Have a naked-elf luau

You fashion an impressive island spread, complete with all the local fruits and fish. All of these are presented on a platter along with Mawa'i, who is kneeling face-down, butt up, and as naked as she could be. You go to give the spread a finishing touch by putting an apple in the elf's mouth. She resists.

"I draw the line at the apple in the mouth!" she says. "I'm not a roast pig!"

"If you don't want to be the pig, you can go in the lei, and we'll find someone else who is willing to be the pig," you say.

You indicate Daisy, who has a basket of Mawa'i's shrunken naked cohorts, and is busy stringing them together into a tasteful lei to hang around the neck of the duke's son. Mawa'i blanches.

"Gimme the damn apple," she says.

Your party's in full swing now, and you pass the time eating off of Mawa'i's bare backside and watching naked hula dancers. As you attract the attention of the rest of the island, you gradually strip more island elf women, and soon have a lei-full of women for both yourself and Daisy.

"This is great," says Daisy, giggling at the tiny women bouncing about between her cleavage. "But weren't we here for some kind of treasure?"

"I think that the lesson here is that the real treasure is the time we share together," you say.

"No, there's an actual treasure," says the duke's son. "It's an object of great power that is used to summon the goddess of the island's volcano."

"A goddess? Is she cute?"