Down Where It's Wetter (Part 8: 13 Vs. 100,000)

Cover Story: From The D*cks of the World Continued - Vol. 9

York had a very important job on Egghead. Her life was to be the Vegapunk's designated 'greed' sattelite. Jobs like sleeping, eating, and drinking fell to her, as the other five Vegapunks all had their own roles to fill. However, recently, she'd found that she needed to focus on being the masturbator as well. Having your personality split into a group of six plus the original means six libidos to manage. Otherwise their group brain would be focused on nothing but sex. It had already leaked into Lilith quite a bit, who had invented a few extra gadgets to help the lazy York in her quest, but even then there had been a few interself orgies to try and quell the lusts floating around. Not that York minded at all. Her eternally leaky pussy felt amazing no matter what was being shoved up it.

The sword bigger than my body sliced down my chest like my skin was made of warm butter.

Pain. Sharp, blinding, pain.

The world came to a halt as I heard Robin’s voice scream my name in the distance.

I could only think of one question as my vision became darker and darker.

How did I get here?

After finishing with Shirahoshi we’d split up, with Sanji and I sneaking our way to the palace. Expecting a huge rescue effort to get our four missing companions, but finding them powering up in the entranceway. Perona treating all three of them to her lewdly splayed out body, much to Sanji’s chagrin.

There wasn’t time to waste, we had to hide inside the Sunny while silently floating above the plaza where so many fishmen were gathering for the public execution of the monarchy. Shirahoshi, Jinbei, and Megalo were tied up, though when Luffy burst from the mouth of the shark it had really kicked off.

The Sunny had landed, and I had been dragged from my hiding place on the ship by an overly enthusiastic Franky.

All to say, I hadn’t expected to be standing here.

Side by side with pirates, fighting an armada of 100,000 fishmen for the fate of an entire island. Swords, teeth, guns, all surrounded the thirteen of us. It felt like the whole world was threatening me…

Yet the other twelve didn’t seem to care in the slightest.

“Nami-swan! I saved the idiots! Do you love me now?!”

“Liar. We were waiting for you by the entrance.”

“Yeah! They were all powering up with my body! I’ll take the title of cutest crew member now~”

“For our battle prep, my King treated us to sharing his prize of Shirahoshi.”

“WHAT?! This is criminal! I wanted to gaze upon the panties of the mermaid princess!”

“Fufu. She doesn’t have any, we thoroughly checked.”

“Ow! We have two new weapons, who wants to ride them?”

“Woah! New weapons?!”

“I wanna! I wannnaaa!”

“Wimpy-hoshi is gonna be in danger.”

“Her capture was unexpected. She’ll have to escape on her own.”

“Shirahoshi-chan, here’s the document.”

“Ah! Thank you very much everyone! This is the hope of Fishman Island that my mother left behind!”

The crowd above us were all cheering, applauding to the saviour pirates even if Luffy didn’t seem that happy about it.

“Amazing! The pirates are here to save us!”

“I think I heard they powered up with sex!”

“Did Hody do that too?!”

The area all seemed to focus on Hody and his gaggle of lackeys, all looking rather frowny by the question.

“No one wanted to do it with us, dosun!”

“Gnash… we can’t threaten these damned mermaids, or it wouldn’t be consensual anymore!”

“I made myself celibate on purpose.”

“Grr, the weak have nothing to do but cling onto their pathetic goopy hopes! I’ll dry them up in an instant!”

Hody just kept quiet. Sitting on his throne with an awfully gruffled frown, all while the Straw Hats quietly laughed at him from where they stood.

…

How the fuck were they all so calm?!

“Experience…” Robin once more seemed to read my mind, I think my face portrays my emotions more than I realise, “And trust. Luffy has said he will kick the ass of that man, and I have yet to see him break his word.”

As if on cue, Luffy walked forwards to the sea of a hundred thousand fish. Unphased by their charge, uncaring in their blades and teeth, all he did was look at them…

And we were down to 50,000.

I wasn’t exactly surprised by Dragon’s kid having the same conqueror’s haki as him. Waves and waves of Marines had fallen to that tattoo’d scowl, though the other Straw Hats were fairly surprised with how strong their captain was. At least he wiped out half. Maybe I wouldn’t be needed as much now? Why didn’t I take up Franky’s offer and get into one of his weapons…

“Get them!”

The gravelly voice of Hody Jones echoed throughout the arena. His trident pointing at us as the sounds of stamping feet began to pick up again.

I really hadn’t been expecting to get into a fight. My body wanted to run, but my heart refused to leave Robin here alone. Couldn’t help but feel naked with no weapon as so many superiorly stronger villains ran at us. Sound getting louder. Angry yells, gunshots. The team around me seemed to be growing excited, cracking knuckles and subtly changing their outfits for whatever reason. Even Robin lowered her sunglasses, while I shook in place.

It was so quick after such a buildup.

A tank and a motorcycle exploded from the Sunny, running over various enemies that had gotten close. Sanji and Zoro were gone, just a trail of destruction from their first attacks. I couldn’t see anyone really anymore, lost in the chaos of the fight so immediately. Dancing fishmen, shards of emerald armour, flying enemies, I had no idea where to even look! Only Robin was still near me while I huddled near the protective shell of the boat that had dragged me here.

“W-what do I do now?!”

Hands and arms grew from the chest of several fishmen surrounding us, they looked confused before a flurry of slaps sent the entire lot of them crashing to the ground.

I looked back at Robin, she had such a powerful demeanour amongst the legion of strong combatants that made everything she did look effortless. With a simple smile from behind her shades she looked back at me, “Fight, Natsuo.”

“HYAH!”

I dodge just in time to miss a large cutlass from cutting me in twain.

Right.

Fight.

I can do this! I’ve been in the wars these assholes seemed to dream of! I can show them the horrors they so dearly desire!

With a mighty swing, my fist soared forward to the fishman who tried to gore me, connecting with his jaw as strong as I could muster!

He only blinked.

“Huh?” He asked, patting the area I’d just attacked, “Whut wuzzat?”

It… it didn’t do anything. Not even an impact! It was like my knuckles just glided right over his damned fishy skin!

We both looked at each other confused for a single beat.

Without an answer to what happened, he decided just to kill the apparent weakest man on the battlefield. Raising his arms, cutlass in hand, ready to swing down at me again.

But it was then I noticed something.

He was… he was telegraphing the attack like crazy, right? Like, for some reason he thought I wouldn’t easily be able to dodge such an obvious slice downwards. How could I not when his creaky bones sounded like they were going to fall apart any moment?

Blue arms would be going straight down to land itself between my feet. But he sees me readying to dodge, so after that I can see his body twisting already to go for a side slice to get my belly while pinning me against the Sunny. Hasn’t thought about a third attack, willing to blindly wing it if I dodge again, but after that his feet will have overreached and he’ll need to balance out again or fall over.

So I have to try and figure out how to attack him during his moves.

Side jump, another jaw punch that glides over his skin.

Slip around his next diagonal upwards attack, don’t let him follow my movements, and I slam my knuckles into his back.

He twists awkwardly, striking at where he thinks I am, dodge just out of the way and throw as many punches as I can towards his chest.

NOTHING?! REALLY?!

“O-oi…” He mumbles after my onslaught of 0 damage blows, “W-whatz you doin’?”

“Attacking you?”

“Zen why’z it f-feel like y-you’re making me better?”

The fishman was blushing.

This was perhaps the weirdest fight I’d ever been in, and it was entirely my fault.

I think I was inadvertently massaging him.

Robin and I joked about it, but were my hands only built for pleasure now? On this battlefield of war, that I was so confident in boldly proclaiming my experience, had I made my only weapon a peaceful assistant to the enemy?

Even now I could see my hands had done too good of a job. The creaky bones of a man who had clearly had too much to drink every night of his life were now happily creak free. He was standing taller, looking more limber in his arm movements, and generally had a happy smile on his face.

I should have charged him for my services.

NOW HOW THE FUCK DO I BEAT HIM?!

“Youz can’t trick me human!” He seemed to catch onto my frustrations, pointing his cutlass at me once more, “Imma gonna keel you for makingz me try n trust you!”

With a yipe I continued to dodge his slices. It had gotten even harder to do so because I was apparently the biggest moron on the ocean floor, and have now fixed up the menial grunt I was facing.

No way to fight back. No way to dodge forever. I could call out for Robin, but what kind of man am I if I can’t help take down even one of the five hundred thousand?

After one particularly close swipe that nearly ripped the shirt from my torso, my hands instinctively chopped his wrist. That fishman karate evening that Koala hosted potentially paying off for someone who wasn’t about to cure arthritis with their attack.

Though, weirdly, it did do something.

This motherfucker dropped the cutlass.

His slight moan I could have done without, but thanks to that and his shaking hand, it finally struck me that I DID have a weapon.

Massage wasn’t just a tool for making beautiful women ‘gasm. I could fight back with it.

And this fishman knew it too.

“W-waitz!” He begged, putting his palms up to try and stop me from descending upon him like a strange physical therapist vulture. It didn’t stop me.

“Don’t worry!” I reassured him as my hands gripped his raised wrists, massaging the tendons deeply enough that they relaxed in my tightened grip, “I’m a professional!” My massager mind was going into turbo overdrive. I knew I knew these things, but to have them show so clearly as I fought him, like I could see his entire nervous system laid out before me ready to be poked and prodded. The blue man’s muscles were not used enough, by digging my knuckles into the space under his ribs he could breathe more easily to promote blood flow. Said blood was gaining heat as it travelled upwards from my elbow jabbing hard into his solar plexus, and subsequent finger jabs into brachial plexus would render his shoulders in a pleasured slump, before the rush of feeling would reach his brain. And with one final cranial grip to relax every last muscle on his damn body…!

He fell in front of me. Sleeping off the best massage of his fucking life.

“YES!” I screamed in victory, “I DID IT! ROBIN I GOT A KNOCKOUT!”

“Just the one?” Perona snickered as she floated past me, a trail of depressed fishmen in her wake, “You’re not very strong, are you?” Her mockery only powered me up more and I threw one of my fingers up towards her.

“Hey! Don’t make me massage you!”

She didn’t even seem to acknowledge me anymore, floating towards the direction of someone more interesting I guess.

Whatever. Without me the Straw Hats would have to face a hundred thousand, but now they’re only facing nine hundred and ninety nine thousand, nine hundred and ninety nine!

…

“Your parents fought for me because they knew that they could make a difference. Those who lord above us want to kill anyone that’s weak. Anyone that doesn’t fit their mould. But the one thing they don’t have is numbers. Gareth and Petra knew that, and they staked their dying breaths on making any difference that they could, for your damned future.”

Fuck… why am I still thinking about Dragon at a time like this?

Just comes with the territory I guess. Battlefield. Blood being spilled. Men fighting to the **** to keep freedom under the thumb of someone strong. This is Dragon’s MO all over. I always thought I hated him… but I don’t want to stop fighting either. There’s so many fishmen up there watching us, hoping deep down that Luffy stops Hody Jones and saves the royal family.

So I guess I have to just keep fighting.

Like mom and dad did…

In the midst of battle, there was one swordsman who felt no fear from the fishmen. Easily trying out new moves, testing if any warrior could prove a challenge to him on the battlefield. Few were even worth the workout. But for the New World that lied ahead it felt good to let loose a little.

Yet when someone drifted near him, he did feel anxious. Nervous. Annoying emotions that caused his blood to boil and pool in his cheeks.

For you see, a single question had to be asked. One he did not want to ask, but out of the honour in his heart he knew he had to. The pink haired girl was giggling away with sadistic glee as his statuesque shoulders stomped over to her.

“Who do you want me to kiss?”

Perona hadn’t been expecting such a gruff voice to appear behind her, and the girl shrieked a little in fear. Almost sending a negative hollow into her boyfriend’s body before realising what he’d just asked.

She blinked, floating closer to him, “Huh? Y-you weren’t messing me around to escape…?”

“No. I don’t go back on my word.” said Zoro, clearly not happy about any of it, “You got my swords, I promised I’d kiss a man for your writing. Now, who do-”//“SAN-!”//“ANYONE BUT THE COOK!” He quickly finished as she tried to speak over him.

She pouted, knowing he wouldn’t be backing down on that one anytime soon. So instead, Perona looked over the battlefield for her options.

Sanji was out. The skeleton had no lips to kiss. The reindeer was too cute to lewdify for the writer. Long nose was an option to bug the ginger… but Perona never wanted to write a fanfic about that guy. She wondered why anyone ever would?

Who was left… the cyborg freak, boring massage man, fishman warlord, or…

“Kiss the rubber boy!” She finally replied, spinning in place to hum wistfully, “A captain and his vice, realising their true feelings! How ro-!”

“Alright, alright.” He cut her off while sending a massive tornado of destruction towards another group of fishmen. “Glad that’s who you chose though, he’s who I’d pick too.”

“Really?!”

“OI LUFFY!”

Zoro had shouted that out into the ether, no direction at all, much to Perona’s confusion. Confusion multiplied when the rubber man landed heavily next to them out of nowhere, making her jump. “Hey, wassup?”

“I agreed to do something for this one since she saved us,” The conversation was so casual even while Perona’s heart was beating wildly. Marguerite quickly appeared too, chasing after Luffy but growing increasingly tired by the rubber man’s speed. Luffy didn’t seem to mind the request, shrugging his shoulders to let Zoro continue. “Kiss me.”

A beat happened where everyone stood silent, either processing the question or anticipating the answer, all before Luffy finally spoke, “...I’m allowed to kiss guys too?!” He said with glistening eyes.

Wasting no time at all, the rubber boy wrapped his arms around his longest friend and brought him in for a big time lip duel. Zoro had his eye shut and face flushed, but he also didn’t really mind that much either. As he’d said, Luffy was his top choice too. The respect for his captain ran deep, and Zoro knew that if he did swing that way or if there was ever a devil fruit that turned him into a girl then Luffy would be the one he’d choose.

“The pirates are kissing in the middle of the battlefield!” Yelled sword wielding onlooker.

His friend placed a hand on his jagged chin, “Wow, that’s a really powerful image… maybe we shouldn’t be spreading so much hate?”

“Yeah… Oh, they’re stopping, nevermind!”

There was no tongue, and the kiss only lasted about two seconds before rubber lips happily disconnected from the swordsman.

“Nice! I was always told that girls were the ones who liked kisses!”

“Oh, I think they enjoyed it,” replied Zoro, looking over to the two steamed tomatoes that were their girlfriends, “Thanks for that.”

“Shishishi! Anytime! Maybe I’ll go kiss Sanji next to see if he tastes of food!”

“You have fun. Just don’t forget about Hod-and he’s gone.”

Zoro shrugged as his captain rocketed away as quick as he entered, deciding to put this experience behind him and focus on the fight. Slashing the two fishmen that had been looking on before continuing deeper into the warzone. Leaving Marguerite and Perona behind.

“U-uhm… could I borrow your story when you’re done writing it?”

“O-okay…”

The blonde and the pinknette became better friends that day.

“...”

“...”

Though they were blasting fishmen away left and right, an awkward silence was stinking the air between the weakest pair of pirates.

“So… how was the mermaid princess?”

Nami’s long orange hair waved into her wide eyes as she turned, cleared by the gust of wind caused by Usopp’s bomb grass exploding in front of him. “Uhm… yeah, good.” She nodded meekly, “And, uh, Perona?”

“...” He pulled a face, frowning deeply as he turned slowly towards her, “Depressing.”

More explosions behind them, a giant pair of legs stomping away at fishmen, but Nami was simply laughing. “Guess I got the better pink haired girl?”

“Duh.” The proud-of-himself sniper continued his sarcastic snark, “You didn’t have to plug your one up by the mouth to stop her screaming.”

“You’d be surprised~” The minx winked, sending a gust sword to knock down several men as she flirted, “I was nearly sending out weather balls from Shirahoshi’s stomach.”

“What?! She made you a Nami Sandwich?!”

She chuckled again, “Maybe she thought I was a sweet little mikan? Or saw that Luffy was too chewy.” As the two joined in smiles in the midst of battle, Nami’s original silent guilt took over her again. “Um, I also… got an apology from Jinbei. Turns out he was the one who sent Arlong to East Blue…”

Almost immediately, Usopp pomfed out his chest and aimed his kabuto towards the wide blue fishman, “Want me to go kick his ass?”

That probably got the biggest gut laugh from the entire exchange, “Hoo~ No, no I’m good-”

“(Thank fuck.)”

“-but I did forgive him.” Her admittance made the sniper raise a brow, “Without everything that happened, I wouldn't be here. And I wouldn’t trade this life for anything… also, sorry for ditching you. I hadn’t even thought about Arlong for so long, and then his tattoo was right there, and-”

Having to interrupt her to snipe a group of battle armoured fishmen with bamboo, the long nose man quickly switched to grabbing her shoulders instead. “You employed Usopp escape strategy one, and I can’t be mad at that.”

“...seriously?”

“Yeah.”

There was a bit of a frown to her, especially when Usopp returned to sniping their enemies, “That seems too easy. You’re going to hold this over me, right?”

“No?” He replied simply, if a bit confused, “I thought about getting angry, but I really just couldn’t **** it.”

“So you WANT to be angry?”

Her accusation was getting under his skin, “No! If you couldn’t handle it-”

“Couldn’t handle it?”

“What?!”

“So I’m weak now?”

“I-I-!”

“Hm? Spit it out! Am I weak?”

“Yes!”

Her eyes went wide for a second, before closing in anger and turning a-

Usopp grabbed her again, this time much angrier as he spun her around to look at him properly. “Yes, you’re weak. But I’m weaker!”

She blinked in surprise, and the intense glare he was throwing at her.

“I had no idea how to help you! I can’t defeat the Arlong wannabe to keep you safe. I can barely protect myself…” His eyes slowly grew more defeated, “We’re surrounded by monstrous strength, and about to enter the New World where warlords and emperors rule. So if you ever want to run somewhere, to someone who can protect us, I can’t really get mad, can I?”

“Oh, Usopp… it isn’t like that…” She insisted, quickly wrapping her arms around him on the battlefield. “I-I, god you must think I’m such a bitch… WATCH OUT!” A moment to compose herself arose as they quickly broke the hug to dive away from the approaching giant Darumaka.

“Oi! Get your head in the game, you two!” Franky yelled as he ran past in his giant mech.

The two slowly peeled themselves off the floor, ignoring the giant kick that Sanji provided to the top of the giant ball’s head.

Nami quickly grabbed her boyfriend’s shoulder to look him in the eye, “I ran out of there because that’s what old Nami would do. My body reacted before I could think. And… I really thought you’d be there running away with me, like old times. But you weren’t.” Her words took him aback, “I was so proud of you for staying in the palace, but jealous as well. I thought I’d gotten stronger in the two years, but my fear of that time never really went away. All while you stood your ground like a brave warrior of the sea.”

“Nami…”

“I’m sorry for trying to pick a fight… in my head I thought you’d be angry, so it’d be easier if you just were angry, and now I find out I just suck…”

For a brief moment all she could do was slump her shoulders and look to the floor. A silence between them only broken by two fishmen looking on nearby.

“Dis is so dramatic...”

“I really miss my wife.”

“Oi! Get outta here!” Usopp barked, causing the two to grumble away like this wasn’t an active battlefield, “Nami! I don’t think you’re a bitch, and I don’t think you’re weaker than me!” He announced loudly, grabbing her hand and dragging her to stand up again, “You’ll get plenty of chances to prove yourself when it isn’t tied to your trauma! But even then, we can bullshit our way through the New World no matter what! We’ll both be the weakest, together!”

“You’re right!” She beamed back, “I’ll be relying on you, fellow loser!”

“Of course!”

“Woah!!” Luffy yelled happily, eyes sparkling at the beam that had just been fired from the robot’s stomach, “Big Emperor is so COOL~!”

Its arms moved in a very repeatable pose, “Ow! I’m feeling extra SUPER this week!”

The captain would have stood and admired the mech for the rest of the battle if he could, but he was quickly distracted by a few fishmen that had been approaching him getting shot with arrows. “Hm?”

“King Luffy! I have your back!” Yelled Marguerite, jumping to stand literally behind her boyfriend, “With the pride of the Kuja, and by my Queen’s wishes, I will not let anything happen to you!”

“Is that right?”

It was like he’d ignored her completely. Brushing against her shooting arm that had been ready to fire to casually stroll into the oncoming danger. A larger than average fishman going for his head almost immediately with his sword, only able to stop when the blonde hunter got in the way with her much smaller knife. “NnG!” If it wasn’t for her haki she would never be able to block such a blow with such a tiny blade, but with it she was able to counter for a quick stab down the green skinned man’s chest. He fell to the ground as Marguerite panted at the effort, “Haa… yes! It is right! For Hancock, I will protect you, Luffy!”

“Is that really the reason?”

His voice seemed colder, sterner, like he was lecturing her just by asking a question. More fishmen were descending upon them, enough to hurt Luffy if he did not act. She could not stop them all as their swords, only able to shoot two arrows quickly but having to watch as the third man’s blade descended on Luffy’s neck.

Only for his haki to kick in and for the cutlass to snap in two.

“Eh?” He blinked.

With the danger passed, the hunter quickly landed another arrow on the broken bladed warrior’s shoulder. Leaving just her and Luffy again.

“Fine… I’m not just doing this for Snake Princess-sama…” Marguerite was looking down but looked up directly into Luffy’s eyes for the admittance, “I care about you. In my head I know you’re strong, but I’ve been trained since birth to think men are weak. I love you, Luffy. I want to be there to protect you. I can’t let her down… I’d have nothing…”

“I once tried to help Ace fight a pack of tigers on our island that were about to kill a scared boy that had got into the forest, and he kicked me in the stomach before I could reach him,” said Luffy, reminiscing in a way that Marguerite had never seen from the man before, “He won and I whined that I couldn’t help him, then we both got mad at each other. Later I told Dadan about it, and she told me that Ace was trusting me to help the boy so he could focus on the fight.”

She looked amazed at him, soaking in his words like they came from a divine source. Following his eyeline to Shirahoshi and seeming to understand what he meant.

“Hancock didn’t leave you with me to protect me,” He continued, “She knows I’m strong. She just wanted you to have a fun adventure with me! And you have all my friends now too!”

It took her a moment to process everything, long enough for Luffy to smile wide, get distracted, and leave. Running off in the direction of a giant kraken coming over the ridge of the arena.

Marguerite watched as he left. Took a beat. Then fired an arrow towards a fishman nearly landing on Nami.

“Woah! Thanks Margey-chan!”

Teamwork obviously wasn’t a foreign concept to the hunter/Kuja warrior. But this was the first time she was going to have to protect friends that she never grew up with. And it was also the first time she’d have to learn to not just live for her ruler… but for herself as well.

“No problem.”

Okay, I think the fight was going well?

I was taking out these motherfuckers left and right now. It wasn’t as fast as depression girl, or electric girl, or hand girl… okay, I was probably the lowest scoring person here. But I was on the board!

Yet the waves of men were still endless.

A hundred thousand… that was so many more than I’d ever faced before. Dragon wasn’t one for storming fortresses unless he knew he had the numbers and firepower to back it up. The strategist in him often had plans to wipe out huge swaths of marines before fights even started. It’s why his enemies always considered him unbeatable. When you have as amazing information gathering as he has access to…

It probably wasn’t the time to be reminiscing as I subdued another opponent to sleep. Things weren’t just as simple as having to tackle infinite fish. Shirahoshi, Luffy, Hody… they were all above us now. Running from a ship the size of Fishman Island that had been thrown at her as Luffy fought off attacks from inside a bubble that made him weaker. None of the other Straw Hats seemed too concerned, so I guess I trusted him to get it done and protect the princess… but that shadow over the sun did make me nervous.

I was alone by the Sunny now. Only people I could see were a flying Sanji in the distance, a giga-sized Chopper, and a cool ass mech that Franky made.

The elite members of the New Fishman Pirates were on the move as well. Some fights started up around various places, I think Usopp was fighting some small guy? And Brook may have stood on another one’s face…

Everything was so chaotic it was getting hard to keep up. I looked around to see if there was anyone I could try and help…

Which is when I saw Robin again.

She was attacking a certain fishman that was using human slaves like they were horses. A truly horrible bloke, and one that was getting his back broken by my girl in one smooth ass move.

But she hadn’t seemed to notice that she was being targeted by three other fishmen!

“ROBIN!” I yelled out, but amongst the explosions and clattering blades my voice was lost.

In a blind panic I ran. Missing a bunch of fishmen, but so focused on the three swords that were being raised behind Robin’s back.

I had to protect her! I had to do something!

With all the effort I had in my bones, I jumped in between her and the fishmen.

“It’s normal that my skin is unbreakable!”

All ten blades slammed into my body.

That’s right, slammed, not sliced.

It stung, but felt less like I was being gored by adults and instead I was being poked by teenagers. My white shirt still fell down in ribbons, but no blood was spilt from my body. The ten fishmen that had attacked looked confused, expecting me to simply die and not shrug off their swords like it was nothing.

“Natsuo…” Robin said from behind me, her arm partly disappearing from view with an almost awkward look on her face, “I was just a clone…”

With a blink, I felt a twinge of embarrassment, “Oh.”

“I-it’s okay, I appreciate the thought,” Her voice sounded worried, like I had just gone crazy in front of her eyes, “Just… don’t do anything reck-”

“DIE!”

The three really didn’t appreciate me taking my eyes off them. But it didn’t matter now, I leapt into action without needing to constantly dodge their blows anymore. Instead I could burst forward and hit their pressure points with zero fear of being sliced by a sword I failed to see. One after the other my fingers dug deep into fleshy weak points, and one after the other the fishmen collapsed into heaps.

Why hadn’t I done this before? This was life or **** stakes and I had the instant win earring with me.

“Reckless? I-I’m invincible!”

My cool confident line probably landed on Robin, but it definitely landed on a series of other fishmen that turned to look at the bodies I loomed over.

They turned to point their pointless swords at me.

This was going to be fun.

No way any of these assholes were going to push me around. I charged forwards, taking a few more blades easily as I slammed into a group of them. My instincts had turned ultra mode, raising sensitivity, massaging to sleep, it didn’t matter how many fishmen were thrown at me now!

The more I fought, the more confident I felt. Ten, twenty, I think I nearly took out a hundred fishmen in my first rampage! My hands just kept fighting whatever it could touch.

It was such a rush! I got to be useful!

I truly felt invincible. Perhaps I could have even taken on Hody Jones myself? Too late now, but with everyone fighting the big bads maybe I should make myself truly helpful…

There was an octopus man still running rampant, barely even caring about who he was killing. Swords in each leg. Fishmen, human ****, whatever. This bastard was just as casually evil as a fucking Celestial Dragon, but he never had to fight an invincible bodied man before!

“Natsuo?” I heard Robin ask as I quickly began rushing towards my next target.

He raised an eyebrow at me while I began my charge. Barely even caring to stop drinking from his tankard.

It would be his downfall!

The arms were crazy, swords impossible to keep track of, but it didn’t matter. Octopus man had muscles to relax, and his drunk stupor would make him more susceptible to my power!

Okay, just had to let my skin block the initial sword swipe and then begin mass-

“NATSUO NO!”

SLICE

“Hurgh!”

“Hehe, this human had a **** wish!”

Oh.

I’m… very much bleeding…

The floor. I’m on the floor. Nothing’s moving. I’m just lying here while the world slows to a crawl. Huh.

My heart was beating slower. Somewhere I recognised Robin’s voice, Zoro got the octopus man away from me, and there a call out for Chopper. But a peace was overcoming me. Getting harder to focus what was happening.

Robin looked stressed. Her eyes looking up at where the big reindeer man had been, then down to me. I never really deserved a life with her… but being in her arms now…

“Natsuo! Stay with me! I…” Hands were covering my body I think. It barely even hurt. My hand found one of hers, giving it a little squeeze. “No! I was supposed to protect you… but I don’t know how to-!”

I smiled.

She slowly placed her hand on my cheek.

Then in my final moments of consciousness, I think… she touched my ear?

Reality faded fast.

Was she putting something on her own ear?

“Normally I know exactly how to save you!”

Pure darkness.

“I think he’s coming around!”

Ow. That was so loud it made everything hurt.

No… the yelling wasn’t the cause… my body was just immensely hurt for some reason. Breathing in air made my lungs sting, shifting my back to try and get more comfy made my front flare up like I’d just…

Like I’d been stabbed…

“Hmm?” My eyes finally creaked open, feeling the horrible brightness of a summer sun beating down on my face, it felt like I was getting punched by the weather itself. Shapeless blobs came into view as fear took over me.

Was I dead? Had hell finally taken me? Was I never to see again the beauty of Robin’s face, the wonder of Soul King’s music, or the horrors of Franky’s panties?

The pain I felt was making me panic more than it should, but when I reached out for anything I managed to find something. A soft pair of somethings.

“Oi. I say we kill him again.”

“N’aww, he thinks we’re his mama~”

Shapes formed in my eyes, and boy oh boy had they shaped well from the grip of it. The bright world didn’t seem so bad when you got to grab a grinning navigator’s chest with one hand and an archaeologist's with another. From the angle I probably had the back of my head on Robin’s lap, with Nami sitting next to me. Sue me for not letting go of the sides of their massive chests too quick, everything else was in so much pain that feeling something soft was pretty comforting. Even if their chests were moist in those wet t-shirts of theirs.

“Alright, you can get off now.” Nami casually brushed my hand off, “Chopper’s gonna get pissed if you start moving around again.” She smirked, clearly sticking her tongue out at what I could tell was a fuming Sanji, “We can play around more la-”

Her eyes seemed to turn and fall upon my closer rescuer, to which I blinkedly followed over to see a single tear go down Robin’s face. Damn. How bad was the injury?

“Rrbn!” Fuck. My throat was dry as fuck, that single choked word hurt more than I thought it would.

“Welcome back. I’m happy to see you’re okay, Natsuo.” Her beautiful lips reached down and pecked my forehead, while her hand rubbed along my shaggy black hair. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from her to see an awkward Nami or an angry Sanji, instead I just wanted to kick myself for ever letting her look that sad.

Newly formed Robin hands began pushing me off her lap very gently, slowly guiding a tankard of water to my lips and letting me sip from it.

I also got to see much more of the landscape from this new position as well. All the fishmen, all the evil men that had been attacking this lovely slice of undersea heaven, were completely defeated. Bodies lay strewn about the battlefield, but a lot of them were being tended to by other fishmen… or Chopper with either the real or clone Robin, I can’t tell anymore.

Hody, Decken, the octopus guy, they were all nowhere to be seen. But the royal family, all free and swimming about helping the wounded, were there with big grins.

Packs of blood were being passed around so easily. Without any concern if they were human or fishman…

“A lot has happened since you went down, Natsuo,” Robin began explaining as if hearing my thoughts, “It will still take time to heal all the scars left by horrible men, but Luffy and Jinbei took a big step in proving there’s always another way.”

Her hand helped guide my face to where she was talking about. Jinbei and Luffy had their arms connected by a single tube, with blood flowing between it to help provide the captain what he was missing. Fishman and human, sharing blood and laughing about their victory together. It was truly moving.

“Oioi, let’s not forget a certain someone’s sacrifice here?” said Nami, waving her arm about as I noticed our own connected tube. “A certain someone’s boyfriend decided that running head first into someone way over his pay grade was a smart thing to do. You’re lucky that MY boyfriend did those questionnaires on the ship and we were able to find out your blood type and mine are the same.”

I really got fucked up, didn’t I? “Th-thanks, I appreciate the blood.” I nodded, starting to slowly feel better after the water.

She graciously flipped her hair back but still seemed to mostly just be joking around, “No problem. Just tell Chopper if you get any urges to steal people’s wallets. You’ve got cat burglar blood in you now~” Her smile was cheeky but still warm, idly flipping something up in the air as she waited for the blood process to be complete.

I shimmied around, feeling the uncomfortable pull in my arm of the tube under… under my skin… huh…

“It’s normal my skin is unbreakable!”

…

…how… I definitely said that, right? How did Chopper get the tube in my arm..?

How did I get cut?

“Oh, I took my payment already by the way. Makes just as much sense on my ear as yours.” said Nami, pausing her flipping to show the item she had between her thumb and forefinger.

It was a small piece of metal with the letter N on it.

My eyes were wide. My face felt flushed. I had definitely said it was normal for that to stay on me, right?!

How…

How was any of this…?

Before I could even attempt to reach out to take it, Nami flipped the earring once more.

It soared through the air, faster than my aching body would allow to react to, before landing… directly in someone else’s hand.

Robin clenched the earring in her hand, giving a sigh as our eyes quickly met.

She looked concerned, disappointed, and upset all at the same time. Our faces so close yet I felt so much further from her than I ever had before. Fear and panic was striking at my very being as her gaze pierced through my very soul.

“Natsuo, I think it’s time we talked about your earring.”