Chem Lab: The Asymmetric Synthesis of a Steroid Precursor

You show up to chemistry lab ready for your next challenge. Chris gives you a high five as you walk in, and the two of you swagger over to your lab bench.

“So, was the Grignard child’s play or what?” he says, a wide grin on his face.

“Highest yields in the class, let’s goo,” you say.

“Bet the ladies appreciate the service,” Chris says, turning and giving Sam and Jess a wink.

They glance at each other and laugh, something passing between them that you don’t catch. You hope it’s a good thing.

“Erm… can everyone come around here? The next lab is a tough one, so please pay attention to me,” Jake, the TA says.

You gather round with the rest of the students, interested in what the next task will be.

“Steroids are biologically… erm… really important. So we’re going to synthesize a steroid precursor this week. It’s asymmetric synthesis, so a bit more advanced than what we did last time. Specifically, it’s going to be synthesizing an optically active indandione,” he continues. “Here, take a look at the blackboard. I’ve drawn the four key reactions that you’ll need to undertake.”

You look at Chris and raise an eyebrow. He whistles low. This is the real shit. Playtime’s over. The reaction from the rest of the class is one of general horror and surprise. Yeah. It’s a doozy alright.

“So I can tell other people think the same thing as me, this is going to be a challenge,” Jake says. “Erm… Professor Styles was really impressed with everyone’s yields being really high last time so she’s accelerating the curriculum. You would usually get around six weeks to finish this lab, but she’s cut it down to four.” He looks at the crowd of students somewhat apologetically, before his gaze comes to a rest on Jess and Sam, and it abruptly stops. You see him licking his lips. “And erm… to make sure everyone’s on track, during the lab today, I want to check out each group… I mean, check in with each group… so come up to meet me at some point and I can give some pointers. Okay?”

There’s murmurs of assent, and then TA continues to mumble on for a couple more minutes. You hang around, just because this will be a tricky lab to complete, and it turns out to be useful: he goes through a demonstration of Kugelrohr distillation and optical rotation, two techniques that you’ve heard of but never put in practice yourself.

Then, it’s back to the lab bench.

“What’s the plan, man?” Chris says, shaking his head. “Are we even going to be able to finish this lab in four sessions?”

“We’re going to have to be totally on the ball. Any mistake could screw the whole thing up,” you say. “But you know what? Having another pair of hands could make this process go much more smoothly.”

“Or two pairs,” Chris smiles, getting your drift. Jess and Sam are standing at their bench, frowns on their faces as they puzzle over the TA’s cryptic notes. “Let’s get the girls on board.”

The two of you fist-bump and walk over to the ladies. Though they’re both wearing traditional white lab coats, somehow on them, the coats look like nightgowns that hug their hourglass figures. Sam’s tits and Jess’s ass are both works of art, and there’s nothing that these pieces of cloth can do to conceal them.

“Hey girls, how’s it going?” Chris asks, flashing them his easy smile.

They smile back, groaning.

“Trying to figure out when the drop period for this class ends,” Jess says.

“There’s no way this lab is possible,” Sam says. “Not in the time we’ve been given.”

You and Chris laugh, nodding.

“We felt the same,” he says. “But then, we got an idea.”

“Want to team up again? Chris and I were thinking, same deal as last week,” you say. “I think we’ve got a shot with four hands on deck.”

“Yeah, that works with me,” Sam smiles.

“It’ll give me an excuse to stay in this class,” Jess says. “So, where do we start?”

“First reaction, succinic acid and propionyl chloride. We’ve got to make ourselves some 2-Methyl-1,3-cyclopentanedione,” you say.

Everyone nods. This is the easy part.

“I can start on the vacuum distillation, work out all the impurities before we can start the reaction. Want to help out, Jess?” Chris asks.

The girl nods and heads off with your lab partner, leaving you alone with Sam.

“Start up the hood?” she asks, and you nod.

The two of you set up two reflux condensers—got to have two of everything for the two ‘lab groups’—charging them with nitromethane, and then you start up their stirrers. In goes your catalysts, anhydrous aluminum chloride and nitromethane. You and Sam watch as the stirrers do its thing, standing close to one another as heat washes off from the reaction.

“Hot,” she says, winking at you.

“I’ve seen hotter,” you reply, giving her a suggestive nudge.

“I bet you have,” she laughs, leaning suggestively at the hood, showing off her bust in the process.

The two of you continue the low-grade flirting as you wait for the mixture to cool off, and Chris and Jess return soon enough with the succinic acid and propionyl chloride. You replace the nitrogen inlet on the flasks with tubes connected to the acid, and then Jess and you begin the slow process of introducing the acid into the mixture. You have to take your time: the process creates a large amount of hydrogen chloride gas, and everytime the mixture foams (which seems to be whenever you introduce just a bit), you have to wait for it to dissipate before you can add more.

The four of you take turns in pairs managing the acid, while the others chat and work on writing up the lab report. Such is life in the lab. The minutes go by easily. Chris has got jokes and stories for days, the two of you riffing off each other like Abbott and Costello, while the girls are great gossips, giving you the latest about everyone on campus.

That’s when you notice Jake, the TA, giving you an awkward wave. Has he been trying to get your attention? You realize he’s staring at the girls, but then your gazes meet, and he beckons you to come over.

He’s scared to approach you, Chris, and the girls. How funny. Should you pay any attention to him?

Chris +5
Jess +5
Sam +5