A Completely Ordinary Meeting

‘This isn't happening,’ said Ian.

He was so used to the abnormal being normal that the normal was now abnormal.

The perfectly ordinary spectacle of an actual real human being, a professional, walking down the hall to meet him filled him with dread and disquiet. No teacher wanted their school to be inspected. This school, in particular, did not want to be inspected.

He certainly did not want to be inspected.

He looked around his office. While his trousers were being modified, Miss Campbell and a bunch of dependable students had done their best to give it the once-over and eliminate all the porno clutter and erotic ephemera that he had accumulated over the course of his career. There were patches of slightly discoloured wallpaper where photographs had been swiftly removed from the wall. Most of them had featured his behemoth penis in a state of messy and effusive ejaculation over female members of staff and the student body, so they had to go.

He really hoped that he got them back. There was a really good one of him splattering Diamond Gazongas in the face with an incredibly heavy burst of sperm while Zoe Monroe hefted her glazed tits in the foreground… - Ian shook his head to clear the image.

He was doing it again!

He had to think normally.

All of his various dick and boob-shaped awards had been cleared away into his desk drawer. The ones that had been too long to fit in - coincidentally, the ones that had been moulded on the shape and size of his actual humongous penis - had been thrown in the cupboards behind.

One of the doors groaned ominously.

The trousers business had been a little bit harder to manage. While a clutch of his colleagues and some of the more helpful students had been clearing his office of erotic contraband, Ian had been spirited away for an emergency consultation with Miss Stark in visual arts. Reminded instantly of the encounter he had had while team teaching with Miss stark on his very first day that the school, where he had analised her within five minutes of meeting her as the students did their best to capture the image as a life painting sketch, Ian managed to get a quick reintroduction to the art teacher's asshole before everyone had managed to calm down and remember what they were there for. Miss Stark had managed to throw a bunch of fabric together to reinforce Ian’s pre-reinforced trousers, and then, just to be safe, he had been encouraged to wear another pair of reinforced trousers on top of that pair of trousers. So he was now wearing two pairs of trousers, both reinforced, one doubly reinforced.

It was all a bit tight down there.

However, he felt more secure.

Under normal circumstances, trouser destruction was his absolute forte, which never failed to sew delight and excitement whenever he chose to deploy it. And indeed, in the instances where it wasn't really down to him whether the trousers were destroyed or not was equally enjoyable for all concerned. Anything, famously, could set him off, and part of the pleasure of the school day was to be found in the way that 18 year old pornified school girls did and said the most disgustingly lewd and imaginatively filthy things to try to get his monstrous 18 inch hog to burst through his trousers.

That was strictly off the agenda today.

He looked around the office, trying to be completely scrupulous in his examination of the room, just to make sure that no one had missed anything. If an actual real human person from the actual real world in an actual professional context was going to come in here then he needed to be perfect.

As a consequence it was all a bit bare, but perhaps he could get away with saying that he just moved into the office or something. He looked down. The trousers were holding. His right leg looked comfortably bigger than his left one, but perhaps that could be explained away as some kind of sports hernia. He wasn't sure anymore. Being in the school had clearly warped his understanding of reality. Part of him was sad about that, but it was a very very small part of him, a tiny kernel of him deep inside that dimly remembered the normal rules of social functioning and basic propriety. It didn't really ever have much of chance when his professional career depended on coming up with exciting innovations such as latex day.

That teeny tiny kernel of uncorrupted humanity that understood social mores and could correctly observe them, the tiny withered piece of him that had wasted away as his gigantic penis had grown, was now running the show.

The future of the school depended on that little scrap of decorum remaining in place.

He took a deep breath and heard the sound of high heels on the corridor outside. Normally that sound would have signalled the occasion of some fabulous treat served up by a prime grade fuckdoll eager for him to fuck her ass and cum all over her tits. Now the sound filled him with dread.

He got an immense manilla batch file and held it in front of his crotch just to be sure.

The door opened. Gina Taylor was there. She looked almost normal. Normal in the sense that her knock out fuckdoll figure had been poured into more or less conventional business attire. Granted, she looked like the living prelude to a sexy secretary onlyfans roleplay custom video, but it wasn't actively pornified.

‘Mr White, I'd like you to meet the school inspector.’

Gina got through the door, and Ian got his first good look at the person he was certain was going to shut down the school and then his career.

‘Ginni,’

The inspector stuck out a hand. Ian took it.

‘Ian White.’

There, that wasn't so bad. Ian tried not to but couldn't really help himself from getting a good look at Ginni all the same. In his head, a cartoon wolf’s eyes were popping out and it was hitting itself on the head with a hammer. In real life it was just a handshake. He was going to have to get used to keeping fantasies where they belonged, on the inside. Of course, it was only natural that his first thought was what it would be like to bust a nut all over this gorgeous woman. But all men thought that. Didn't they?

‘Jenny.’

‘Ginni,’ Ginni corrected him.

‘Nice to meet you.’

The Inspector was conservatively dressed, and if anything the tweed pantsuit was a bit of a historical artifact, but as a man currently wearing two pairs of trousers Ian wasn't about to criticize others’ fashion sense. He clocked big tits and a good body for all he could see of it. Annoyingly, she was hot.

‘Nice to meet you too. Come and have a seat.’

‘Leave you to it,’ Gina said, ‘nice to meet you Ginni.’

As she got behind the inspector, Gina mouthed the words DO NOT FUCK HER to Ian and closed the door behind her.

Ian took one hand from the batch of files and gestured to the chair in front of his desk.

‘Please.’

Ginni went over and sat down. The curves of her ass was like a round, juicy peach.

‘Okay,’ he said, as much to himself as to Ginni.

This was going to be easy. Just two perfectly ordinary people in a professional context having a perfectly ordinary chat.

He put the files on the table and set down opposite as opponent. Behind the desk he felt more secure. Acting on instinct, he had done a quick sweep of his office after everyone had completed the task of evacuating it of contaminated material, and had detected the Intrepid female first-year student Cammy Cantaloupoes - CC for short- hiding underneath his desk with every intention of giving him a suck job as he sat opposite the inspector. He had sent her out with a flea in her ear and a mental note to himself to discipline her properly later.

‘Now’, Ian said. He put his elbows on the desk and steepled his fingers and what he assumed was a professional manner. Instantly, he noted that his laptop was open on the desk next to him and was displaying his personally curated gallery of photos as its screensaver. The slide show had reached the point where his monstrous meat monolith was laying across the eyes of four huge titted teenagers that had won some kind of prize on speech day. Briskly, he snapped it shut.

‘You've got my full attention,’ Ian smiled. ‘What can I do for you.’

‘Well Mr White,’ Ginni said, ‘absolutely nothing out of the ordinary I hope. I'm just here to inspect the school, which is apparently long overdue according to my records.’

‘We're all looking forward to it tremendously. And you're here for the full day.’

‘Yes that's right. But I won't need any special looking after. So just go about your business normally and all I'll do is drop into a lesson here and there and maybe have a chat with some of the students.’

Yeah, we'll all just get on with our business normally, Ian thought, we'll just do that.

This wasn't going to work. If there was no way to predict where she was going to pop up, the school as a whole had absolutely zero chance of maintaining the illusion of propriety for more than an instant. It had been determined that his first task was to attempt to hold the inspect of for as long as possible in his office so that staff and students alike could initiate the frenzy of de-pornifying the school.

‘Well I’d be very happy to answer any questions that you have at this stage,’ Ian said.

‘Thank you Mr White,’ Ginni said, ‘a couple of things do spring to mind.’

‘Fire away.’

‘Just to be sure I've got this right, this is a somewhat unorthodox School.’

‘Definitely,’ Ian said.

‘In fact really it's more a sort of adult education institution.’

‘You could say that,’ said Ian, ‘sometimes when people leave college and they look around and think university possibly isn't for them but they don't want to enter the world of work, we give them a little more bespoke tertiary educational experience.’

That was one way of putting it, Ian thought.

‘Because you don't admit anyone there isn't 18 years of age,’ Ginni said.

‘Wouldn't dream of it,’ Ian replied

‘Well that is unusual,’ Ginni said

‘Probably some kind of side effect of the wholesale stealth privatisation of the education sector,’ Ian said. ‘All very much before my time.’

‘Indeed.’

Ian was getting quite into this. This was going to be easy!

‘But what would I know,’ Ginni said, ‘I've only done a couple of inspections before.’

‘Well, this is my first role,’ Ian said, ‘quite by accident really. I turned up on supply one day to fill in as a substitute teacher and they snapped me up. Offered me a job on the spot.’

‘You must have had an impressive first day!’

You could say that, Ian thought.

Glancing to the right of his desk, Ian was alarmed to see that his personalized mug was there. On one side of it with a words ‘World's Best Teacher,’ on the other was a picture of his cum pumping penis spewing a horse load of sticky white jism into the faces of two of his favorite students. Diamond Gazongas' grinning face was a picture of shock, delight, and appreciation as she watched a fat beam of spunk collide with the gorgeous face of Sanddy Sexton. Sanddy's face was scrunched up and contorted in the impact.

Previously it had always made him laugh.

Quickly, he reached out and closed his palm around the lewd side of the mug.

‘Well, hopefully you will be in and out,’ Ian said.

‘And I'll just go around and ask a few of the students what they think of the standard of teaching and that sort of thing.’ Ginni said, ‘And what is it you teach?’

‘Oh, I'm still just a glorified supply teacher, I just plugged gaps where I can.’ Ian leaned back. There was a small bit distinct plop as something dropped from the ceiling into his coffee cup. They both looked up.

‘Goodness, you have a leak.’ Ginni observed, ‘I wouldn't drink that now.’

‘No.’ Ian said, grinning manically as he looked up at the pattern of precum that that was drizzling off the ceiling. ‘Did I mention that we're underfunded?’