Old Rule: Anyone speaking in a Chaldea Meeting will speak in "Baby Talk"

You weren't stupid. At least you thought that you hadn't been stupid. You had been wrong.

"Weww, dat wasn't on time, but wook, we's all here now!" The current director of Chaldea, Olga Marie Animusphere, said this from behind the podium as the last entrant, a far eastern girl, took her seat in the back. "Wecome to Speciaw Owganization, Chawdea. I am the diwector, Owga Mawie Animusfewe."

As you sat in the middle of Chaldea's first mission briefing, biting the inside of your cheek as your lips were pressed together to stifle your laughter, you realized that you were absolutely, without a shred of doubt, stupid AF.

It had seemed very smart to test whether the book was the real deal or not by making people baby talk in this very serious meeting to decide humanity's future.

You figured that no one here would do something so silly and turn the briefing into a farce just to fool you, had the book been nothing but an elaborate prank. Not only that, the rule you had written down was harmless, ensuring that no one could use it to **** you if it had been a bait to uncover your fetish. Pretty smart, all things considered. You had just forgotten to consider one thing.

If the book was the real deal, you would be **** to attend a meeting where you had to act seriously while the rest of the meeting talked like a particularly smart infant or dimwitted morons.

"You been picked or found fwom each nation 'cause you got a super rare skill to do wittle wayshift." Olga Marie's stern expression contrasted with the words coming out of her mouth. It might have been a rousing oration originally, but thanks to the filter you imposed, her words did nothing but fill in your internal LOL gauge.

Her eye scanned through the room, looking at all the gathered master candidates one by one. As luck would have it, her gaze stopped on you, probably because your whole body was vibrating with contained laughter.

She must be thinking that you were making fun of her or something. Well, yes. Technically, you were internally laughing at her, but it wasn't her fault. It was yours.

You willed your entire being to keep your mouth shut, and you gave her a supportive thumbs up.

Okay, that was a bad move, judging from her intensifying glare. She took a breath and continued her speech.

"Dis upcoming mission gonna show how awesome you are!" You couldn't take it anymore. This was killing you. "In da words fwom my gone daddy, "Dis is da big battle to keep humanity's tomorrow safe!"

Your laughter echoed around the room while the late far eastern girl with reddish hair, the late entrant from before, stood up in surprise and clapped her hand with a half-awake look.