The Sentencing

You adjusted your tie. "Mother?" you asked quietly. Carrie finished her makeup beside you.

"Yes, sweetie?"

"After this is done ... could I get a boyfriend?"

"Well, let's not put the cart before the horse. But let me take care of finding you the right man, okay? I'm going to find a very special man for you," Carrie replied.

"Okay, mother."

Anything to take you away from today. It was sentencing day. The case had been transferred again, to Judge Leland Stern. You and Carrie drove silently to the courthouse. Your attorney had a plea agreement for 12 months of house arrest, but this judge was a wildcard.

***

"Next defendant?"

"John Putnam, Jr., your honor."

"Who?" the judge asked, distracted.

"Umm, the Coffee Shop Pervert," the prosecutor replied, flushing.

"Oh. Yes, everyone knows about this guy. Caught masturbating in the drive-through at a coffee shop. Seen by the manager and the cashier. Though they reportedly didn't see much, right?"

"That's correct your honor. He is ... underendowed." The judge smirked.

"Well, my first instinct was to through out the agreement as to sentencing and give the guy a year in the penitentiary. He looks like a cellmate would straighten him out fast." The judge leered. "But then I saw this article in a local magazine about the defendant's father. Local hero star athlete, in the tank for over a decade, meets a beautiful woman and turns his life around. And how would that turnaround story go if his son goes into prison for a year, I wonder. Anyone want to say anything for the boy." All eyes turned when Carrie stood up.

"Your honor, I am the boy's future stepmother. And yes, everything you wrote in that story is right. And yes, my stepson is deeply ashamed over what he did, and I promise you, I promise to God if you honor the sentencing agreement, I personally will make sure he stays on the up and up and doesn't commit any more ... public perversion." The judge licked his lips. Now here is a fine woman, he thought.

"Fine, I'll honor the agreement, for the sake of this boy's parents. A year of house arrest, and you will wear an ankle monitor. And you thank God you're the son of John Putnam and the future Carrie Putnam, boy. Let's take a recess."