Someone to Love

The train jerked, rousing Jake up from sleep. Or at least, as he was coming to realize, the intermission between one dream and another.

He rubbed his eyes, collecting himself.

He was on a train. And it took only a cursory scan of his surroundings to realize that it wasn’t in the United States. As if to confirm, the intercom on the train crackled to life.

German came out through it. Jake didn’t speak German, but he knew “Munich” and “Vienna” well enough when he heard them. A quick glance at the sun told him it was late afternoon, and he was headed east.

He also knew it was a dream. That was new. The last couple, blurry as they were, had been a bit more immersive.

He stood, stretched and yawned, trying to guess whose dream he was in. Leah, Emily and Hannah, the Jones-Alis…he’d seen all of them. It wouldn’t be like AJ to have one set out here.

A niggling feeling told him he needed to head to the dining car. Gradually, he began to work his way in that direction.

He found Julie waiting for him, a book in hand. She wore a pair of white jeans that seemed almost painted on her shapely legs and ass, with a tied red blouse that showed off a tight tummy and full breasts. Looking at her sitting there, Jake felt several confusing compulsions warring in him at once.

Her blue eyes turned from the book to him, smiling.

“Hello, Jake.” She said, putting it down with a smile.

Huh. That was unexpected.

“Hey, Juju.”

She rolled her eyes.

“Megan still calls me that,” She said. “Megan was also very little when I used to watch you two. You probably shouldn’t.”

Jake felt the heat rise in his cheeks. He raised his hand to the nape of his neck, scratching the hair there.

“Man…” He said, “There is something about you and Farrah that just turns me back into a teenager.”

Julie’s smile was sweet, and beautiful.

“Nostalgia. Hell of a ****,” She said. “I think she and I are about about the age we were at when you got crushes on us. I guess I'd have been a couple years younger, but when you're nearly 40, the difference between 16 and 19 doesn't seem like much.”

The reddening intensified. He did his best to ignore it. To her credit, so did Julie.

“So, what’s going on here?” He asked, as the European countryside flew by, “This ain’t exactly Indiana or upstate New York.”

Julie nodded.

“That’s the point,” She agreed. “I never got to see the world beyond our small town, and Hackensack, Indiana.”

She smiled up at him.

“Megan tells me that Vienna was your favorite city when you toured Europe,” she said. “I’ve always wanted to see literally any city in Europe. You seemed like an ideal tour guide for four hours.”

“Yeah, Vienna kicks ass,” Jake agreed. “It was the right size.”

Julie raised an eyebrow.

“You moved from our tiny little small town to New York City, and you think Vienna is the right size?”

He nodded.

“To visit? Hell yeah,” He said. “To live in? That’s New York.”

Julie cocked her head, making a “go on” gesture.

Jake cleared his throat.

“You can live in New York for 40 years and not understand the city. And by the time you did, it would already have changed.” He said. “I’m not saying you can really understand a place like Vienna in a week or two, but you can get a much better taste for it.”

Still, something had him curious.

“But that’s why I like it. What are you choosing it for your dream?”

“Sounds like you know it pretty well,” Julie said, “And I wanted a tour guide.”

The train began to slow, an announcement coming over the intercom. More German, but it was clear enough that they were about to depart. As if to punctuate this, Julie stood.

“This is our stop,” She said, holding out an arm. “Care to show a country girl around?”

Jake smiled in spite of himself. There was something here he wasn’t piecing together, but for the moment, that didn’t seem to matter. He took her arm.

“The pleasure is all mine.”

*****

There was a truncated quality to these dreams, Jake was finding. Walking places took only as long as having a conversation. Hours, or days, or even years, in Lacy’s case, passed by when it wasn’t convenient to the narrative.

Not in Julie’s dream. They walked through the splendid train station together, out onto the street.

“So what do you wanna see here?” Jake asked. “There’s a bunch of touristy stuff that’s kind of ‘essential’ or whatever. But I know some less ostentatious places as well.”

Julie was shaking her head.

“I wanna go where you wanna go,” She said. “As long as we don’t have to watch a play or something that’ll take up the run time, I’m cool with anything you wanna do.”

Jake chuckled.

“Guess that rules out the Theatermuseum,” injecting a hint of a German accent into it.

Julie giggled.

“Ohmygod…is that really the name?”

Jake nodded.

“A very literal language, German.”

Still, he needed to keep his eye on the prize here.

“I guess the first step is going to the art museum,” He said.

“Is it called the Artmuseum?” Julie teased.

“The Kunhistoriches Museum Wein,” He corrected.

Julie beamed.

“Sounds like a great start!” She said. “What’s the best way to get there?”

“Well, I mean, you’re in control of the dream, right?” Jake said. “You can probably just zap us there if you want to.”

She put her hands on her hips and gave him the sort of look he was sure she typically reserved for her daughter. On her current 19 year old frame, it looked adorable.

“Sir, this is my first time outside of the US. And you want me to just skip the view?”

He supposed he couldn’t argue with that, even if it wasn’t the most efficient use of her dream time.

“Well in that case, we’re gonna need to flag down a trolley,” Jake said, taking her up to the nearest stop.

Conveniently, it was right next to the station. Julie’s eyes went wide with excitement.

“That sounds awesome!” She said, pulling him toward the stop.

As the trolley began to approach, she hopped up and down, waving.

Jake laughed.

“It’s gonna stop. You don’t need to do that.”

She rolled her eyes.

“Stop ruining my fun, Cooper.”

The trolley stopped, and they boarded it, taking a seat in the back where it narrowed to a small bench.

He realized he hadn’t seen Julie like this since she was his babysitter; perky and cheerful, with none of the worn down sadness adulthood had seemed to inflict on her. Experimentally, he slipped an arm around her. Rather than resisting, she leaned into it, and even slipped into his lap so she could have more room to stretch her legs.

“Y’know, that’s kinda frowned on here,” He said.

“Fuck it,” She retorted. “It’s a dream. Who cares?”

Jake, a religious rule follower, did, but was charmed enough that he didn’t say anything.

“Y’know,” Jake said, “This doesn’t feel like you.”

“Yeah,” She agreed. “It’s not me. Not anymore. But it was when I was actually 19. And since these guys have decided I should be again, fuck it. Here I am.”

A silence threatened to lapse. Jake, knowing what these challenges meant to these girls, and what the consequences of losing them could be, decided he couldn’t let that happen.

“Okay…I still feel like I barely know anything about you,” He said. “Like even when we spent that night together, I don’t feel like we really got to know each other all that well.”

She frowned a little.

“I’m sorry about that. I’ve kinda had a lot going on,” She said. “And life’s turned me into a bit of a reserved person anyway.”

“No, listen…it wasn’t a criticism,” Jake said. “I just wanna fix it. So I’ve got a proposal.”

She sat up, facing him.

“I’m all ears.”

“I want to ask you four questions. Then you get to ask me four,” Jake proposed.

She gave him a considering look.

“Okay…but nothing about the game. Or any of the….challenges. Okay?”

Her pregnant pause there was telling, and he knew what it was carrying.

“Done.” He said.

“Alright. I’ll start,” She said. “Who is you’ve really got a crush on? I know you dated Hannah and Emily, but who’s really doing it for you.”

Jake furrowed his brow.

“That seems suspiciously like a game question, miss.” He said.

“No. It’s a question about the other girls.”

“The other girls in the game,” He corrected.

“Okay, fine. Who’s really doing it for you lately? That you’ve actually met in the flesh.” She amended, then backhanded his chest. “Now quit pussyfooting around and answer.”

This was a loophole. The only thing that happened to him lately was the game. But he sighed. He did sign up for this, after all.

“Farra’s got a fucking talent for melting me,” He admitted.

She snorted a laugh.

“She’s got a talent for melting everyone. Who else?”

He rolled the question around in his head, and thought about saying Sabrina. She had surprised him, and was pretty cool when she let her mask down. But what was the point of doing this if they weren’t gonna be honest.

“Lacy. Like, intellectually, I know it’s Ryan. I know she used to be my best friend. But…”

He trailed off. Julie had made a fist and pumped it.

“I knew it!” She said. “I knew that when she got her shit together, she was gonna be a problem for the others.”

Well, that was a provocative response.

“And what is that supposed to mean?” He asked. “The others? Is she not a problem for you?”

He thought he saw a flash of discomfort on her face, but she bounced back quickly.

“That sounds like two questions, mister,” She said. “Pick one of the two.”

He was dreadfully curious about both, but asked neither.

“Forget it, then.” He said. “Let me see…”

By now, the trolley was pulling up to their location. Jake was pretty sure the museum wasn’t directly on the track line that led to the museum, but fuck it. Dream logic.

“Hold this thought while we go through admissions,” Jake said. “But…what do you think of me? That’s my question.”

She rolled her eyes, and Jake immediately felt stupid for asking. But when she opened her mouth, he found it was for something else entirely.

“We aren’t gonna need to go through admissions,” Julie said. “And we can do whatever we want in here.”

As they stepped out of their trolly, her eyes lit up.

“Oh my God,” She exclaimed. “That building is gorgeous.”

She took his hand, and turned him toward her.

“Can you make me a promise?” She asked. “Can we just hang out like…I dunno.

Strangers who don’t know what they might be yet? No attachments. No obligations, nothing like that?”

Jake chuckled.

“Uh, sure, I guess,” He said, “Although, I gotta ask…if that’s what you wanted, why didn’t you just program it into the dream?”

She nodded toward the museum.

“That sounds like a real question. And you already asked yours.”

“Ugh,” He grunted in mock frustration, “Fine. Let’s go look at some art.”

*****

Look at art, they did. Any museum like this had hundreds, if not thousands of pieces worth looking at. But they were clearly playing the hits as they headed through the long hallway. Everything on display had been taken from Jake’s list of favorite pieces.

“Oooh, I love this one,” Jake said, pointing to The Tower of Babel by Bruegel.

“I don’t blame you,” Julie said, leaning in close enough to set off theft alarms in any non-dreamscape museum. “I feel like I could look at this all day and not see all the details.”

“That’s what I love about it,” He said, then hedged his bets. “But with all due respect, ma’am…I don’t think you answered my question earlier.”

She turned from the painting, which she was observing with clasped hands.

“About what I think of you?” She asked. “I almost want to break the rules here and ask you something in response.”

He couldn’t tell if she was dodging the point or not, but his curiosity overrode his better judgment.

“Alright, sure. Go for it.”

The face that turned up from the painting to look at him might have been young, but the intensity in her blue eyes wasn’t.

“Why do you care so much?” She asked. “It seems really important to you that we all think you’re a good guy. But why?”

Jake blinked, surprised by the question.

“Uhm…don’t we all wanna think that?”

Julie shrugged.

“I don’t really care anymore. I had to stop caring when people assumed I was a slut for getting knocked up in college. Or an idiot because I didn’t get a degree. Or a loser because I work a dead end job,” She said.

Jake rubbed the scruff of his neck. They were in the rotunda now; a gorgeous cavern of white black marble, with relief statues carved into the walls. They stood by a pair of paintings, Summer and Winter by Arcimboldo.

“And that doesn’t bother because you know better?” Jake asked.

“It doesn’t bother me because it doesn’t matter,” Julie said. “Whether someone thinks I’m a slut, or stupid, I have to go on living my life. Raising my girl, earning what I could.”

She turned to him.

“And you have to go on at the center of this thing,” She said.

Jake groaned.

“Not this again. Do you have any idea how many of you have lectured me about how I’m not involved enough?”

But Julie was shaking her head.

“I didn’t mean that at all,” She said. “If you wanna be involved or not, that’s your business. But you’ve still gotta go on with it. And you need to go on in a way that works for you. It’s nice that you think about us, but you matter, too.”

Jake was weirdly touched. For all this situation sucked for all of them, it was the first time anyone other than AJ had bothered asking him how he felt about it.

“Thank you,” He said, and meant it. “I’ll think that over.”

She turned to him, hands on hips.

“Are you ready to move on? I think I’m about art-ed out.”

Jake shrugged.

“It’s your dream.”

“No,” She said, furrowing her brow.

She had an air about her as she did this that reminded her of his mother; firm but gentle.

“You’re the one showing me around, remember?”

He stroked his beard, thinking.

“I’m in control of the dream, right? My memories or whatever?”

Julie nodded.

“That’s what it’s all drawn from,” She said. “I think anyway.”

“How do you feel about a stroll down the waterfront?” Jake asked. “I know a spot you’d love, but it’s not exactly in Vienna.”

She tilted her head.

“We’re changing venues?”

“We could,” Jake said. “If you’re drawing from my memories, what’s stopping us?”

Julie thought that over, then nodded enthusiastically. She practically beamed.

She stood and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

“Jake, it’s brilliant. I know exactly what I want.”

Jake blushed, then struggled for a word.

“Uhm…oh?”

“Yes!” She said, taking his hand as she led him excitedly to the exit. “I know just the thing!”

*****

It had been late morning when they’d entered the museum, and by the time they left, the sun was beginning to set. But the sudden change of time wasn’t the only disorienting thing about the afternoon.

Jake gave a surprised gasp. They were on the streets of Vienna, but the path to the right narrowed into the tight canals of Venice. Beyond that, the Brandenberg gate lay ahead, with the Eiffel Tower in the distance.

It was a magnificent slice of Europe laying out on all sides of him. The highlights any tourist would have on the most stereotypical shortlist, surrounded by snapshots from his memory; the vistas that had taken his breath away, and the sights that had felt homey and perfect.

“I can’t believe they let you do all this on the fly,” Jake said.

Julie shrugged.

“They kinda don’t,” She admitted. “You tell the machine what you want from it, then it creates what you tell it. I told it to dig into your head and make Europe for me. I guess I could redirect it from there, but I still had to start with it.”

Jake nodded.

“Fair enough,” He said. “Let’s start down the trail.”

They did, walking down into the canalworks hand in hand. Jake sneaking glances at her as they went, and mostly found her staring out at the scenery around them in wide eyed wonder.

“Come on,” She said, tugging his arm. “I wanna ride one of those little boats.”

Jake screwed up his face.

“Bit..typical, isn’t it?”

“I don’t care,” She said. “I’ve never done it, and now I want to.”

It was her demanding face again. Jake realized it lived between two opposites; the needy expression of the girl she looked like, and the authoritative one of the seasoned mother he knew she actually was.

“Who am I to refuse a lady,” He said.

Crowds passed them as they descended stairs to a boat. They were insubstantial and undefined; there, because empty streets would be too eerie, but at the same time, not really people at all.

Their boatsman, or woman, he supposed,, was no different. Jake told them where he wanted to go, and they began to pole away without a word, drifting down the narrow waterway as the two settled in beside one another.

“Gorgeous, isn’t it?” Jake asked as they crested a gap in the tightly packed buildings.

She nodded.

“Extremely. It makes me sad it’ll all be under water in a few years.”

“Yeah,” Jake agreed. “Although to tell you the truth, I didn’t really like Venice all that much. I mean it’s a gorgeous town, but there’s too many tourists there. Massive cruise ships come and you can barely move through all the crowds.”

“It’s not like that now,” Julie said, giving his hand a soft squeeze. “Right now, it’s just us.”

He looked down, and his eyes met hers. Their lips met. He slipped a hand around her waist, caressing the small of her back, and she did the same for the nape of his neck. They kissed like that for some time, before she finally stopped, placing a finger on his lips.

“Not yet,” She said with a breath. “We don’t have a ton of time, and there’s just a bit more I want to get to.”

He nodded, though he was flustered. It was the second time the two of them had gone this far, and he badly wanted to go further. Still, he **** in a breath of cool Adriatic air and nodded assent.

“Seems like we’re getting into a habit of stopping before we finish,” He said.

“I really am sorry about that,” She said, with real sincerity.

Jake nodded absently, a thought crossing his mind.

“It’s not…I don’t make you uncomfortable, do I?” He asked.

It wasn’t the right question, so he tried again.

“I mean, I don’t wanna push you. You know…if you wanna stay faithful or whatever.”

She looked stricken for a moment, but shook her head.

“No. You don’t make me uncomfortable. And you’re not pushing. I’m inviting,” She said.

She looked off to the distance.

“And it’s not Wayne, either. I mean…I loved him, but that part of my life’s over,” She said.

She stopped him before he could say something apologetic.

“It’s okay. Well…it’s not, but I don’t want to spend the rest of my life feeling miserable about it,” She said. “I took care of the people I care about. Maybe I can get involved with them again in some capacity, but…”

She shook her head.

“I can’t be yours and with him at the same time,” She said. “So…that part’s over.”

Jake had no idea what to say to that, so he only nodded, and slipped a comforting arm around her. She leaned against him as he did. It felt good.

“So what comes now for you?” He asked.

“I don’t know,” She said, taking his hand and drawing it over her slender belly. “But I think I’m gonna be in good hands as I figure it out.”

Jake hugged her then.

“You’re not alone, Julie,” He said. “I’m here for you if you need anything. So are the girls. At least some of them.”

She nodded.

“Yeah. And you’re not the only one who needs to open up more to them,” She said. “I’m in the same boat. Everyone’s been amazing, and I’ve just been…quiet.”

The boat came to the end of the canal, and Julie sprang up, a **** smile on her face.

“Come on. We still have a couple more stops.”

He stood and climbed another staircase with her, this one leading to a long, old bridge, dotted with oil lights and bookended by castle-like towers. Julie gasped as she climbed up to one, running her hand along the old stone as she walked ahead of him.

“What is this?” She asked, voice filled with wonder.

“It’s the Charles Bridge, in Prague,” Jake said with a proud smile. “One of the most beautiful places I ever saw when I was touring around Europe.”

“I can see that,” She agreed. “I’d have never thought to include it. You’ve got really awesome tastes.”

“I mean, I didn’t build it or anything,” Jake added sheepishly. “But…yeah. It’s very cool.”

They were arm in arm, now, not merely hand in hand as they crossed. Jake’s arm was wrapped around her waist and she seemed to enjoy the attention enormously.

“How old is this?” She asked.

“It was built in the 1300s,” He said. “That’s why it looks like it was made for a medieval siege. Because it pretty much exactly was.”

Julie stopped, and hoisted herself up onto the railing.

“Uh…you’re really not supposed to do that,” Jake said, before remembering that in this dreamscape, nobody cared.

Julie watched him, and waited for the recognition of this to dawn, before giggling as he propped himself up to join her. She turned out to face the water, and the cityscape beyond it, and he did the same.

“What do you want when this is all over?” She asked him. “For yourself…for all of us? What’s the plan.”

“Sounds like a lot of questions in one,” He said.

“Please. We kinda gave the game up,” She said. “For real though. What’s next for us all, if you had it your way.”

“If I had it my way?” He said. “I’d send you all off on your merry way as normally as possible. Maybe…Well, mostly normally.”

“Maybe keeping a couple girlfriends and your hall pass to fool around?” She tried, raising an eyebrow.

Jake blushed, but didn’t shy away from it.

“Something like that.”

“Can’t say I blame you,” She said, drawing one long, toned leg up to her knee.

Jake had never noticed it, hadn’t taken the time to notice it, but she was nearly as fit as Rachel was. A little less muscular, maybe, but her legs were every bit as sexy and defined. She let one dangle over the stone railing, and he couldn’t help but admire it.

“But you can’t get your way,” She said. “You know that, right? They’ve already told us they won’t make us normal or let us leave you or whatever. Not even the winners.”

Jake nodded and sighed.

“Yeah. I know,” He said, glumly. “And to be honest, I still haven’t grappled with that yet. I don’t know what to think about it.”

She nodded.

“I won’t lecture you or whatever, but you probably need to put some thought into that.”

Jake did for a moment, then shook his head.

“I don’t think so,” He said. “There’s not much point in thinking about how I’m gonna pick up the pieces if I don’t know where or how hard they’re going to fall yet.”

She cocked her head at him.

“What do you mean?” She asked.

“I don’t know who’s going to get eliminated. Who’s going to stay here. What’s going to happen to everyone…”

He paused.

“I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m gonna take it as it comes. Support you guys the best I can. And I promise you that I’ll take care of everyone when this is all over, however I have to. And I promise that no matter what happens, you’ll always be people to me.”

She met his gaze and held it. After a moment, she gave him a slow kiss.

“Good enough for me. It’s what I wanted to hear.”

She stood up on the parapet and stretched.

“And with that, I think I’m ready for the last stop,” She said. “Do you trust me?”

“I…uh…what do you mean?” He asked.

Her standing like this was discomforting, even if he knew she was probably safe.

Julie smiled, folded her hands behind her back, and dropped over the edge into the darkness.

“Julie!” Jake cried, eyes wide. “What the fuck?”

He lunged forward, falling down after her. He would hit the water any second, and he braced himself for the splash, and the cold….

Only to stumble forward, his feet having struck solid ground. He flailed forward, and a strong grip took the back of his shirt and pulled him back.

“Easy, bud,” Julie said to him. “Take a sec to get your bearings.”

As soon as he did, the view took his breath away.

They were on the Eiffel Tower, the top observation deck with the protective fencing stripped away. Paris spread out beneath them, gleaming in the darkness. But it wasn’t just Paris. It was Prague from the Old Town Hall Tower, Vienna from Danube Tower, Berlin from the Reichstag Dome, and what felt like all of God’s creation from the high alps of Luaterbrunen. He only needed to shift his perspective slightly for the world to turn, revealing some new, breathtaking vista, like a kaleidoscope. Turn his head just right, and he could see them all together as one wide, continuous, breathtaking panorama.

Julie had slipped beneath his arm, and was gawking right alongside him.

“You saw all these?” She asked with wonder.

“Not like this,” He admitted. “But I saw them on their own, I guess.”

“It’s beautiful,” She whispered.

She turned up to him.

“Thank you. For sharing all this with me.”

He held her close.

“I’m happy to do it,” He said.

He was happy to share it with anyone. But he knew this was the first time Julie would have seen any of it. And that made him happiest of all.

He held her close and they kissed, his hands exploring her. Her fingers ran through his hair as she stood on her toes to receive his kisses.

“I’m ready,” She breathed into his ear.

Jake undid her blouse, revealing her perky breasts; unbuttoned her shorts and slid them down her tight, toned thighs. She frantically undid his shirt, unbuckled his belt, liberated from his jeans. It should have hurt, when they fell naked to the metal grating of the platform. It should have been cold.

It was neither.

Jake kissed her neck. Teased a perky, pink nipple and suckled one of her breasts. He kissed down the line of her tight, slender belly, and found the sweetness between her legs.

“J-Jake!” She gasped, squirming as he teased the inside of her.

She cried out, voice echoing into the night.

“Ohmygod…” She breathed. “I haven't had that in years. How did you know?”

“Educated guess,” He said, wiping his lips.

Julie said up, flushed. She clawed the ponytail out of her hair at some point, and the warm night wind whipped her golden mane around her. She sat up and spread her legs.

“My turn now," She said, "You certainly earned it."

She stood, then beckoned him.

"Follow me."

She strode, naked, to the edge of the tower. Jake followed nervously. He knew that from this far up, nobody could see them. And that since the landscape and people below were all imagination anyway, it would matter even if they could. Nonetheless, he felt exposed up here; like it was something he shouldn't have been doing.

But as she placed his hands on her hips, and stood on her toes to kiss him again, that concerned ceased to matter. It fact, it seemed to make him even hungrier for her. His cock throbbed painfully as she drew herself in for another kiss, and she slipped a gentle hand around it, coaxing it with a light, but stimulating touch that made him shiver in anticipation.

"Lay down, Cooper," She whispered, in a tone that betrayed her apparent youth, "I'm about to blow your mind."

She guided him gently to the ground, straddling him with her strong, thick, volleyball player's thighs. Placed toned arms on his shoulders, she slid her tight, young lips along the length of his cock, teasing it with their wetness. Finally, when he was sure he was going to explode before she'd even had a chance to do more than taunt him, she slid down on him, impaling herself on his now throbbing manhood. He fingernails dug into his shoulder as she arched her back, gradually pumping faster. She had the energy and enthusiasm of her young body, but this was not a young woman's lovemaking. It was deliberate and experienced.

As she rode him, the world blurred. He took her above Prague, above Munich, above London, in the Swiss alps. World turned beneath them, but he only had eyes for Julie; for her pulsing muscles, her bouncing, perky breasts, the way her pretty lips parted as she cried out as his name. He was lost in the pleasure of her as they made love on top of the world.

Later, he lay with her in his arms, both naked. He traced along her spine, down to her shapely rear. The sun was rising now, the dream nearly done.

“Thank you again,” Julie said sleepily. “For the tour, and the good time up here. I….needed to feel like that again.”

“Like what?” He asked.

He knew the dream was ending, but he didn’t want it to.

“Sexy. Young. Exciting.” She said. “I don’t know if I can put all of it into words. You’re better with them than me anyway.”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself,” He encouraged. “This was a really great idea.”

“Mmm…I guess I didn’t think of it that way,” She said. “I just wanted a vacation before…”

She trailed off.

“Before what?” He asked.

“Before I’m voted off,” Julie said. “I know it’s coming. And I’m…ready for it.”

Jake tried to sit up, but Julie pushed him back down gently.

“What do you mean, ready for it? You’re not out of this yet!”

“Yes I am, Jake,” She said with a smile that was both sweet, and pitying. “I picked my dream as a last hurrah. I don’t expect to win. And unless I win, I’m gone.”

“Hey…I really liked it,” He tried. “You never know.”

But Julie shook her head.

“I’m square peg in a round hole here. And that’s okay,” She said, giving him a kiss. “You’ll find your leading lady in all this, but it’s not me. It’s not who I am. Even if I live through this round, and another, that won’t change.”

Jake didn’t know what to say to that, so he held her close, squeezing her tight and giving her a reassuring kiss.

“Well…whatever happens…” He said. “I’m going to be here for you. You and all the others.”

She stroked his hair, kissed his lips.

“Good. I even believe you,” She said. “You asked me earlier what I think of you? I think you’re a good guy. Whatever happens next, I’m glad we’ve got that going for us.”

And before he could reply, the world began to dissolve around him.