The Alphabet

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Author's Note:

Before I let these two idiots ruin your day, I'd like to announce that I've got a Discord up and running again! Feel free to stop by, hang out, and/or chat with other like-minded weirdos there. I'll be posting regular updates as to when new chapters will be released, occasionally posting full chapters before release, and will share the status of a story if requested. Oh, and there will be cake too, I promise.

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When darkness falls, heroes will shine like stars on the battlefield of infinity. For when all is forsake-

"What the fuck are you on about?"

... Just trying to give the story a memorable kick-off.

"Fuck that. It's been a while since you and I annoyed the Readers with some unhinged banter."

Your thirst for attention is admirable, but fruitless. For I am the Narrator, and I will dictate the intro-

"Shut up, nerd. We're doing this the old fashion way, in the spirit of our first stories."

Fine...

"Howdy, Readers!"

Yeah.

"For the few of you who may know of our original works, I'm proud to announce that the Genies are back!"

... Along with a plethora of other characters.

"Old tales of smut will be revived and revised, and new ones will spawn from the pits of perversion and overactive imaginations!"

From the dawns of this kinky universe, all the way to its bitter and disappointing ends, as well as its ever-constant cycles of rebirth and... Huh?

"Heroes will shine like diamonds in a sea of darkness! On the Battlefield of Eternity, when all is forsaken, a select few will-"

Hey!

"Ugh, what?! I was on a roll!"

I knew this script you handed me seemed fishy! It's the intro I was going to do, only-

"Only better! Any intro that doesn't have me in it is just half-baked, and you know it!"

I wanted to do something heartfelt and deep, and you're... well...

"Well, what?"

...

"Spit it out!"

You suck?

"... You take that back."

Anyway, here's the gist of things, folks.

"Don't ignore me! Apologize!"

Genies have existed since-

"You really wanna do this, huh?"

-the dawn of Time and Space, and-

"Okay then, I'll be right back..."

-their name was given to them by a being known-

"Hey, intern! Where's my chainsaw?!"

-as The Creator. These are their stories, as well as that of-

*rrraaaAAAMDMADMAdmdm...*

-the C-Creator themselves. Of course, get ready for all-

*rrraaaAAAMDMADMAdmdm...*

-of the f-fun and s-sexy shenanigans in store f-for, uh... you all.

*rrraaaAAAMDMADMAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-*

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to run.

"Get the fuck back here!"