HELL

Susie opened the door, and balked. There was nothing beyond but a staircase leading down. "Are we really going to go through the Hell door?" she asked.

"Come on," Bonnie scoffed. "It's not like it literally leads directly to Hell." She stepped through, pulling Bonnie with her. Instantly the stairs turned into a greased spiral slide. It carried the squealing girls down and down, the wooden walls of the house turning to bedrock, the heat rising, until it deposited them in Hell.

Susie picked herself up off the muddy floor of Hell. She was standing in a vast abyssal cavern, lit by flickering firelight. In the distance was a vast iron contraption, tall as a mountain, with hundreds of thousands of ruby-red objects protruding from holes in the intricate grille that covered its surface. It made a high-pitched sound as it rotated, attended by millions of fluttering creatures that looked like flies at this distance.

It took Susie a moment to realise that the fluttering creatures were imps with paddles. The high-pitched sound was squeals, and the red objects were the naked bottoms of beautiful women.

"Hi," said the Devil, manifesting next to them in a puff of brimstone. He was a tall, incredibly handsome man in a neat black suit, with short stubby horns. "I'm the Devil."

Instantly, Susie and Bonnie's underwear burst into flames and shrivelled off their bodies. They shrieked in horror and covered themselves, feeling the total humiliation that comes with separation from God. The Devil looked them up and down appreciatively.

"Welcome to Hell," he said. "Where women can only be naked, and dignity doesn't exist. I have a feeling you'll fit right in."