Intermission - An issue of trust (part 1).

“I’ve given your proposal some serious thought, Ms. Knight,” the principal told her.

“Which one, sir?” Alice asked.

“The one to bring back the talent show.”

Alice was called to the principal’s office after classes were over. Right now, students were either leaving school grounds or staying for their club activities. The student council itself didn’t have a meeting, but Alice was asked to stay to discuss some matters with the principal.

“And what is your opinion, sir?” Alice asked, keeping her expectations and personal interests in check.

“I talked about it with some of the teachers, and even asked the opinion of some friends of mine who work at a TV station. They all seem to agree that the talent show is a good idea, and we might be able to get it broadcast on television. If not live, then at least a long report in the news.”

“And the budget, sir?”

The principal sighed. “There’s some, but with the new lab expenses…” He shook his head. “If we can manage to make it student-run, however, the budget we do have can go to give them all the materials they need instead of hiring sound technicians or stage crew.”

Alice superseded her own sigh. “I bring it up to the rest of the council and then to the class presidents in next week’s meeting.”

“Thank you, Ms. Knight. I do hope this goes well.”

“As do I, sir. Was there anything else?”

“No. You may leave. Be safe on your way home.”

“Thank you.”

With a short bow, Alice left the principal’s office. Once far away enough, she let herself let out a sound that was half a sigh, half a groan.

Stingy old fart. Alice had seen the numbers. There was enough money to hire staff to make sure the event went smoothly. The principal was just hoping the students themselves would take care of it so he could claim in interviews that his school was just that good, all the while keeping his money. He wanted to have his cake and eat it, too, basically.

Nevertheless, it was a chance to have something interesting done in this dull school. Something that wasn’t a damn spelling contest for once. Alice knew clubs and individual students were eager to show what they could do, and they well damn deserved the chance. Life wasn’t all academics. It just wasn’t.

She caught herself scowling, but thankfully there was no one in the hallway with her. She let out another sigh, this one to compose herself more than to let out frustrations.

“Now then…” To take care of something that turned her stomach far more than dealing with the old fart. “Please tell me they’re not mad…”

Alice walked up the stairs to the rooftop and opened the door. Sarah was leaning against the chain link fence, Mila was looking down into the court where the soccer team was practicing, and Grace was looking at her phone.

Alice’s stomach twisted again.

“What’s this sudden summon for?” she asked with a weak chuckle. “Am I in trouble?”

That none of them answered with a witty comeback was worrying. Just the other day they had no issues with her inviting their boyfriend to the car meet this Saturday. Now Alice had the feeling they had changed their minds. But…

“We just want to have a serious talk, Alice,” Grace said, pocketing her phone. “One we should’ve had a long time ago.”

Grace and Sarah had the same serious expression, while Mila looked more hesitant. It wasn’t a surprise. The former two were always more willing to bring out difficult topics if they thought it was necessary.

“Okay.” Alice shrugged lightly. “What’s this about?”

“When is it enough?” Sarah asked.

“Ah?”

“You made it to student council president already. You have your ticket,” Grace said. “How much longer are you playing the part of a serious, earnest student?”

Alice tensed up. “Are you sure you should be asking that, Grace? You of all people?”

Grace shrugged easily. “I play the part for the teachers so they can’t say anything when I cut loose every once in a while. I have my fun whenever I can. But you?”

“Alice…” Mila grimaced as she looked at her. “It’s clearer now that we’re seeing you more often. It’s like you’ve closed yourself off to everyone.”

“Fuck the presidency,” Sarah said, nearly spat. “We never should’ve left you alone. We fucked that one up.”

Alice’s hands began to tremble, so she crossed her arms and held her elbows to hide it. “What are you talking about? I haven’t closed myself.”

“Your friends, Isabelle and Noelle,” Grace continued. “Why don’t they know that you’re a mechanic and street racer?”

“That’s… You know why.”

Grace nodded. “We do.”

“You don’t trust them, do you?” Mila’s pained, sad face hurt far more than Grace’s stern tone.

Alice felt her heart twisting.

“Aren’t they your closest friends now?” Sarah asked her. “But from what we’ve seen, you don’t act much differently with them than you do with anyone else. Did you tell them you were dating that college guy for a while? Do you tell them stupid jokes? Do you watch horror movies with them and hide under a blanket?”

“I…” Alice’s mouth went dry.

“We really screwed up,” Grace said, biting her own lip so hard Alice thought she was gonna draw blood. “Why did we ever think staying away was good for you?”

“I’m… I’m trying to fix that, okay?” Alice said, looking away from them. She kept holding her elbows, but now she felt more like she was holding herself. Her lip quivered. “I’m trying to fix…”

Of course they knew. These girls always knew.

Alice used to be a really naive girl. Her mother always told her that, so long as one approached people with honesty and kindness, they would reciprocate. Life taught her her mother was wrong. It taught her people took advantage of honesty and kindness.

When she was younger, she believed the sweet words of someone like that. It led to a terrible two months, which almost became something even worse if her friends hadn’t intervened. She still shivered at the memories, sometimes even woke up in a cold sweat from nightmares.

Since then, and without realizing it… Alice had been keeping people at a distance. And then her three closest friends decided to stay away from her, mostly. It was for her sake, she knew. For the sake of something she had to do. For the sake of something she didn’t even truly want, but couldn’t bring herself to tell them that.

Alice suddenly felt Mila hugging her tightly, as strongly as she could manage.

“M-Mila?”

“You should’ve just told us!” Mila cried. “You should’ve just told us you were lonely!”

Alice’s lip quivered. She hugged Mila back and let out a humorless chuckle. “I… I wanted to stop relying on you for everything. I wanted to be as strong as you are.”

“The presidency,” Grace said. “It’s because of your dad, isn’t it?”

Of course she’d figure it out! Grace was just amazing. Alice still couldn’t measure up.

“Yeah.” She didn’t need to say any more. Tears threatened her eyes, so she closed her eyes, but with them came a sense of relief. “I’m sorry. If I was stronger, if I was… better…!”

She felt a light, painless flick on her forehead. Sarah was there, and her friend then planted a light kiss on the top of her head.

“You’re strong. You’re the best. You just need to be you.”

No. Alice was weak. She tried and played the part, but it was never enough. Still… It was reassuring to hear Sarah say that.

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