Love (on) The Beach

"Git, ya hellhound! Git!" Gus shouted as he jumped onto the fence and began to climb, just as the dog leapt up and nipped his naked ass. "YEOW!"

In a **** move, Gus removed one of his shoes and threw it at the dog, missing the canine as he jumped up again and came close to biting Gus' ass once more. The naked man then removed his other shoe and tossed it at the German Shepard, hitting the dog in the nose as it yelped and ran back to his mate.

"That's what ya'll get, you sonuva bi- WHOA!" Gus screamed as he fell over the other side of the fence, landing face first in the mud as the camera fell next to him...

Immortalizing the naked, mud covered yokel with a flash of light.

"Dagnabit!" Gus spat as he wiped the mud from his face, looking down at the ground in anger. His anger soon melted as he saw a pair of footprints leading away in the dirt and down the street towards the beach...

Bare footprints.

"Ah'm gonna get that there picture if'n it's the last thing Ah do..." Gus said as he stood up, grabbing his camera as he stomped in the direction of the couple. He took a moment to stop next to a bush, pulling off a few leaves as he placed them over his manhood and ass, using the mud to hold them in place to preserve his modesty before continuing the hunt.

"That's the creep?!" Tyrone asked as the trio raced out to his car.

"Oh, yeah! That's him!" Dana replied, "He's probably tracking him down to the beach right now!"

"There's just one thing I'm still confused about." Jessica commented as the three got into the car, "Why the hell did that creepy pervert cover his junk in poison ivy?"

Back on the beach, Steven and Mary gazed into each other's eyes for the umpteenth time that night, their hearts racing. From Steven's viewpoint, the young woman bathed in the light of the full moon under him was a literal angel, her long hair spread out like a halo. And from Mary's perspective, the young man above her looked like a chiseled Greek god, his features highlighted by the moonlight.

"Mary..."

"Steven..."

"D-do you want this...?" They asked simultaneously before simultaneously replying, "More than anything."

Without another word, Steven leaned down and brought his lips to Mary's, the two naked lovers awkwardly embracing each other as their tongues wrestled with each other again. The two let out a series of moans as Steven lined up his fully erect manhood, and with one thrust -

"You know, maybe we should fast forward through this part." Steven said, rubbing the back of his neck. "Anyway, after we -"

"No, no! Wait a minute. I kinda wanna hear this out..."

Mary looked just as quizzical as her husband as she asked, "You? The girl who asked us to burn your old dolls after we told her the facts of life?"

"Hey, Dad was the one who used a lion and a bunny to explain it!" Cassie defended, "Plus, I was twelve, so..."

"Why did you use those stuffed animals, Steven?"

"Mary, we've been over this." Steven explained, "The toy store was out of Barbie dolls, so I had to improvise."

"Why not two of those dolls you and Mom have in those cabinets in the spare room?"

"First, young lady, those are action figures!" Steven scolded semi-seriously, "Second, don't even joke like that."

"What? I used to play that Black Panther and Wonder Woman went on dates all the time as a kid."

"Is that why I kept finding Diana in Wakanda?" Mary asked in surprise, shaking her head. "Besides, there's only one true love for Wonder Woman who's a dark, rich, animal themed hero. And that, young lady, is Batman."

"That I can agree on!" Steven commented, "And it's one of the only things about Wonder Woman we ever did agree on. Unlike how Diana would kick Jean Grey's ass..."

"Oh, no you don't, Steven! Diana is a powerful fighter and one of the top dogs in DC, but against the freaking Phoenix ****?! She's dead before she could even ask Hera for help!"

"Guys, the story..."

"Oh, right..." Mary said, giving a look that told Steven they'd finish this later. "Are you sure though, Sweetie? Not a lot of people want to hear about their parents having sex."

"No one does." Steven added.

"I can manage." Cassie replied, "There's just one thing I gotta know..."

"Well, okay..." Steven said before clearing his throat.

The two let out a series of moans as Steven lined up his fully erect manhood, and with one thrust, the young man had entered Mary, the two letting out a loud, simultaneous gasp in response.

"A-are you okay?" Steven stammered, looking down at Mary in concern.

"Y-yeah!" Mary stammered in reply, "It hurts a little, but it should fade in a bit."

The two stayed in that position for a minute longer until Mary took a deep breath and said, "Okay. Go slow and gentle, please."

Steven nodded as he did just that, thrusting in slowly and gently as the couple moaned in pleasure. This felt wonderful! Steven bent down and kissed and sucked on Mary's neck, the latter letting out a pleasured gasp as she nibbled on his ear. Mary then began to kiss and suck on Steven's neck, the two leaving a matching set of hickies on one another.

"Steven..." Mary gasped as Steven continued his awkward yet slow and gentle thrusts. "Faster... Harder..."

Not needing to be told twice, Steven proceeded to do just that, the moans and gasps the two were making turning into hungry animalistic groans and yelps of pleasure. The two awkwardly embraced the other as the kissed with a white, hot passion, Mary's breasts jiggling wildly with each awkward yet passionate thrust.

"S-steven!" Mary groaned, grabbing the young man's ass and digging her nails in. "Yes! YES! Oh, give me your virginity as you destroy mine!"

"M-Mary!" Steven yelled, grunting. "Oh my G- UGH! You're so good! No! Not 'good'! You're freaking perfect!

"No, you're perfect!" Mary cried out, wailing in pleasure as she felt herself tighten around Steven's manhood. "I... I freaking LOVE YOU!"

"I love you too!" Steven yelled.

Finally, after a few minutes of their lovemaking, the two let out a passionate, animalistic scream that echoed through the night, Steven's manhood erupting inside of Mary. The young man landed softly on the young woman underneath him, the two panting heavily as Mary felt Steven's seed pumping into her.

"You... Never... Talked to a girl before me?" Mary asked as Steven's manhood stopped pumping.

"Nope. You... Ever... Been with anyone before?"

"Nope." Mary said as she kissed Steven.

Suddenly, Steven gasped in horror. "Oh crap! I just came inside you!" He said, "We... We can't be parents yet! We're not ready! At least, I'm not. I mean, starting a family with you would be the greatest thing I could ever think of, but -"

Steven's tirade ended when Mary put a finger to his lips, a giggle escaping her as she stared lovingly up at her lover. "It's okay, sweetheart. I'm on the pill."

"Oh thank God!" Cassie sighed, slumping down into her a chair in relief. "For a second there, I thought you guys were having a shotgun wedding."

"Oh no." Mary replied with a chuckle, "I found out I was pregnant with you the day after we got back home from our honeymoon."

"To be fair, we did pretend to be bunnies those five weeks in Hawaii." Steven said.

"Okay, Dad, I think I'm scarred enough." Cassie said with a chuckle, "Maybe you should get back to the story? Please?"

"Okay, okay." Steven laughed before clearing his throat. "After we made love to one another..."

"Well, Ah think this is gonna get me tons of internet fame! Shame Ah didn't tap that before that there nerd did!"

Steven and Mary gasped as they turned to see Gus standing in front of them, covered in mud and leaves... And aiming his camera right at them!

"Oh, please don't tell me he got you!"

"Well, he would've, but..."

"No escapin' now!" Gus said, readying to take the picture. "Watch the -"

Just then, Gus grunted as he felt his ass, manhood, and groin begin to itch. "Dagnabit! What the hell is goin' on?! Why in tarnation am Ah itchy?!"

"Uh... Could it have something to do with the poison ivy on your junk?" Mary asked.

"The WHAT?!" Gus shrieked, using the flash from the camera to light up the leaves on his lower half. "GAH!"

Gus turned and ran towards the ocean, itching like crazy as he dropped the camera by the shore and dove in. As the man yelped from the itching and freezing cold water, Steven leaned down to Mary.

"Quick! While he's distracted!"

"What about the camera?"

"If he had to use his hands to put the ivy on his junk, that thing is contaminated!"

"Good thinking! Let's get out of here!"