Call him Master ( route)

"What?!" You shout.

"I'll make sure Molly stays in love with you if you agree to be my ****. I don't see what is so unreasonable about that," Ned explained.

"You can tell enslave someone! This is insane! How am I supposed to agree to this?!" You are in disbelief.

Ned sighs, "Goddamnit. Tell you what. How about instead of my '****' you're my indentured servant?"

"What is the difference?" You ask.

"In your case, essentially nothing," he replied plainly.

"Then, why the fuck-"

"Look, you know I could just make you do whatever I want, right? Like, fuck, man. You've always been a douche, but I didn't think you were stupid," Ned interjected.

"What would I have to do?" You ask.

"Well, for one, always address me as Master, Master Ned, or Sir. A **** should respect their master. You'd be responsible for all duties around the house, but also would have to help bring in revenue to fund our whole little operation - but don't worry too much about that. I have some fun ideas in mind on how we're gonna make a bunch of money."

You start to understand that Ned has clearly manipulated you into this exact situation, and that he had planned this elaborate game to get you to willingly agree to be his ****. It likely is all just to satisfy some sick fantasy. The only question is, do you play along?