I could be somebody else

Kim’s face was white as snow, and not just because it was covered in semen.

“I… I-!”

Everything she’d done over the last 24 hours came crashing down on her, like a camera refocusing on the same picture. She was seeing everything through a different set of eyes now. How forward she’d been in the boutique, how forward she’d been with Nick, in the garden, saying those things she’d said to Dani…

It was like a different person had been controlling her body. A person that was her, and at the same time, wasn’t her.

And she really didn’t know what to make of it.

I did those things. I wanted to do them, but to do them with Nick, and so suddenly! Stripping naked yesterday was embarrassing enough, but she’d gone and done a lot more than that. The sticky sensation on her face was more than enough proof. And in spite of the gross goop covering her, she felt her face warming up.

“Kim…” Nick reached out to her, trying to see if she was okay. But his pants were still down, and that was the only thing she noticed.

“I-I’m sorry!” She stammered, stumbling to her feet. She took a few deep breaths. “I need to go clean myself off, and think about some stuff!”

She doubled around and ran for the elevator before skidding to a stop. Maybe a part of that bold tomboy was still inside of her deep down, because she felt a swell of courage rise up inside of her, and she turned to Nick.

“Don’t think I’m upset or anything!” She shouted back to him. “I really enjoyed spending time with you, it’s just… I have a lot to think about! Sorry!”

And then she was gone.

Nick stared at the elevator doors, still trying to process what had just happened. The wind blew through the garden, feeling strange on his exposed penis.

Then he saw movement out of the corner of his eye. Afraid of being literally caught with his pants down he fumbled to pull them back up, redoing the zipper just as the figure drew close enough for him to see who it was.

Sylvia.

She was walking down one of the paths, headed towards the hedge maze. Curious, he followed after her, trying not to let his presence be known.

Am I really doing something this stupid? He asked himself. It’s Sylvia. It’s obvious she knows I’m here, right?

Well, if she did, she certainly didn’t show it. Perhaps she had other things on her mind.

Nick followed her through the maze, trying to stay as far behind her as he could. He didn’t really know why he was following her, but his curiosity itched. He turned the corner and arrived in the central courtyard where the plants from the “demon world” were located.

And there was Sylvia, crouched down next to an empty exhibit. The one where a giant flower had been located, once upon a time.

She was shaking.

Is she… crying? Nick couldn’t believe what he was seeing. Without a word he turned and walked away, leaving Sylvia to herself.

Kim may not have been a tomboy anymore, but she may have broken the record for the four minute mile running to the bathroom. She practically waterboarded herself in the sink trying to scrape all of Nick’s semen off, using paper towels by the handful until she’d cleared the residue off of her completely.

She looked at her haggard appearance in the mirror. Her face was sparkling clean, but she could still feel the sticky sensation of semen clinging to her skin. She shivered and tried not to think about it as she wiped her face down with a towel. It just made her feel so…

“But you enjoyed it, right?”

Kim nearly threw herself backwards she jerked so hard. The towel slipped from her fingers and she whipped her head around the bathroom, trying to figure out what had just happened.

“Hello? What?” Was she hearing things now?

“Right here. Over here. In front of you!”

A tapping on the mirror got her attention. She turned back, and what she saw nearly made her shit her panties.

Her own reflection was talking to her, and she didn’t look amused.

“You… my hair-!” Kim shot her hand to her head, making sure that her hair was still as long as she remembered. Because the other her in the mirror had a pixie cut.

“Yeah, don’t worry, it’s still there!” The tomboy reflection laughed. “Come on, don’t look like that! You’re acting like you’re staring at a ghost!”

Kim gestured emphatically at her reflection. She kind of was.

“…Okay, ouch.” She puffed up her cheeks in frustration. “I’m not a ghost, Kim.”

“So you’re a hallucination, then? Some kind of residual leftover from my transformation?” Kim rubbed her temples and sighed. “I knew it. I’ve been working too damn hard.”

“I guess you could say I’m a hallucination, yeah,” her reflection nodded. “But don’t worry, you’re not going crazy! You’re just talking to yourself!”

She laughed at her own joke while Kim glared at her, unamused.

“Listen, alternate personality, I’m not-”

“There, that’s it right there. Stop that.” The reflection pointed directly at her.

“Wh-what?”

“I’m not an alternate personality. I’m not some remnant of your transformation, no, that’s gone. And I’m not some ghost haunting you, either. You know exactly what I am,” the mirror Kim insisted, crossing her arms over her chest. “I’m your brain helping you figure out this mess you’re in.”

“My… brain? What does that mean?” Kim rubbed her eyes, just to make sure she wasn’t hallucinating. But much to her chagrin, her doppelganger stayed where she was.

The other Kim just shrugged.

“I know what it means, so you must know what it means. I’m you, remember?”

Kim opened her mouth to reply, but cut herself off. “…Okay, so… you’re just, what, my brain sending me a message, then? Through a mirror?”

“Look, if you don’t want me here, I’ll go!” The other girl shrugged again. “I mean, come on, it’s not like you’re ACTUALLY crazy. Just take a moment and breathe, and try to sort everything out, okay? I’ll wait.”

She flashed a smile and Kim’s reflection returned to normal. She rubbed her eyes again, just to be sure.

“I sure feel crazy…” Kim muttered under her breath. But the other her had a point. I just need to slow down and sift back through everything that happened while I was transformed.

She looked back on all the interactions she had with the others through the eyes of her transformed self. I’m amazed I can be so daring… but also, have a filter sometimes, me! You don’t need to blurt out every thought that passes through your head, you know!

It felt pointless demanding that of herself, but just holding herself to that standard had its own benefits too.

By the time she finished digging through all the critical events, she found herself asking the same question Nick had poised to her before.

Do I like myself better like this? Or how I was when I was transformed? She lifted her head to look at her reflection, trying to see if the other girl was there to give her a hint. But nothing.

I guess it wouldn’t be that easy, would it…?

Kim took another breath, and really tried to consider what life would be like as that other version of her. It had felt so freeing, not having to worry about all those burdens, not having to concern herself with always being the responsible one, putting duty ahead of desire.

But could I really live like that? Kim still needed responsibility. Stability. While there were a lot of things in the “pro” column about her other self, there was one really big “con” that stood out to her.

When Dani had confronted Morgana this morning, Kim hadn’t handled it that well. While Dani might have been more aggressive than was warranted, Kim had let a few things slip that the other her would never dreamed of saying.

“I can’t believe it… ‘just’ a blowjob?” She muttered, shaking her head. Of course Dani would have felt humiliated and degraded by being **** to fellate a guy. Heck, she felt shamed and abused because her dream self had sex with Nick (while her other dream self watched… it was a really trippy kind of dream) even though she’d actually liked it.

It had just been an errant thought, really. Not the sort of thing you’d say out loud. Just the passing thought of “what’s she complaining about? She just gave him a blowjob, while I was **** to have sex with him!”

But she’d spoken that errant thought allowed, turning a harmless passing notion into something that had really antagonized the other person. So even though she wanted to empathize with Dani, the other girl wouldn’t have been receptive.

That was something she needed to fix, because that’s who Kim was. She was a fixer.

She looked at her reflection one more time. She certainly wished she could be as bold as she was before, but it felt so daunting. The transformation had been the easy way out. She didn’t like the easy way out.

Could I really do it? She wondered. Could I be that person without a transformation?

Kim swore she saw her reflection wink.

Shaking her head, Kim left the bathroom with a purpose burning in her brain. She wanted to check in with Dani, she needed to make sure the other girl was okay.

I said something hurtful and I need to make it right somehow. She didn’t quite know how to do that, but she was going to try. Everything always began with an apology.

Fortunately, Dani wasn’t that difficult to find. She stopped by the gym and headed inside, and to her relief, the other woman was right there on the bench-press, lifting more than double Kim’s weight.

Kim held her tongue, not wanting to disturb the other girl’s workout. While she waited for Dani to finish up, she took a look around the gym. She hadn’t really been in here before, working out wasn’t really her style. Gym memberships cost money, after all. Kim maintained her trim figure by a combination of long walks in the park and a steady diet of malnutrition.

Remembering the toned figure she’d had before, she reached down to her midsection and tried to feel for some abs. Unfortunately, she only found belly fat. Now, Kim always had a very realistic view of her personal appearance, knowing that she wasn’t some great beauty. In spite of all the nights she went to bed hungry, she’d always had a bit of pudge in the midsection that kept her from being some size zero stick figure.

But knowing what she could look like if she put in the effort made her just a little bit curious to get on the fitness kick. But I can’t think about that now. Business before pleasure, after all, I need to make things right.

Yep, she was definitely Kim.

“Hoo-ah!” Dani locked the bar into place and sprung up, wiping her face with a towel. Her tan skin glistened with sweat and her hair stuck to her back, tied up in a ponytail so it wouldn’t get caught. Kim had to admit that she looked amazing, even if she had more curves than muscle.

The tomboy saw her for the first time, and rubbed her eyes.

“Oh, it’s you, Kim. You turned back to normal then?” Dani asked.

Kim nodded. “Yeah, a little bit ago. I just… I came here to say…”

The words were about to leave her lips when the room started spinning around her. From Dani’s perspective, the schoolgirl had blinked out of existence.

Dani blinked. “…Huh. Weird.” And then she went right back to her workout.

Meanwhile, Kim popped back behind the counter of the boutique. It was time for work! “OH, COME ON!” She groaned, boinking her head against the cash register.

Kim might have been shanghaied back to work in the shopping district, but there were other women who were there by choice.

Well, two women were, and a third had come along because she was being… ugh… nice.

“What do you mean you don’t like [Teenage Girl Shows How Special and Important She is to the Whole World by Being Completely Normal]?!” Morgana exclaimed. “It’s only, like, the most popular young adult series in the world!”

“Young adult series are grotesque!” Mary countered. “They’re always about vampires making out with werewolves and stuff! That’s sacrilege! Those creatures are evil!”

“Do you know how bigoted you sound right now?!” Morgana stomped her foot. “Vampires aren’t evil! They’re just misunderstood!”

“They drink blood! They eat people!”

“Because they have to! They’re tortured souls, cursed by fate beyond their control, and have made themselves into heroes by using their dark nature to stand up for helpless teenage girls who don’t have any friends!”

Mary couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “The main love interest in that book is over 150 years old! Why is he hitting on a teenager!? That’s sick! Those books are written by degenerates, for degenerates!”

“Who cares how old he is?! He’s a vampire! That means he’s perpetually 17!”

“Okay, so, by that logic, it’s fine to lust after someone who looks like a five year old just because they’re actually, like, a bajillion?” Mary demanded.

“That’s… I mean…” Morgana baulked. “Wh-who cares about that anyway? It’s a work of fiction!”

“Ha!” Mary grinned triumphantly, placing her hands on her hips. Her posture caused her chest to bounce. “So you admit that vampires aren’t real!”

“No! Never! Faeries are real, so vampires are definitely real!” Morgana wailed.

Gina gazed longingly at the staircase leading to the second floor of the bookshop. She wondered if throwing herself off the balcony would kill her.

“What are you reading, anyway?” Morgana demanded. “I’m pretty sure this store doesn’t have a children’s section, you know!”

“Says the actual teenager,” Mary snorted. “And for the record, I happen to be a connoisseur of mysteries. They’re endeavors of intellectual discovery, not smut about unholy beasts copulating with minors.”

“Oh, blah blah blah,” Morgana rolled her eyes, completely forgetting that she was supposed to be making friends. “‘Oh, look at me, I’m Mary, I never masturbated to a vampire sucking my own blood’ gawd you are just the most boring person in the world, aren’t you?”

“At least I’m not a degenerate freak!” Mary countered. She ignored the mounting pressure she felt as her boobs started to leak, and tried not to let the surge of pleasure shooting through her get the better of her.

The two glared at each other.

“Okay, okay, that’s enough you two.” Gina clapped her hands together, snapping them out of their feud. “Clearly, this was a huge mistake. Come on, can’t we just get along? We’re all in this together.”

“Tell that to little miss ‘I got touched by an angel and filed a police report’,” Morgana sneered.

“I have no intention of playing nice with someone who claims to be in congress with the adversary,” Mary replied.

Gina blinked. “…Wait, she’s in congress? I thought she was a kid?”

Mary slapped her face and sighed into her palm.

“Okay, well, I’m not much of a reader or anything, but even I can see the writing on the wall,” Gina said, clearing her throat. “You two aren’t so good at the whole ‘getting along’ thing. And that’s fine. We don’t all have to be friends here. But at least try and tolerate each other, yeah? For now anyway. So let’s do this. Mary, you go to the mystery section, Morgana, you go to the young adult section, and both of you leave me alone! Sound good?”

Gina really, REALLY hated being the responsible one. She felt like her mom, and that made her sick to her stomach.

“Fine…” Morgana sighed.

“Okay,” Mary nodded solemnly.

The two girls glanced at each other again and passed each other by to get to their respective sections.

“Goth freak,” Mary muttered under her breath.

“Church mouse,” Morgana muttered right back.

Finally, peace and quiet. Gina walked over to one of the shelves and started thumbing through some rock magazines while she waited for the two of them to finish what they were doing.

I really don’t want to have a daughter, she resolved. Those two are way too much work.

About an hour later, both girls returned with a stack of books each. Gina couldn’t believe anyone could read that much, it would take her days if not weeks just to get through one of them.

“Okay, you all ready to go?” She asked.

“Why are you even getting that many books?” Mary asked. “It’s not like you have an official bedroom to keep them in yet.”

“I know,” Morgana sighed. Then she smirked. “I thought it might be better if I let Nick keep them for me, in the Master’s Suite. That way when I want to read one, I can just go pay him a visit!”

She flashed a conspiratorial smile and Mary’s jaw dropped.

“That… that’s-!” She sputtered. Why didn’t I think of that?!

She cursed the fact that she had her own bedroom. Morgana had just discovered a clever way of getting permission to go see Nick whenever she wanted!

Gina suppressed a laugh. Nicely done. She’s pretty diabolical when she wants to be! Sorry Mary, but it looks like you lost this round!

“W-well, at least Nick and I have the same taste in literature!” Mary huffed, trying to regain some ground over the other girl, even though this was a meaningless thing to compete over. “He loves mysteries as much as I do! We’ve spent many nights together just reading them!”

“Nick likes mysteries? Are you sure? Maybe he’s just humoring you,” Morgana said, frowning. “Because the way he writes, his style…” She swooned. “There’s so much more depth and humanity than you could find in a simple mystery… he truly writes from the heart, capturing his painful, yearning soul on every page, like a real artist… no one can write like him…”

“There’s depth and humanity in mysteries!” Mary exclaimed. “Understanding why someone would commit a **** is a crucial part of solving the mystery!”

Morgana rolled her eyes. “Please, mystery novels are just glorified puzzles. There’s no real heart in them.”

“Well, they’re better than young adult fiction, where every heroine is the same bland cardboard cutout!” Mary exclaimed.

“Hey!” Morgana snapped. “[Kardie B. Kuddoubt] is NOT a cardboard cutout! She’s a developed and complex manifestation of a struggling teenage girl, tortured by the fact that nobody understands how special and perfect and flawless she is! Take that back!”

Gina groaned. They’d spent the whole day together, and got nowhere. What a mess.

“I’m leaving!” Morgana huffed, hauling her bag of books away as she stormed towards the elevator. Mary watched her go and sighed.

“That was… bad, wasn’t it?” She said glumly. “I’m the one who’s supposed to be the adult, but I was acting like a child.”

“Hah! It’s not that bad!” Gina laughed. “I’m the one who’s supposed to be acting like a child, and you **** me to be an adult, so I’d say it’s a tradeoff!”

Mary stared at her. “Aren’t you older than me?”

“…Shaddep.”

Mary giggled a little. Morgana might have been a pain to deal with, but maybe Gina wasn’t so bad? She’d certainly seen a new side to her, having to be mature and responsible for once. Maybe she wasn’t such a lost cause.

“…Thanks for today, by the way,” Mary said. “It was really decent of you to try and help us get along.”

Gina shrugged. “Ah, it wasn’t mu-UUH-uch!”

A stab of pleasure surging through her caused her voice to crack. She had to grab the lamppost to keep from falling over.

“…Sorry about that.”