!”